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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that 10 easter eggs per child from MIL is atrocious

606 replies

garlicbread82 · 12/04/2020 09:27

MIL has just dropped off 10 easter eggs each to my 3 DCs (we maintained social distancing, she left them at the end of the path).

Now dont get me wrong, I am greatful, but 10 each? Really? I think this is not only overzealous, it also undermines me. I have told her in previous years that one egg each is more than enough, and maybe a small gift, however she continues to undermine me in front of my DCs.

I have allowed my DCs to choose one egg each from the pile to go with the eggs they have already received, and the rest will be dropped off at the local food bank next week. DH thinks I am being unreasonable, and has gone upstairs in a huff Hmm Happy Easter hey?

AIBU?

OP posts:
5H1T · 12/04/2020 11:51

I think you are exaggerating. 10 huge eggs each for 3 children = 30 huge chocolate eggs? No way. If it's really true, your mil is bonkers.

I thought you were going to say "photos, or it didn't happen". Ne er mind, maybe someone else will.

😏

peaceanddove · 12/04/2020 11:52

"I don't see any problem with my pre-approved list of shoes and books"

I get that you don't OP and that's what makes this so sad. Christmas should be about fun, unnecessary stuff and a few indulgences.

VodselForDinner · 12/04/2020 11:53

Your poor husband. It sounds like he grew up in a house where his mother unilaterally set rules and nobody else was allowed to do anything outside of her arbitrary boundaries.

And then he married a version of her.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 12/04/2020 11:53

peaceanddove, perhaps you live close by the OP and could arrange a surreptitious drive-by flinging of some chocolate eggs from her car to yours? I'm sure she'd forgive you for saying her traits were unpleasant if she could offload some onto you. :)

CoffeeIsMyOnlyJoy · 12/04/2020 11:54

Not a clue where I'd store 30 easter eggs

1forsorrow · 12/04/2020 11:54

Why? They don’t need 10 Easter Eggs plus the extra stuff included. She’s not taking them all away, she’s letting them keep a few. I’d agree if she wasn’t letting them keep any of them and just gave them to charity, but she’s not. They are still getting gifts from MIL. Are you OK with one of us coming round and checking if we think you have too much stuff? We would donate all excess to an appropriate charity. We will let you keep a few things. When shall we arrange it then.

Maybe we could offer the same service to the OP. I mean it is fine for people to just confiscate stuff that belongs to you.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 12/04/2020 11:56

Maybe we could offer the same service to the OP. I mean it is fine for people to just confiscate stuff that belongs to you

As well as check that any gifts she has received were necessities and were pre approved as such.

peaceanddove · 12/04/2020 11:56

Excellent plan LyingWitchInTheWardrobe. I will make sure to drive by especially slowly to maximise her ability to lob the eggs through the car window I might even do a few laps

BeetrootRocks · 12/04/2020 11:58

10 each!

That's ridiculous

magicfarawaytrees · 12/04/2020 11:58

I’d be so annoyed with my husband if he took my mum’s gifts to the food bank. In fact I’d storm off upstairs too.

Yes it’s ridiculous and totally over the top. But what harm is it doing really? Ration them out, have some yourself, bake with them. She’s probably missing them like mad and just happy she could do something to make them smile. If she’s undermining you then you have bigger issues but don’t piss on your kid’s chips.

You could swap with my mother in law who has never so much as met our two youngest even though she could have had the opportunity on numerous occasions? Yet at one point on Facebook she was pretending she was grandma if the year. This is the same woman who still finds ways to make up fresh rubbish about me and blame me for the very poor relationship she has with her son even though I have refused to speak or engage with her for the past 8 years. Honestly enjoy the fact she at least cares about her grandchildren, it could be much worse.

Fruitsaladjelly · 12/04/2020 11:58

Totally ridiculous and rude of her. 10 eggs not only doesn’t respect your request for moderation but also seeks to overshadow your own Easter giving. Poor form from her. Same with christmas, there shouldn’t be an attempt to out do you.

TimeAintNothing · 12/04/2020 11:58

Why are so many of you pretending you would be fine with this?

I don't tend to overthink gifts to the point that I consider them a personal insult...

AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter · 12/04/2020 11:58

Are you OK with one of us coming round and checking if we think you have too much stuff? We would donate all excess to an appropriate charity. We will let you keep a few things. When shall we arrange it then

Firstly- OP is an adult, not a child. Adults are meant to model behaviour for kids, not just allow them whatever they want. By that rationale, you'd raise a bunch of spoilt brats who couldn't handle life saying no to them.

