To think that 10 easter eggs per child from MIL is atrocious

[garlicbread82]

MIL has just dropped off 10 easter eggs each to my 3 DCs (we maintained social distancing, she left them at the end of the path).

Now dont get me wrong, I am greatful, but 10 each? Really? I think this is not only overzealous, it also undermines me. I have told her in previous years that one egg each is more than enough, and maybe a small gift, however she continues to undermine me in front of my DCs.

I have allowed my DCs to choose one egg each from the pile to go with the eggs they have already received, and the rest will be dropped off at the local food bank next week. DH thinks I am being unreasonable, and has gone upstairs in a huff Happy Easter hey?

AIBU?

This thread has brought out all the MN Easter egg competitive underconsumption as expected but I guess they need something to get their panties in a bunch about in the time of deadly pandemic.

The issue clearly isn't the eggs, it's the whole behaviour of the MIL, that's what needs to be addressed.

My husband frequently binge eats, and thinks it is acceptable to have two Big Macs rather than one in front of the DCs (when they are allowed a McDonalds treat)

I don't understand this - why is it a treat for you children to eat something you don't approve of? Surely a treat is a good thing not an opportunity to do something bad.

I'd help them eat them because I love Easter egg chocolate! I'd also be annoyed if my dh decided, by himself, that something my mum or dad had given to our dc was wrong, they couldn't have it and he'd give them away instead. Yabu. Chocolate is chocolate and it doesn't go off. Ration it so it lasts a few weeks.

I don't see your problem with my pre-approved gift of shoes and a book...ffs hmm They received more than enough "fun" gifts from Santa. I am not controlling, but I am the mother here, and MIL isn't. She has had her time, and her spiteful behaviour is mirrored in DH's sulk this morning

Maybe MIL wanted to give fun gifts too? I don't think its spiteful of your DH to sulk, you're giving away gifts from his mother that aren't actually yours to give away.

I am not controlling, but I am the mother here, and MIL isn't. She has had her time, and her spiteful behaviour is mirrored in DH's sulk this morning If he their father? Is he is why do you get to make all the rules.

Hate to break it to you but you really are controlling. You are the one making an issue of this.

Based on the all the supermarkets here they'd be glad if shoppers were stockpiling Easter eggs, the shelves were groaning with them as late as yesterday morning, in the past couple of years I've noticed none left by Easter Saturday.

I think YABU to only let them have one each. But 30 eggs is just stupid.

Also think YABU to justify her visit to drop them off "maintaining social distancing"

It wasn't an essential journey. Ffs. Stay at home

How did she even carry 30 large eggs???

I completely get you OP and cannot understand PP saying that they think a delivery of 30 - 30!!!! - Easter eggs for 3 kids is normal.

It’s not a question of whether you can eek out 10 eggs per child over the next eleventy million months, of course you can. It is an issue of a pattern of behaviour of your MIL going to excess time and time again.

My DM is exactly the same and values volume of presents over anything else. She loves the kids eyes out on sticks at the enormity of her presents - often like your examples she gives tons and tons of tat that will never be used, or are too old for them, or too young for them. The kids of course love the spectacle of it but once the paper is torn off the gifts are not a good fit. I look at them and think a) where the fuck are we going to put all this stuff and b) almost counting the months before I’ll end up gathering them up unused to donate to the charity shop because the kids are not interested in them. It is such a waste - especially the money when she doesn’t have a lot of money.

It is deeply frustrating when you have been asked for ideas and you have given ideas but they are ignored.

In your situation I’d let each kid choose 4 each to keep and then donate the rest. I’d also be talking to MIL (in a much kinder and sensitive way that I actually feel) to say look they just don’t need that much chocolate, especially when they’re getting choc from other people too. I think a PP’s point about her crowing out other people is also an important one, but if your MIL is like my DM, that’s actually part of their intention, whether they’ll admit it or not.

*Crowding out not crowing out

Dear Lord the worthy virtue signalling on here is insane. Just thank her for the eggs, let your DCs gorge themselves today as it is officially Chocolate Day. Then ration them to your DCs over the next few weeks or months and eat some yourself or whatever. This really is such a non problem which the OP has turned into a pointless battle of wills resulting in an argument with her DH and a nasty atmosphere on a Bank Holiday weekend FFS.

This is far less about the actual quantity of Easter eggs and far more about the OPs need to be in the right and to score points over her MIL. I suspect this is just one of very many petty battles the OP picks with her MIL and I bet her DH is heartily sick to death of all of it.

