To think that 10 easter eggs per child from MIL is atrocious

[garlicbread82]

MIL has just dropped off 10 easter eggs each to my 3 DCs (we maintained social distancing, she left them at the end of the path).

Now dont get me wrong, I am greatful, but 10 each? Really? I think this is not only overzealous, it also undermines me. I have told her in previous years that one egg each is more than enough, and maybe a small gift, however she continues to undermine me in front of my DCs.

I have allowed my DCs to choose one egg each from the pile to go with the eggs they have already received, and the rest will be dropped off at the local food bank next week. DH thinks I am being unreasonable, and has gone upstairs in a huff Happy Easter hey?

AIBU?

Does she usually buy them those many or is this year an exception?
It may just be her way of expressing how much she is missing them?
I agree it's too much chocolate, but I would imagine she wasn't thinking about that, just how much she misses them.

So you get to decide she has to buy the kids shoes for Christmas.

You get to decide that she can’t buy more than one Easter egg. And a MUG! Oh, the humanity!

Now apparently you get to decide what your adult DH is allowed to eat.

Nah, you’re right. You’re not controlling at all. MIL is a devil woman and DH is her satanic spawn.

Yanbu

Fwiw when I was a child, we used to have 10-14 Easter eggs each and could eat as many as we wanted. Obviously there were other contributory factors but I developed bulimia. My parents had 13 siblings between them so every Easter we got 13 eggs from aunts and uncles, 2 from grandparents and 1 from parents. So 3 kids with 48 Easter eggs. None of us have developed bulimia or any other eating disorder.

kids would all have benefitted from new shoes, and perhaps a book each

Because that's what all grandmothers want to buy their children for xmas and what children want to receive you sound like a bit of a nightmare to be honest.

10?! That is an insane amount of chocolate for wee ones never mind from one person! Sounds like gentle reminders aren't working and a blunt conversation is called for with her. From your subsequent Christmas post also with the first thing bin bags of stuff sounds like this isn't anything to do with lockdown either.

Giving a gift can be a lovely, generous and thoughtful thing - but this excess sounds like it's edged into competitive territory and coming from a place of buying their affection rather than kindness. She also seems to be completely disinterested in any effect this has on undermining your gifts or plans as hers eclipses all else (assuming unless you have purchased 11 big eggs each - in which case you're all mental 😂!). Yes you could ration it out throughout the year but that's not really the point...

I would maybe try to intercept MILs future giftage before the children see it so you're not the 'mean' parent taking away 'kind' grans gifts... A food bank is a great idea, although I'd probably have let them pick 2 or 3 instead of 1 personally. Would also maybe create them a letter 'from' the food bank (as assuming they don't send anything and are rightfully busy feeding those in need) thanking them for their kindness and how many other children the Easter bunny couldn't get to through quarantine this would help. It might ease any resentment and make them feel really good about it.

Fwiw when I was a child, we used to have 10-14 Easter eggs each and could eat as many as we wanted. Obviously there were other contributory factors but I developed bulimia.

No offence but that’s ridiculous. Easter did not give you bulimia. 🙄

Why are so many of you pretending you would be fine with this?

"Please don't do X around my children"
"Fuck you I'll do it tenfold and make you look like the baddie as a bonus"

Apparently lots of you enjoy being flipped the middle digit

cocconuttelegraph, well, I hate chocolate, never eat it now so it worked for me.

This thread reminds me of Harry Potter - Dudley's birthday... he screamed the place down because he had only 37 presents and the previous year he'd had 38. He didn't even know what they were, hadn't opened them but, he could count.

His parents responded by telling him that they'd buy him another three to beat last year's...

Reminds me so much of so many posters here. Do what you like, I loved my Easters as a kid and my kids enjoy Easter now, they have plenty of chocolate and a few extras each but nothing like the problem gift that OP is referring to.

That's exactly my thinking, Wishimaywishimight. Maybe she drove a truck to carry all of them. I don't think it would fit normal sized car.

Not sure what to suggest with that, never had to deal with that sort of behaviour from my DH. Has he ever had to deal with you stealing your kids presents and giving them away? Might be an explanation.

wow, my kids get a lot at easter because my dh has a large immediate family, plus mine , and 1 egg each it all adds up etc but thats a crazy amount.

My mum-in-law was like you and DH had a very unhealthy attitude to food when I met him - eating once a day, not letting himself enjoy treats. It took him years to get over the issues.

The ones with the mugs aren’t big!!!! You’re exaggerating. I can’t believe you are more cross with this than the Christmas tat. Start asking fur half gift and half money to put in an isa for kids.

You should show your DH this thread.

His mother is providing the most horrible example of greed, gluttony, waste, excess, money-buying-love behaviour to her grandchildren - he should be embarrassed by her.

No wonder you feel the way you do about her - it would be really hard to both respect someone like this, or to feel that they really had your DC's best interests at heart.

Your DH needs to wise up and take a step back from his mother, give the message that she needs to think about what kind of granny she wants to be... before the DC grow up a bit and do it for him.

He's pissed off now? Wait a couple of years until he sees his kids automatically backing off from an over-the-top me me me granny who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing. Because they will.

My kids forget about chocolate almost as soon as it is given so I would just put it all away and have some every now and then. It'll last for months. Great!

10 eggs each from 1 person is excessive and I can't understand why other posters can't see that.

I don't think it does children any good to be showered with gifts like that.

I've quite liked the fact this year that my DC will only get a few bits each. It has got ridiculous in past years with them receiving eggs from all different family members.

Wait a couple of years until he sees his kids automatically backing off from an over-the-top me me me granny who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing. Because they will.

You don’t know this woman. You have no idea what she values.

You can get eggs here for €1. €30 isn’t that extravagant. You don’t know her motives.

What you do know is that OP is unilaterally deciding what they can and can’t have, and even what her DH can and can’t eat.

@AlwaysCheddar I probably would take up the idea about an ISA, but I would be referred to by some as "controlling" and a "killjoy" There is no pleasing some people.

I think YANBU about the eggs but the main issue here is MIL deliberately going against your request. She's showing she has no respect for the way you want to parent your children and I'd be livid about this.

Smash the eggs, put the chocolate in the freezer and melt it to make ricecrispies cakes during the rest of the year. Easter egg chocolate is gross anyway, the Nestle one we had earlier seemed to be mostly palm oil.

There is no pleasing some people. Takes one to know one.

I've never given my mil any 'rules' for her to break! Live and let live

10 eggs is ridiculous, agreed, but you should at least have had a conversation with your DH and your children about what to do with all of them rather than just dictate what happens to them.

This isn't really about Easter eggs anyway by the sounds of things. You just don't like your MIL.

About the big macs... my husband could easily scoff two or more and do it every day. He hasn't a weight problem and it's up to him what he eats BUT, he wouldn't do that in front of our children and I would be annoyed if he did - because I don't want our children to pick this up as a 'norm'. Thankfully, my husband feels the same.

It's not just about what we do - it's what we're telling our children - verbally and non-verbally - by how we deal with things and our acceptance of them.

Nobody said that MIL doesn't love her grandchildren, most grandparents do... but why does buying stuff equate to love? It doesn't and it's not healthy to think that it does - nor is it healthy to try to normalise by beating your fists and calling OP all the names under the sun.

OP is entitled to bring up her children as she wants to - if you have a problem with that then perhaps it's that you're getting a sneaky feeling that your own way isn't perhaps the right one? Do what you want... nobody cares.