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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Trying not be upset but I am. Neighbour burning garden waste.

91 replies

upsetwithneighbour · 11/04/2020 22:37

We're pretty sure I have coronavirus. On week 3. Started to see improvement and my fever finally broke a couple of days ago and my asthma nurse was happy to see improvement.

Fast forward to last night. My neighbours were burning garden waste in their incincerator and my chest feels like it's being crushed again, I'm coughing more, my temp has gone back up (though not as high as it was thankfully) and I'm generally upset and pissed off and was in tears last night because I felt so shit again. My head feels like I've been hit over it with a brick and my sore throat is back with swollen glands. Hayfever has kicked in too.

I feel torn and like maybe I am because normally it doesn't bother me, generally they're great neighbours though we don't particularly talk to them or know them (which is why we haven't approached them as my DP would have to deal with it and he can't guarantee he won't lose his shit because he's been really worried with how ill I've been as it was touch and go as to whether I'd need to go into hospital a few nights ago) and they have every right to do what they want in their garden.

But I'm really fucking upset that they aren't being more considerate (it's the second or third time they've burnt garden waste since I became ill as they recently removed their decking, I'm not entirely sure as everything has been blurring into one). Closing the window didn't help because it had already got into the house and had hit my chest. I really don't want to end up in hospital because if we're wrong and it's not that, I'll be exposing myself to further risk of getting it.

First time posting in AIBU. Lay it on me. Sad

OP posts:
MiniCooperLover · 11/04/2020 22:39

So they are or aren't aware of how poorly you've been/are?

TitianaTitsling · 11/04/2020 22:40

Do they know you are unwell?

WorraLiberty · 11/04/2020 22:40

Tell your DP to stop making excuses and have a polite word with them.

They'll have no idea how badly it's affecting you.

CovidCanFKcuOFF · 11/04/2020 22:40

Call 101 and get police round there.

In major heatwave I had about 12 smokers smoking almost directly under my living room window and we have 30 ft gardens. I called 101 and they said they would get someone round if they could within 10 mins police came to have a '' chat ''.

It's disgusting and someone is having a bonfire on my head road right now. I'm furious. All windows shut... House stinks... So fucking selfish. Dc has asthma...

CovidCanFKcuOFF · 11/04/2020 22:41
  • I had very sick child at the time in heat wave..
WorraLiberty · 11/04/2020 22:42

Call 101 and get police round there.

Yes because they don't have enough to do right now, so would welcome the chance to speak to someone's neighbour for them, rather than the neighbour actually speaking for themselves.

upsetwithneighbour · 11/04/2020 22:42

I don't know. I have posted about it on our local neighbourhood support group but that doesn't mean they know about it. We haven't said anything directly because of self-isolating with the symptoms so it doesn't get passed on.

OP posts:
user1473878824 · 11/04/2020 22:43

If my neighbours popped a note through the door to explain they had Coronavirus and could I stop burning waste I would be absolutely mortified and guilty. Let them know!

MereDintofPandiculation · 11/04/2020 22:47

and they have every right to do what they want in their garden. Many Councils have asked people not to have bonfires, you may also be in a clean-air zone where bonfires are not allowed - these were set up in the 50s and are largely ignored, but the legislation is still thee. So if you check on these, it might give a little more backbone to your argument, and make you both feel more confident about tackling neighbours. But start by assuming they have no idea how it is affecting you. Most people are decent, and you usually get a better result by treating them as decent people until you have proof to the contrary.

Runbitchrun · 11/04/2020 22:50

I don’t understand why you haven’t popped a note through their door to explain how ill you are and how it’s affecting you. If they still continued, then YWNBU to be really upset at them.

HughGrantsHair · 11/04/2020 22:53

My local council and local police force have told people not to burn household waste for this very reason. If you're all self isolating and don't want to leave the house I'd ring 101.

Pineapple1 · 11/04/2020 22:54

Go... And... Tell... Them....

Girlattheback · 11/04/2020 22:54

The local household recycling centres are closed which is causing a knock on nuisance problem with bonfires. You are absolutely not being unreasonable.

We’ve had bonfires locally every evening this week - It’s really flaring for asthma and I can’t imagine how horrible it would be if you have Coronavirus! I hope you’re okay?

I just wrote to my MP about it today. I think the government should ban them for the time being.

If it’s decking they are burning then it is illegal to burn household waste so you can call the police.

cate16 · 11/04/2020 22:55

We've had an email this evening from local government saying no bonfires during covid-19.

Sushiroller · 11/04/2020 22:57

Pop a note through their door - job done

Ps.hope you feel better soon Flowers

Horehound · 11/04/2020 22:57

They aren't mind readers! You just assume they might know or that your partner might lose his shit so therefore won't say?
What a load of bollocks.
Tell him to go round ask ask politely since you're Ill. It's not hard ConfusedHmm

pickingdaisies · 11/04/2020 22:58

Hoping you've told them now. Or you can both just stay in and be upset, rather than actually go and do something about it. Presumably they are being thoughtless numpties rather than evil.

WorraLiberty · 11/04/2020 22:59

Local councils are asking people not to have bonfires at the moment and police have said they'll fine persistent offenders.

I can't believe you haven't popped a note through their door.

billy1966 · 11/04/2020 22:59

OP, I realise from living on a completely parallel universe that people light fires in their back gardens on MN...

The other genuine parallel part is that despite living for 20 years in my urban home i have never come across this...really!

Frankly who are these people?
I would expect the police to be around so quickly and i would expect my neighbours to go absolutely bonkers if it was to happen.

Is this really normal.
Please contact the police.
Air quality is a huge issue for respiratory patients.
Flowers

Twofurrycatsagain · 11/04/2020 23:01

Get your DP to put a note through the letter box. My usually sensible next door neighbour had a BBQ at the beginning of lockdown in a tiny backyard and then (I thought) burnt stuff on the BBQ to keep warm and sit round drinking. It stank my house out and I spent a good while searching round the house thinking we had a fire until I realised. I let it go but then they did it again on Thursday. It turns out they have a gas BBQ and are also burning random rubbish in a bin against my kitchen wall. They were politely asked to desist - from a distance.

WorraLiberty · 11/04/2020 23:03

No wonder the police are so overstretched with so many people advising the OP to contact them instead of contacting her "generally great neighbours".

Notdonna · 11/04/2020 23:03

please pop a polite note through their door.

TwiggetyTwig · 11/04/2020 23:05

She's got coronavirus, she can't "pop a note" through anyone's door and neither should anyone she lives with!

Snowglobes · 11/04/2020 23:05

You are being unreasonable to expect your neighbours to know without telling them.

HughGrantsHair · 11/04/2020 23:06

I'd be pretty annoyed if I had a note put through my door from a household who has suspected Covid 19.

Is that really wise?