That is more chocolate than a child should eat in 6 months

Oh nooo a grandmother who loves her grandchildren. Call the police its an outrage! 🙄 Some need to calm down with the SHE'S UNDERMINING MEEEE THE EVILLL OLD BATTTT. She's loving her grandchildren. 🙄🙄

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Oh don't worry they might get their knickers in a twist about it but we are SI as DH is mid 70s and vulnerable, so GS phones us at least once a week to check if I need anything from the shops and then walks round as part of his daily exercise, only five minutes away, to deliver anything or just stand on the drive to have a quick chat and check we are OK. I don't see any of my own kids, too far away, so he is the one taking on the responsibility which is great. He is also keeping up with his GCSE studies.

I suspect hat this thread when posted was less about the 10 eggs each - which is a little overboard - but about the MIL publicly and deliberately seeking to undermine the OP.

From reading your replies in this thread it’s got nothing to do with the Easter eggs you have a major problem with your mother in law and seem to want to cause a argument with her for any reason.
Yes 10 Easter eggs is a lot but grandparents do spoil their grandkids and she is probably missing them so much during lockdown. It’s up to you to control how much chocolate your child eats from the Easter eggs each day or week, giving them away I think sends wrong message to your kids as you are showing your dislike for their grandmothers gifts.
As for Christmas what grandparent wants to give shoes as gift???? Seriously she bought the bags of toys because she wanted to see their faces light up which they did but again in your thread you did not like them fawning over her
If a child has grandparents that want to
Spoil them they are so lucky, I grew up with one set of grandparents who didn’t see me from the age of 2 as they were not kid people they died before I was 20 so I never met them again, my other set of grandparents well one wasn’t nice but my grandmother was the purest soul who I wish I could have back in a heart beat but again taken too early. my son has one set as his other set died before he was even born. Let you children enjoy the moments they have with grandparents as believe me it doesn’t last forever.

Also you have failed at parenting lesson 1. When your kids get too much chocolate you take some away and eat it yourself when they are in bed

TimeAintNothing, well maybe look into it a bit further. Look at the way China treats its workers and their human rights. Look at the volume of waste plastics that the UK, Europe and the USA were shipping back to China for disposal (again, see workers 'treatment), up until National Sword banned it back in 2019.

Do you know what's happening to waste plastics now? It's a massive environmental problem. I visit sites routinely where this is being stockpiled - and children's toys make up a massive volume. It's a worldwide problem. Ignore it if you like but to suggest it's 'sneery' to not embrace plastic 'tat' is just ignorant.

But, you go right ahead and criticise the OP who is doing something differently to you. She absolutely should not be pilloried for her parenting - the only mistake is not to get her husband aligned so that MIL takes notice.

I agree with you. 30 is a ridiculous amount. I can picture her now with a black bin bag full of them. It’s excessive.
I would, however take into consideration my children’s feelings about donating the rest. Otherwise you’ll end up looking like the bad guy in their eyes too.
Your DH stropping upstairs to sulk? Pathetic! Not sure what to suggest with that, never had to deal with that sort of behaviour from my DH.

This isnt a one off in unprecedented times though is it?this is repeatedly pushing the boundaries and putting a big fuck you finger up to the family reality is no one needs that much chocolate my kids have a couple of eggs one off me one off my dad my mom sent cash their dad still hssnt dropped off their Christmas gifts so I wont hold my breath on that one

It's just chocolate for chocolate sake that's not healthy for anyone

How did MIL even manage to find 30 eggs? Selfish to buy so many. We couldn't find a single one for 3yo DD this week

YANBU these things are normally part of a longer term pattern of problematic behaviour rather than an indivudual, isolated event. 10x the eggs is not 10x the love. Children usually like the things they like, rather than vast quantities of stuff for the sake of stuff.

Less so this year because children aren't mixing with others as usual, but the numbers of chocolate eggs usually quickly mounts up from various sources. 10 from one person is bonkers, especially when multiplied by several children.

Some children don't appreciate large volumes of chocolate. We still have chocolate reindeer from Christmas, and knowing that the DCs aren't chocoholic, we don't buy much knowing that they will get more than enough accumulating from school, clubs, friends and family. Still chomping through Easter eggs months later loses the fun and novelty so it's not really the great gesture of love that it might appear to be at face value.

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Thank you! I completely agree, my issue with plastic tat is environmental, aswell as the fact that it simply causes more clutter for me and DH to clear up after DC's play.

I've seen so many posts this morning of babies. Under 1 year with 2/3 Easter eggs..
Why.

Mine weren’t even weaning yet. Was told we could just eat them despite husband not being keen on them and me not big on chocolate. He just took them to work and gave them to his chocolate-loving colleagues.

She dropped 30 Easter eggs to your door? 30!

Food is just food, it's not a treat. If you control it to that extent your kids will just binge eat when they get the opportunity. Two Big Macs is not binging.

And the massive eggs don't come in cups, so I think you're massively over exaggerating.