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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Trying not be upset but I am. Neighbour burning garden waste.

91 replies

upsetwithneighbour · 11/04/2020 22:37

We're pretty sure I have coronavirus. On week 3. Started to see improvement and my fever finally broke a couple of days ago and my asthma nurse was happy to see improvement.

Fast forward to last night. My neighbours were burning garden waste in their incincerator and my chest feels like it's being crushed again, I'm coughing more, my temp has gone back up (though not as high as it was thankfully) and I'm generally upset and pissed off and was in tears last night because I felt so shit again. My head feels like I've been hit over it with a brick and my sore throat is back with swollen glands. Hayfever has kicked in too.

I feel torn and like maybe I am because normally it doesn't bother me, generally they're great neighbours though we don't particularly talk to them or know them (which is why we haven't approached them as my DP would have to deal with it and he can't guarantee he won't lose his shit because he's been really worried with how ill I've been as it was touch and go as to whether I'd need to go into hospital a few nights ago) and they have every right to do what they want in their garden.

But I'm really fucking upset that they aren't being more considerate (it's the second or third time they've burnt garden waste since I became ill as they recently removed their decking, I'm not entirely sure as everything has been blurring into one). Closing the window didn't help because it had already got into the house and had hit my chest. I really don't want to end up in hospital because if we're wrong and it's not that, I'll be exposing myself to further risk of getting it.

First time posting in AIBU. Lay it on me. Sad

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 11/04/2020 23:09

She's got coronavirus, she can't "pop a note" through anyone's door and neither should anyone she lives with!

Fair point actually.

The DP needs to knock and stand back 2 metres.

TrainspottingWelsh · 11/04/2020 23:12

Yanbu to explain and ask them not to. Yabu to expect them to be psychic about the fact you're ill. And your dh is bu if he thinks he might have difficulty controlling himself in a normal conversation because he's been worried about you.

Also a general ffs to those suggesting calling the police.

WhatTiggersDoBest · 11/04/2020 23:14

What @TwiggetyTwig said.
They're supposed to all self isolate if she has CV symptoms, which is different to social distancing.

Notdonna · 11/04/2020 23:14

The husband can go knock on their door & stand two metres back and explain. The asthma nurse (who is visiting) could go tell them.

WhatTiggersDoBest · 11/04/2020 23:15

OP can you phone them or contact them online at all? You're doing the right thing by staying home and so is your DH.

Notdonna · 11/04/2020 23:16

Do they have a phone?

Isithometimeyet0987 · 11/04/2020 23:21

Well op tbh you have two options really, tell them (text message, Facebook, you partner could knock and stand back) or sit in your house and get upset and cross.

canigooutyet · 11/04/2020 23:21

Surely if you are that friendly with the neighbours you have some other means of getting in contact, direct or not.

On another note, locally we seemed to have the memo about banning fires. We are advised against doing it, not actually prevented.

Destroyer · 11/04/2020 23:21

YANBU

Everybody seems to be burning garden waste round here. There’s another fire every night.

canigooutyet · 11/04/2020 23:21

Missed the memo *

Yellowcakestand · 11/04/2020 23:24

Yup. A house at the back of me has had 5 garden bonfires in 2 weeks. It really bothers me but it doesn't directly back onto my garden, I don't know which number it is as the gardens are side on and it's quite a few away but whatever they burn stinks my house out.
As others have said, local police have advised no fires, check that out. Hope you get better soon

Notcontent · 11/04/2020 23:29

Is it even legal to do that? Burning of waste creates high levels of pollution and particles which are highly damaging to lungs. I live in London and I am pretty sure it’s illegal here.

ErrolTheDragon · 11/04/2020 23:30
  • The other genuine parallel part is that despite living for 20 years in my urban home i have never come across this...really!

