Wedding- one child and not the other

[Susanna85]

AIBU to this it's odd that one of my children is invited and one isn't.

My oldest friend, godmother to my DC (6) and bridesmaid at my own wedding has invited my older child to her wedding but not the younger (1).

I feel weird about joining as a family of three and leaving one behind. If we can even find suitable childcare.

Ots not odd at all. Younger children are more apt to ruin the ceremony than a 6yo

I guess having a toddler running around is a bit different to a 6 year old. The 6 year old is capable of standing still and being quiet.

I think it’s odd too, I’d decline personally.

It’s very strange and hurtful- you won’t get any support on here though OP. For a mums website they are a fairly selfish bunch who think children should never be at weddings and no one should have any contact with any family members!

Do you know the reason?
I’d find it odd that she didn’t speak to you about it, have you just received an invite with the 3 names on? It might be that she doesn’t want babies/toddlers there. Or that she hasn’t invited many children but wants her godchild there.

Odd, rude and hurtful - and I say that as someone who planned and subsequently cancelled a large wedding recently.
Your friend is being thoughtless. Speak to her about it, talk openly and honestly, she's your friend after all.

This happened to me. Bridezilla had a melt down when I explained I couldn't stay the night and leave the baby at home. We have barely spoken since.

Someone recently summed it up on another wedding thread- the current trend is to have the wedding of your dreams by cutting corners on manners.

I wouldn't be going.

Maybe she is only have children in the wedding party, and no others as guests?

I wouldn't be going. I absolutely understand people wanting a child free wedding, but either both my kids go, or neither of them go 🤷‍♀️

I would never go to a wedding my children weren't also invited too but am aware I am in the minority on MN. I remember reading my first thread on here about it, many years ago and finding it incomprehensible that was considered a normal thing. I'd never come across a child free wedding in my life and never have since except here on MN.

Where are you from @YgritteSnow?

Just curious as most weddings around here are child free. I've been to about 10 in the last 4 years only 1 of which children were invited.

I wonder if it's a localised thing. Or maybe to do with different social groups.

It is rude. I am all for child free weddings, and if she had invited neither child I would ya fair enough. But splitting siblings like that is really weird.

Check with her that the 1 year old isn't invited, if you haven't already. She might have assumed that the baby didn't need mentioning.

YANBU at all OP

She's entitled to invite or not invite whomever she chooses, regardless of the age. Don't go if you don't want to.

She probably doesn’t want kids there but feels she has to have her goddaughter. Otherwise she maybe just doesn’t want babies/toddlers as they are more likely to ruin the ceremony and speeches with loud crying etc

I think that’s shit and hurtful. I’d ask her why.

Ffs, the one year old won’t know or care that they’re missing anything, and would be highly likely to disrupt the wedding, and the relationship your friend has with her godchild is clearly important to her. You should be pleased by that. You’re just looking for a reason to be offended. No doubt if neither child had been invited it would have been “AIBU to be hurt that my friend hasn’t invited my child when she’s her god-daughter and supposed to be special”.

Maybe she just wants those she feels she has a closer connection to and hasn’t really thought it through. If she hasn’t got children she might not realize.
To her the 6 year old her her God Child whereas your 1 year old isn’t iyswim.

Just because she was bm at your wedding doesn’t mean she is obligated to do similar with you if they get married.

If she wants no babies and no toddlers then fine but you should explain before the invites go out, you can’t just drop members of the same family from an invite and not expect a raised eyebrow. I’d just ask, is there a reason DC2 isn’t on the invite.

And honestly if you cannot ask a simple question to clarify it, Are you really as close as you think.

Ah that’s horrible. I would never do that. I’d decline.

That's really odd. We aren't having kids at our small wedding (and all friends etc were consulted before making the decision!)...

But inviting one and not the other...weird. She should've explained this to you. Don't approach her with all guns blazing, just ask her why.

YANBU, it's really rude! All or none!