To think that 10 easter eggs per child from MIL is atrocious

[garlicbread82]

MIL has just dropped off 10 easter eggs each to my 3 DCs (we maintained social distancing, she left them at the end of the path).

Now dont get me wrong, I am greatful, but 10 each? Really? I think this is not only overzealous, it also undermines me. I have told her in previous years that one egg each is more than enough, and maybe a small gift, however she continues to undermine me in front of my DCs.

I have allowed my DCs to choose one egg each from the pile to go with the eggs they have already received, and the rest will be dropped off at the local food bank next week. DH thinks I am being unreasonable, and has gone upstairs in a huff Happy Easter hey?

AIBU?

I wouldn't get worked up about it, perhaps she does it for your reaction as much as theirs. Even if you don't openly react perhaps she senses the fact you are seething.

My MIL used to do this. She would always give my son his body weight in chocolate. Because he’s always been overloaded with chocolate he isn’t that bothered about it. He still has some Christmas chocolate left.

MIL recently died. I miss her because she was devoted to my boy and my own parents couldn’t give a flying fuck.

And yes, my teenage son has great teeth and no fillings.

So, OP - talk to your DCs, pick out the ones they really want to keep and eat, then deliver the rest to a foodbank so that the eggs don’t go to waste.

I don't think they're petty, and nor does the OP. And it's not up to MiL to decide. If she'd given one or two eggs it would have been fine, but MiL decided to create an issue by going so over the top. She wouldn't get any more pleasure from giving ten eggs each rather than just two or three. She's being ridiculous and she's the one creating drama.

What is wrong with giving one egg?

Why does everything have to be done to such excess? Has the regeneration of the planet and nature during this lockdown not shown some people anything?

Has the isolation not shown people what is really important? And that all the excess is not it?

Everyone expressing horror that the op has only let the DC keep one egg, it's one egg from mil. She said they have eggs from op and other people, which could easily add up to 10 eggs already, without mils excessive contribution.

What kid needs possibly 20 eggs?

My mil is a 💩head she doesn’t buy my dd an Easter egg. Doesn’t even send her a birthday card.🧙‍♀️

We have 1 big egg per child. However, we also have a whole load of little eggs of different sorts, for Easter egg hunts in the garden. (as we can't take them out for this kind of thing).

I'd love to see a photo of all these eggs too OP.

Lol they can't all be large eggs if some are in mugs? Anyway if you divide them between the 5 of you it's only 6 each
Yesterday Sainsbury's were selling 2 for 1 or half price. Too much stock so maybe MIL thought she'd buy what she could. Also they are all hollow, not much more than a bar. Lastly, don't say 'she had her chance' or similar, grandchildren are completely different from children, let her have her fun and smile sweetly. Let your dh have the say where his parents are concerned. Your children will be fine, if they have hang-ups about food in the future it won't be because one year grandma bought 30 eggs! Use it as a fun story to tell!

I agree, 10 large Easter Eggs for each child, with various tat due to the 'sets', is too much, especially when she's been told not to do it. It's deliberately undermining. And it puts the burden on you to be the bad guy and be realistic about how much chocolate your children should be getting in a go, especially since your DH won't be.

Showing up with the garbage bags full of plastic tat 'presents' at christmas is also undermining and thumbing her nose at your request not to do that. It also puts the burden on you to be the bad guy, since your DH clearly lacks a backbone to deal with his mother.

At the same time, you seem too controlling, too, OP. I do understand it ... a book and some shoes for Christmas? Why nice to take the pressure off of you financially to ask for these things, grandparents also want to give something to their grandchildren that they'll love and want to enjoy and play with. you've saved all those ideas for yourself in this scenario ... rather unkind. Why don't you buy the books and some shoes and ask your MIL to buy them each a 'fun' present that you would have bought then? Hmmmm .... thought not.

You're not wrong about today, but you're not entirely right over all either. And your DH needs to give his head a wobble, too, about allowing his mother to ignore everything you ask. But you need to be reasonable in those requests, too.

I would share them out between the five of you, so you all get six eggs each.