Frankly who are these people?*

They're presumably people who'd normally put stuff in a brown bin that's not being collected now, or who'd take excess garden waste to the tip which is closed. That's why people are having bonfires now - if they're somehow oblivious to how antisocial it is, especially if anyone in their neighbourhood has CV (or other breathing problems)

Hope you can get it resolved, OP and that you can get back on track to recovery.

mummytippy · 11/04/2020 23:38

As far as I know, all councils are managing their waste amounts okay at the moment so there is absolutely no need to be burning garden waste.
Even a company is not permitted to burn waste in an industrial area, I learned this as the company I work for was reported to environmental health. If your neighbours know your situation they should respect your circumstances. The closest you can get to going out is opening your window and at the moment it's been very warm so I completely understand you wanting to - aside from having a temperature.
I'd have a word or have someone from your household to. Other than that ring the council and report them. You can probably remain anonymous. I hope you get well soon Flowers

WorraLiberty · 11/04/2020 23:38

Is it even legal to do that? Burning of waste creates high levels of pollution and particles which are highly damaging to lungs. I live in London and I am pretty sure it’s illegal here.

No it's not. Check you council website. There are a few restrictions though but not many. Having said that, due to the virus they're telling people not to at the moment.

donquixotedelamancha · 11/04/2020 23:38

I agree that DH should just go and as from a safe distance. Any reasonable person would stop burning.

She's got coronavirus, she can't "pop a note" through anyone's door and neither should anyone she lives with!

Let's call that plan B. If they are still burning stuff deliver a heavily coughed upon note.

Hope you get better soon OP.

Gingerkittykat · 11/04/2020 23:41

It looks like bonfires are not illegal.

I would advise environmental health before calling the police, but speaking to your neighbours would be better than either of these options.

ErrolTheDragon · 11/04/2020 23:54

As far as I know, all councils are managing their waste amounts okay at the moment so there is absolutely no need to be burning garden waste.

They may be managing what they're collecting, but some have suspended garden waste collection, and many recycling centres are closed to the public. Mine is still doing brown bins, but at this time of year I've got way more than will fit, we usually have to take a boot load or two to the dump ... I'm making a pile in a corner, wouldn't dream of trying to burn it.

LilacTree1 · 11/04/2020 23:55

I think your DP needs to hold his shit and tell them, via the window.

Or a note.

canigooutyet · 11/04/2020 23:58

I am really not trying to be pedantic here, and I have looked to ensure I was up to date. My borough doesn't have a ban in place to begin with and no additional message of CV. As sometimes, unfortunately, all these updates do sometimes pass me by.

So ended up the Gov website - nothing under bonfires not anything in relation to CV. So now I am confused as fuck and I don't even have a garden 🤣

And of course loads of news headlines, but nothing actually official.

Nottherealslimshady · 11/04/2020 23:58

Your partner needs to go round and tell them you're ill and ask them not to burn stuff. If you haven't told them you're I'll you cant expect them to know.

They shouldn't be burning stuff anyway but not everyone thinks that.

Original poster
upsetwithneighbour · 12/04/2020 00:02

We don't have their number so can't text them, otherwise we would have done that already. Have written a note (handled with gloves) for DP to pop round and have told him to wear gloves as well to try and minimise the possibility of passing it on. Yes they are generally great neighbours but we don't have any kind of relationship with them, friendly or otherwise, we never have and we've never needed to complain before so we have no idea how they'll react. As someone else said I'm assuming they're decent people as so far we've had no issues and I'm assuming it's thoughtless rather than them being arseholes

For a bit of background;

We are mid-terraced and as we have an absoutely shit neighbour on the other side who has caused no end of problems for us (including malicious reports about us to social services after a complaint was made by a family member regarding their kids throwing rocks into our garden when they were babysitting) we're cautious about approaching them regardless of the self-isolating issue as we try to avoid any kind of confrontation now due to our past experiences with neighbours.

Fingers crossed they don't take the note badly.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 12/04/2020 00:04

Well earlier on it was because your DP can't trust his own temper? Confused

Original poster
upsetwithneighbour · 12/04/2020 00:05

Also. I have no intention of calling the police. They have enough to deal with right now and it's not a police issue.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 12/04/2020 00:06

And I hope you included in the note that you've both used fresh or sterilised gloves, otherwise you'll probably scare the shit out of them.