To judge friend for one night stand

[RuaBeag]

I just want to emphasize that I do t usually make a habit of judging women for their sexual behavior.

Friend I grew up with is a midwife and always been man mad. She’s had to leave her DC and go live on hospital grounds due to risk to her older family members, during this time she met up with her recent ex and stayed at his a few times. The accommodation on the hospital grounds is awful, like a cell. So I put it down to this but still raised my concerns.

A local glam hotel has put them up now instead and she’s just told me she’s had a guy she met from tinder over to stay last night and also had the ex over a couple of times.

I’m so angry at how irresponsible she is (or is she?) her other friends and colleagues don’t seem to be raising an eyebrow.

I’ve also lost two non immediate family members to Covid19 so I may be projecting my anger. I wanted to get a more reasoned opinion.

(Also the hovel wasn’t her own home Incase you missed that, it was accommodation she was forced to sleep in)

This isn't like during the war,where people lived for the moment and thre caution to the wind in case a bomb dropped on them tomorrow

I bet that’s exactly what it’s like if you work in healthcare. You see your colleagues going down with it like flies and just think “You’re a long time dead”.

It’s your language OP. Man made, friend lives in a hovel now she’s move to a glam hotel. I think you’re jealous and that’s coming out as judgemental. The fact that you’ve talked behind her back with all your friends. It all adds up to a bit pretty picture.

I bet that’s exactly what it’s like if you work in healthcare. You see your colleagues going down with it like flies and just think “You’re a long time dead”.

Yep. This.

I didn’t talk behind her back to any friends @sharonascorona, why are you just making things up to prove some weird point?

She didn’t “live” in a hovel, she was forced stay in one (again, my reason for explaining this is that I could see initially the draw of going to her exes, to escape the place for a night) then outlining she got moved to a glam hotel was to explain that now she has her own nice peaceful space, cutting out the draw to escape to the exes.

You seem hellbent on literally making things up and I’m really not sure why?

You said ‘I’m so angry at how irresponsible she is (or is she?) her other friends and colleagues don’t seem to be raising an eyebrow.’ How would you know unless you’ve gossiped about her?

You think I gossiped to her other friends and colleagues? This just gets better and better 🤦🏽‍♀️

I know this from group chats we’ve all had on zoom where there was laughter and jokey jibes being made about it. Jeez Louise

Where she was present and the instigator of the chats may I add! Good grief, you seem to have a narrative to impress on people but I genuinely think you have the wrong thread.

Read the literal first line of my OP again, the rest is fantasy you’ve created and it’s strange.

I bet that’s exactly what it’s like if you work in healthcare. You see your colleagues going down with it like flies and just think “You’re a long time dead”.

No, she isn't just taking herself down, she risks taking dozens of innocent patients with her. Is that hard to grasp? Is it an excuse for her behaviour?

No, @Alsohuman.

Some professionals have integrity.

This woman doesn't.

I am appalled at the number of posters who are attacking the OP here and defending a woman who is clearly without moral scruples. And by that I don't mean the sex.

@RuaBeag Maybe you ought to post in the Coronovirus section.

If you want to shop her, do that.
You don't need keep defending yourself here.

I think people are overreacting to the "man mad" comment. It's basically just the adult equivalent of describing a teenager as "boy crazy". If the OP hadn't mentioned it, people would probably assume that the friend was using casual sex as a coping mechanism, rather than just behaving as she usually does.

With friends like these, give me enemies.

Well I’m glad the thread has given you food for thought anyway.

I doubt you’ll be telling your friend not to meet with people though. Not a great friendship if you can’t message/call her and say you don’t think she should be meeting people in the current situation.

I doubt you’ll be telling your friend not to meet with people though. Not a great friendship if you can’t message/call her and say you don’t think she should be meeting people in the current situation.

Just one example of how you grasp on to a piece of make believe and you run with it.

“I doubt you’ll...” then go on as if the former is fact. Utterly utterly bizarre, you are coming across like an actual fantasist.

So you will be telling her? Look forward to the update!

I bet that’s exactly what it’s like if you work in healthcare. You see your colleagues going down with it like flies and just think “You’re a long time dead”.

Or, you could be so angry at all the selfish people that carried on doing what the OP's friend (who should know better) has been doing that caused your fellow healthcare workers deaths that you absolutely would NOT do something so selfish and idiotic! Times of trauma bring out the best and worst in people.

If you deliberately do something that you know could cause the death of another person then you are selfish and deserve to be judged, frontline worker or not.

I already have

As I’ve already stated. And she said I’m just sensitive to the subject and OTT.

But not a word in all your posts about her reaction? Huh. So how did she react?

Must have missed that.

It's not the ONS; it's the breaking the norms of confinement and social distancing that I would judge.

Must have missed that.

There seems to be quite a bit you’ve missed. May I suggest ensuring you haven’t “missed bits” before being hellbent on vilifying someone in future.

Why do you consider being sex mad to be a bad thing @SharonasCorona?

I don’t see being man mad as a negative thing. My friend’s DD is horse mad. My auntie was gardening mad. It is something the OP’s friend enjoys and should be seen as that IMO. And I don’t think the OP is judging her for it either.

Because that would be a strange story. Friend inviting strangers back to hotel room to eat crisps

Indeed

I think people are overreacting to the "man mad" comment

I agree. SharonasCorona stop nitpicking . You are being a little over sensitive about this. Are you always this easily offended and irritating?

I can’t get round the hypocrisy of isolating from her family then meeting a casual hook up.

If we weren’t going through a pandemic then her having one night stands wouldn’t be a problem! It’s got nothing to do with being misogynistic because I for one couldn’t give a flying fuck if a woman has a one night stand in normal circumstances. But at the moment it’s just irresponsible and stupid, especially in the type of job she has! I know this sounds extreme but I actually hope someone reports her to her employer for not following social distancing rules because she’s putting mums and babies at risk.

YANBU. Not judging her on the sex aspects. I would feel the same if she was having the local vicar round for scrabble. She is being ridiculous inviting people back and it is completely against the reasons why the hospital and hotel are giving her accommodation at this time. I understand it is far from ideal being away from her kids but she is putting herself and a lot of others at risk here. Colleagues are likely thinking the same just not wanting to get involved rather than not batting an eyelid through acceptance.

Don't judge until you walk a mile in their shoes

Right. Well that’s that then. If we can’t judge her for. To complying with social distancing rules then we can’t judge anyone for it. In fact whats the point in any of us us bothering to do it all really?

Failing to comply