It is excessive though, we buy DC eggs (budget £10.00 each) and both sets of GP's give the DC £10.00 each in lieu of an egg which they are happy with as they get to buy something next time we are out shopping (usually Lego or clothing).

A) food banks need more important things than Easter eggs.

B) put them away and use them up over the next few weeks.

C) your MIL is the woman who gave birth to your husband, don’t be mean. There are more important things to complain about.

I was under the impression that the children had two parents who are bringing up the children

Well this thread proves how wrong you are doesn't it.
Only Grandma is allowed to control things and if that goes against what she has been told by one of the ACTUAL parents then good for her!
Well done grandma for proving that mum is to be ignored totally.

Perfect control, perfectly executed, perfectly reasonable fuck you
from the MIL, perfect response from DH, MIL KNEW this would be the result. She KNEW Mum would be the enemy, that's likely why she did it.

Howzat for well practiced, totally selfish, control freak behaviour

"MIL turned up with a huge bag of plastic tat on Xmas morning...............I sat and silently seethed while the DCs fawned over her"

"We're having a special family meal later (but without MIL thank God)"

You have some rather unpleasant traits OP, your posts make you sound spiteful and resentful. I'm sure you congratulate yourself each time you 'win' one of these pointless battles but be very careful you don't end up losing the war. You might find your DH gets sick to death of all this hassle and point scoring and starts to wonder what life would be like with a woman who is more warm hearted and easy going.

10 Easter eggs each is insane. Consumerism gone mad. Why has the UK has become so materialistic? people love to buy children lots of low quality food and toys “because they like it”. Quantity over quality. I do not see what is wrong with a book and a pair of shoes!

It's not great but it doesn't really matter. It probably brings her joy and and your kids must love it so I wouldn't spoil their fun.

I let dc eat as much chocolate as they want on Easter Sunday, the rest of the time it's rationed and by about Wednesday some will disappear to the food bank and the rest will be given out in very small amounts as an occasional treat. I'm quite fussy about what they eat tbh so back to their normal, healthy diet. But even I think everything in moderation and as long as they're not eating like that for weeks on end it won't hurt them.

Me and my sister used to get loads of eggs from different relatives. We maybe ate 4 or 5 and the rest we melted down to make cornflake cakes.

You could do some baking with some of them, so that fills up some of the children’s time too?

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe I feel the same regarding the Big Macs. It isn't my husband's binge-eating (that is his issue to deal with) but it is obvious where his issues stem from MIL is excessive in every way, and does not understand boundaries or self-restraint.

2 big macs is excessive, that's nearly half a mans daily calorie intake

It's ok to eat excessively occasionally - as long as main diet is balanced and health 2 Big Macs once in 6 months won't hurt anyone, brighter will eating too much chocolate one day a year. Imposing restrictions and being uptight - that's what causes most food related issues

Laughalot and OhCaptain, I thought that went without saying but, obviously a useful point to make a fatuous one. OP's husband isn't on the thread, presumably. He's drumming his heels furiously on the floor or sulking in bed or some other useful thing.

Parenting with the OP seems to be 'opt in'.

If you are in a power battle with your mil, don't give her the reaction she wants and maybe she'll stop.

Only Grandma is allowed to control things and if that goes against what she has been told by one of the ACTUAL parents then good for her!

Yeah but that ACTUAL parent isn’t even taking the wishes of the other ACTUAL parent into consideration when she’s making these controlling decisions, is she?

If she really turned up with 30 large Easter eggs (which I don’t believe anyway) then it is probably in response to your obvious dislike of her and attempt to control what she buys her grandchildren.

10 eggs each from 1 person is ridiculous op. But I would just have quietly given half away and not mentioned it to the kids or DH. No need for a row and the kids will surely never notice!

What you do know is that OP is unilaterally deciding what they can and can’t have,

She's their mother.

@peaceanddove So if DH had an affair then that would be my fault, simply because I don't want DC's binge-eating chocolate? Ffs... there's always one.

garlicbread82, I think some posters (peaceanddove) might be lining themselves up for your role as wife... I think they have a spendthift MIL and enabling DH in their sights...