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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Trying not be upset but I am. Neighbour burning garden waste.

91 replies

upsetwithneighbour · 11/04/2020 22:37

We're pretty sure I have coronavirus. On week 3. Started to see improvement and my fever finally broke a couple of days ago and my asthma nurse was happy to see improvement.

Fast forward to last night. My neighbours were burning garden waste in their incincerator and my chest feels like it's being crushed again, I'm coughing more, my temp has gone back up (though not as high as it was thankfully) and I'm generally upset and pissed off and was in tears last night because I felt so shit again. My head feels like I've been hit over it with a brick and my sore throat is back with swollen glands. Hayfever has kicked in too.

I feel torn and like maybe I am because normally it doesn't bother me, generally they're great neighbours though we don't particularly talk to them or know them (which is why we haven't approached them as my DP would have to deal with it and he can't guarantee he won't lose his shit because he's been really worried with how ill I've been as it was touch and go as to whether I'd need to go into hospital a few nights ago) and they have every right to do what they want in their garden.

But I'm really fucking upset that they aren't being more considerate (it's the second or third time they've burnt garden waste since I became ill as they recently removed their decking, I'm not entirely sure as everything has been blurring into one). Closing the window didn't help because it had already got into the house and had hit my chest. I really don't want to end up in hospital because if we're wrong and it's not that, I'll be exposing myself to further risk of getting it.

First time posting in AIBU. Lay it on me. Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
upsetwithneighbour · 12/04/2020 00:07

It's that as well @WorraLiberty, he's like a rubber band at the moment. I have health issues normally so this added on top with the issues we've had with the other neighbour and me being ill is the straw.

OP posts:
Original poster
upsetwithneighbour · 12/04/2020 00:07

I haven't. But that's a good point. I'll add it to it.

OP posts:
BillysMyBunny · 12/04/2020 00:18

I wouldn’t send around a note if you think you have the virus. Coronavirus isn’t passed on through the fingers, it’s passed on through droplets from your nose and mouth, so wearing gloves isn’t going to stop you from passing it on - droplets from your breath falling on the note as you wrote/ handled it are what would ‘infect’ the note.

Your neighbour would be the one who would need to wear gloves to handle the note, but how are they to know that until after they’ve read it? I think of you suspect you might currently be infectious with the disease it’s highly irresponsible to send anything from your house to somebody else’s, regardless of how careful you think you’ve been in handling it. Surely it’s just not worth the risk of passing it on.

Original poster
upsetwithneighbour · 12/04/2020 00:36

The note has been popped round with a note on the front (posted that way up so it's visible as I told DP not to push it all the way through so that they had chance to see it) saying that it's been handled with gloves and advising them to handle it with gloves and wash their hands. The note makes it clear that I have corona virus symptoms. Done the best we can under the circumstances. I'm not expecting to hear anything back but hopefully at least the fires will stop for a bit while I'm recovering.

OP posts:
BillysMyBunny · 12/04/2020 00:38

Did you wear a mask/ cover your face when you wrote and handled the note? That’s much more important than the gloves.

Original poster
upsetwithneighbour · 12/04/2020 00:45

Yep, printed off the letter and nabbed my DC's bandana when I went to add the note about handling with gloves... This shit is nasty, I don't want to risk passing it on if I can help it! Not sure if my DP did but we've been distancing as much as we can while I've been ill and using a bleach spray on any surfaces I've touched and he's been sleeping on the sofa so hopefully that's been enough.

OP posts:
BillysMyBunny · 12/04/2020 00:51

Sorry but I still think it was irresponsible to send the note. You don’t want to risk passing it on yet we’re happy to just ‘hope’ you’ve done enough to ensure DP isn’t infectious and didn’t even check he was going to cover his face with it?

Also, aside from the fact you’ve risked passing it on to your neighbours I also think that most people would feel highly anxious after receiving a note from someone who writes they might be infectious through their letterbox. If they have any form of health anxiety/ OCD etc that could be enough to send them under.

Everybody should be avoiding passing items between households right now but it seems especially stupid to do so when you think you might be infectious.

canigooutyet · 12/04/2020 01:00

Still no link to the official to advice about no bonfires because of CV? I now know individual councils can set basically local by-laws, but they're not Government laws? Wtf?

