To think that 10 easter eggs per child from MIL is atrocious

[garlicbread82]

MIL has just dropped off 10 easter eggs each to my 3 DCs (we maintained social distancing, she left them at the end of the path).

Now dont get me wrong, I am greatful, but 10 each? Really? I think this is not only overzealous, it also undermines me. I have told her in previous years that one egg each is more than enough, and maybe a small gift, however she continues to undermine me in front of my DCs.

I have allowed my DCs to choose one egg each from the pile to go with the eggs they have already received, and the rest will be dropped off at the local food bank next week. DH thinks I am being unreasonable, and has gone upstairs in a huff Happy Easter hey?

AIBU?

The people I know who’s parents had a relaxed and healthy attitude to food have grown up with a relaxed and healthy one themselves. Give the children the eggs, laugh (gently) about how much chocolate there is and use the experience wisely. Perhaps the children could bake a cake for an elderly neighbour or even one for Granny to say thank you. Throwing a strop and having a row with your DH is not a great start to Easter.

This thread

Times are crazy difficult and everyone is struggling, yet OP would rather fall out with her husband and start a MIL bashing thread on MN than enjoy Easter Sunday with her family.

All over some Easter Eggs. Of which there is no 'right' number which should be given, they're a gift. Be grateful, hug your kids and put the spare eggs in the food bank or in the cupboard for baking or midnight munchies, who cares?

@MaybeNew I completely agree with that. I was brought up by vegetarian hippies who fed up brown rice and pasta and lentil and veg bake. Never allowed biscuits or sweets apart from a small amount at Easter and Xmas - as soon as I got my hands on my own money it's all I bought and for years after I left home I ate badly. I've taken a totally different approach with dc and always allowed anything along with an incredibly varied and healthy base diet and it's payed off. Neither is much of a fan of junk food, they like the occasional sweet or ice lolly but this year both asked for a new toy each rather than getting any chocolate eggs.

Matildathehun, WW2 has been ended for 80 years now and rationing was still happening in the 50s but wasn't still going on in the 60s which is over 60 years ago...

Genuine question, what is wrong with one egg and a gift from each person, including you & your dp? (Forgetting the treasure hunt stuff). Why did you all buy more than one egg per child?

Because I wanted to. Two of my DC are disabled, two of them are not disabled, they all have to deal with the various adjustments and limitations this brings so I like to treat them. They're living through a huge upheaval of no school, lockdown, not seeing friends and relatives, etc so I wanted them to have some excitement. As for FIL, auntie, and uncle, they're the only nieces/nephews/grandchildren on that side and they're missed, they do normally only get one each from them but they put extra in this year. My parents always buy them extra things like outfits because they can afford to and they want to.

In what way does it affect you?

The people I know who’s parents had a relaxed and healthy attitude to food have grown up with a relaxed and healthy one themselves

Same. In my experience the children who are taught that sweets/treats are "bad" tend to go nuts for them once they do get access.

OP I totally understand your reasoning and I dont think you are at all controlling. 10 easter eggs each is mental! And also i agree with your pre-approved christmas gifts!

We are already doing that with our baby and he is only 5 months old. His grandad (FIL) said oh I want to buy him an easter egg and I was like no a book or other gift would be better.

He will be able to have 1 egg when he is old enough. Until then people can buy him a suggested gift or money. We dont want to have a load of plastic tat and we dont want him to have too much chocolate.

I totally agree with your parenting decision. Thankfully my DH is on board with this as well. It's so much easier parenting when both are on the same page. Good luck with your DH! I think your actual problem is with him more than your MIL.

Matildathehun, WW2 has been ended for 80 years now and rationing was still happening in the 50s but wasn't still going on in the 60s which is over 60 years ago..

Not sure what point you're trying to make @LyingWitchInTheWardrobe ???

My dad was born in 1943 so for most of his early childhood she was unable to "spoil" him as she would have liked. By the time myself and other grandchildren came along in the mid 70's she was in a much better position and was able to spoil us.

The four of us "grandchildren" are now all in our mid/late 40's.

Because I wanted to. Two of my DC are disabled, two of them are not disabled, they all have to deal with the various adjustments and limitations this brings so I like to treat them. They're living through a huge upheaval of no school, lockdown, not seeing friends and relatives, etc so I wanted them to have some excitement. As for FIL, auntie, and uncle, they're the only nieces/nephews/grandchildren on that side and they're missed, they do normally only get one each from them but they put extra in this year. My parents always buy them extra things like outfits because they can afford to and they want to.

In what way does it affect you?

It adds to a consumerist and materialist society that I have to live in. The recent food shortages should have taught pet that we don't need so much STUFF.

If excess makes your family happy, crack on, but I prefer experiences

One egg from each person is enough, anything else is excess imo.