Secondly- the OP has every RIGHT to bring her kids up in the way she sees fit. Her MIL brought her son up in the manner she wanted to and now its the OP's turn. If OP doesnt want them having that many, its her choice to say no.

Thirdly- are you suggesting the MIL just ignore the OP when it comes to her own kids? maybe your in laws should start telling you how to bring up your kids then since you're so keen on the idea? I'm sure you'd take kindly to other people telling you how to raise your own kids eh?

peaceanddove · 12/04/2020 11:59

"Not a clue where I'd store 30 Easter eggs"

Amateur! Amateur! You give the DCs a few each. Then store the rest in the boot of your car for you to snack on at your leisure whilst gas lighting your DCs into believing that MIL didn't give them nearly so many eggs as they thought. Easy Smile

SleepingStandingUp · 12/04/2020 11:59

Just us - thank goodness! No MIL grin
Well ltgis is it, isn't it. It isn't about the eggs, or about doing something generous. It's about spitting MIL and doing something to get one over her.

the kids would all have benefitted from new shoes, and perhaps a book each. those are essentials that parents should provide. If you can't afford to provide them, then perhaps a more Frank discussion with your MIL would help.

I silently seethed as DCs fawned over her you just sound jealous they love her too and not just you

OhCaptain · 12/04/2020 12:00

Why are so many of you pretending you would be fine with this?

I’m not pretending. 🤷🏻‍♀️

TimeAintNothing · 12/04/2020 12:00

Her MIL brought her son up in the manner she wanted to and now its the OP's turn. If OP doesnt want them having that many, its her choice to say no

It is OP and their father's turn and it is up to the OP and their father to say no. Father obviously does not agree with the OP's plan to donate 90% of the eggs, it is not okay for the OP to overrule him without even discussing it.

AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter · 12/04/2020 12:01

Yes, then its to be discussed between the OP and her H.
The MIL's opinion is irrelevant here isn't it?

TimeAintNothing · 12/04/2020 12:03

the kids would all have benefitted from new shoes

Unless they are fancy shoes that have been specifically asked for, like my youngest brother asking for Yeezy's, then they are not a gift. They are a necessity and should be provided by the parents. No child ever unwrapped a Clark's box and gushed "wow, thanks for the brogues!"

spacepoppers · 12/04/2020 12:03

Urgh, that is an insane amount. How could she possibly justify that amount of eggs? Not to mention the ridiculous amount of waste cardboard and plastic.

ILoveYou3000 · 12/04/2020 12:04

Yes, then its to be discussed between the OP and her H.
The MIL's opinion is irrelevant here isn't it?

But OP hasn't discussed it with her husband and we don't know that he didn't ok the eggs with his mum.

What we do know is OP decided unilaterally to only allow her children one egg each. Again I'll ask why does OP get to overrule her husband when it comes to their children?

omtotheg · 12/04/2020 12:05

Why not let the children pick one put the rest in the cupboard say nothing and then donate them next week the children will have forgotten as will your husband.

It is a ridiculous amount totally unnecessary she would have been far better off getting them a small egg and putting £10 in their bank accounts.

I get your frustration but then it's only eggs there's bigger problems out there right now and at least she cares enough to get them any Easter gift.

ilikemethewayiam · 12/04/2020 12:05

Agree, let them keep say 3, then donate the rest. 10 is ridiculous! Donating them to a women’s refuge or food bank is a lovely idea. BTW, your DH is behaving like a petulant man child. He needs to give his head a wobble.

DeadButDelicious · 12/04/2020 12:05

My DD received 4 Easter eggs (1 from us, 1 each from grandparents and her uncle) and I'm planning on keeping them for baking etc. I'll be set for chocolate chips for ages 👍🏻.

I agree that 10 is excessive (where are you going to put 30 Easter eggs!?!) and not knowing your past relationship with your MIL it's not for me to say that she was simply overcompensating or as you say undermining you. Donating some and letting them keep a few seems reasonable.

AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter · 12/04/2020 12:05

What we do know is OP decided unilaterally to only allow her children one egg each. Again I'll ask why does OP get to overrule her husband when it comes to their children

That begs the question- why does the H get to overrule the OP?
that goes both ways, not just one

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