I couldn't get any Easter eggs for my children this year, luckily their dgm had left some bits with us before the lockdown so they have something today. I'll try and get some on the sale this week at the big supermarket this week but given the small posts showing large amounts being donated to the hospitals etc I think itll be doubtful there are any around

Nah I don’t believe there were thirty eggs. Probably too many but not thirty.

I lost all sympathy for the OP with the Christmas shoes comments.

I just saw someone on Insta who has two small boys. They took a photo of them with results of their Easter egg hunt. There are 25 large boxed eggs and at least thirty smaller ones and multiple bags of mini eggs. Utter madness 😂

If excess makes your family happy, crack on, but I prefer experiences

What experiences are available for kids at the moment?

Just because children get a couple more eggs than you deem acceptable does not mean that in normal circumstances they're not having the experiences too. And so, in place of those experiences right now extended family, who are missing their grandchildren/nieces/nephews may well have bought an extra Easter egg or two this year.

It adds to a consumerist and materialist society that I have to live in. The recent food shortages should have taught pet that we don't need so much STUFF. If excess makes your family happy, crack on, but I prefer experiences. One egg from each person is enough, anything else is excess imo.

Oh do bore off.

Not read whole thread but as far as I see it, you can either:

a see it as a kind gesture, no problem with giving some to foodbank but why don't you use some to bake with as others have suggested and take the baking to MIL with your kids as a kind gesture of your own

b. deliberately see it as her being a PITA

Which one of those options has a nicer ending basically....?

Also I don't think you should be saying the eggs are 'grotesque' - sounds as though you have issues around 'bad' foods and that will wash off on your kids.

PS correct me if I'm wrong people but aren't the actual eggs the exact same size in both the 'basic' version where you get the egg and one choc bar, and the large version where you get the egg plus a mug or several choc bars. I thought the shell bit stayed the same size no matter how much you spend. No?

Yanbu op. 10 eggs each is grotesque and quite unbelievable. I don't blame you for being irritated with your mil and your sulky husband.

I think for me there is more excess in people buying a heap of other gifts instead of eggs. Easter Day for us secular folk is surely just a choc-fest with chicks and bunnies thrown in not a mini-Christmas. But each to their own.

It adds to a consumerist and materialist society that I have to live in.

I think this is the most pompous thing I've ever read on Mumsnet!

30 eggs from one person is rather grotesque - especially as they’ll have eggs from other people too. This smacks of trying to buy love and outdo everyone else - including parents and other grandparents. She’s trying to make it all about her. I can absolutely see why you’re unhappy OP.

I really do think that you have to be careful with this attitude you seem to have towards your mil.
I also think 10 eggs each is a lot, but in the grand scheme of things, is it really worth getting so so angry over?

You remind me of my own mum a lot. I can still recall countless Christmas’s, birthdays etc. where my mum was silently seething - verbally quit, but unverbally being extremely loud in bodylanguage - because of something her pil did. She felt disrespected and undermined at the slightest things. Everything was a powerstruggle to her.
Her way was the only right way and everybody else who didn’t agree with her or strictly obeyed her was to be treated as the enemy.
So very spiteful and mean. I have read comments on here where you say things that could have literally been said by her 40 years ago.
Sadly, she never changed. When her pil died she found some one else to be angry with all the time. In the end she chased away most of my aunts and uncles. This behavior has caused me so much sadness in my live.

Please don’t go down this road. There will always be people you don’t see eye to eye with. Try not to react so harshly towards situations like this. Please try to find a way to deal with situations like this that work for your whole family, not just for you. Don’t do it for your mil, but for yourself, your dh and dc.

I reckon you should complain the number was too low That'll throw her for a loop.

I agree about the eggs - way too many, however, asking her to buy her grandchildren shoes and maybe a book for Christmas is definitely a step too far.

His grandad (FIL) said oh I want to buy him an easter egg and I was like no a book or other gift would be better.
Well he's 5 months, pre weaning age so it's a totally different scenario. Of course a5 month old baby shouldn't have chocolate

And also i agree with your pre-approved christmas gifts! We are already doing that with our baby and he is only 5 months old. Christmas and birthdays are about joy and surprises. Not a pair of shoes and a book off each person becasue only Mommy can buy fun things incase the children like other people's gifts more, which is the feeling I get from op.

am the mother here, and MIL isn't. She has had her time

Ah you're one of those parents. Says it all.

This would piss me off too OP. Can't believe the amount of parents on here who would happily let their children scoff 30 eggs! Also, even if you do ration them and eek them out over the next few months, that means there's a permanent supply of chocolate happening! In my view, chocolate is a treat and not for everyday. I don't care if that's labelled "killjoy", it's about everything in moderation and modelling to children how to look after one's health.