Original poster
upsetwithneighbour · 12/04/2020 01:15

Well with no phone number, and not being able to talk to them face to face and the fact I am not blessed with telepathy nor is my DP how would you suggest we tell them about the issue? As other people said, they're not mind readers and it's not a police issue. Who would tell us to try and talk to them about it first anyway as would environmental health.

You're telling me you think what I've done is wrong which is a perfectly valid point, but you haven't offered any suggestions as to how we might rectify it so that I don't end up in hospital? Not saying anything isn't an option because if they light another fire it could well end up with us needing to call an ambulance and I'm doing as much as I can to stay out of hospital, stay isolated from my family and not put further strain on the NHS. Even my contact with my asthma nurse and GP has all been by phone appointments.

OP posts:
Original poster
upsetwithneighbour · 12/04/2020 01:16

@canigooutyet welcome to the beauty of British laws and confusion lol. My council isn't even advising not to light fires/BBQs anyway (I checked)

OP posts:
CornishPorsche · 12/04/2020 01:16

Phone your local fire Brigade - most of the country has banned fires for many reasons right now, including public health. For example:
www.cornwalllive.com/news/cornwall-news/cornwall-fire-rescue-service-orders-4026524

They will come and deal with this.

Original poster
upsetwithneighbour · 12/04/2020 01:17

Thanks @CornishPorsche will keep it in mind if there are any further fires.

OP posts:
WeeM · 12/04/2020 01:26

I was going to suggest you could write the note and blu tak it to their front window from the outside-that way they can read it from inside but don’t need to touch it.

Original poster
upsetwithneighbour · 12/04/2020 01:29

@WeeM how would that work when needing to take it off? Not faulting your idea by the way, it's not a bad idea! Just working out logistics... They won't have read it yet as they'll be asleep.... Wink Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
upsetwithneighbour · 12/04/2020 01:31

It's probably too late now anyway, but the idea of asking my DP to grab the letter back to stick it to the window is at least making me smile while I'm feeling like shit.

OP posts:
Hollyhobbi · 12/04/2020 03:09

Sure the postman could have Covid 19.They just need to wash their hands after reading it.

Easilyanxious · 12/04/2020 03:52

Not all councils are managing waste ours have closed all recycling centres , not doing bulky collections and suspended garden waste . Not an excuse to have a bonfire though as I'm reading most councils etc are asking people not to seeing as we have a virus about ( would think that would be common sense ) also burning decking isn't allowed to my knowledge at any time .call 101 as you can't just knock and ask politely unless you are able to message them if they are nice people who you think would understand

LoveIsLovely · 12/04/2020 03:56

I can't believe people have bonfires at all tbh. They are being totally unreasonable, whether you have coronavirus or not.

minisoksmakehardwork · 12/04/2020 05:39

I have checked with local authorities - fire, police and council because with the recycling centres closed, I have a lot of dry garden waste to still dispose of and I want to be able to enjoy my garden too. Part of what is keeping me balanced during lockdown is gardening and spending time in my garden.

I have been told whilst they would advise limiting bonfires and to be considerate of my neighbours, ie infrequent fires as much as possible. Make sure waste isn’t toxic or damp and can be safely burned, check for washing being out etc, they are not actually banned so provided I am not causing a nuisance by having daily and Smokey bonfires, they wouldn’t be able to do anything if they received complaints other than advise what they’ve already told me.

If your neighbours are otherwise considerate people, all you can do is let them know the effect it is having and hope they heed your note.

Round our way has seen an increase in fly tipping so bonfires are a double edged sword.

Collaborate · 12/04/2020 06:01

If they’re burning decking they are burning treated timber. The fumes will be noxious, which is why it’s illegal to do. You can only burn untreated wood in a garden bonfire.

Speak to them first. If they won’t stop, you need to contact environmental health who I think have powers to prosecute.

IWantT0BreakFree · 12/04/2020 06:01

People are so inconsiderate. We've had several idiots lighting bonfires on our street this week and we live in a fairly built up area. Last night I came up to check on the 3yo and her room absolutely stank of smoke. Her window had been open and I didn't realise that our selfish neighbours at the back had lit a fire. Poor thing had been lying there breathing in smoke for ages. Had to move her into the spare room for the night.
You've done nothing wrong by sending a note. Of course it's not ideal when you have suspected coronavirus, but it's their selfishness that's forced your hand. I hope your neighbours feel suitably ashamed and stop with the fires so that you can recover properly.

Mummyoflittledragon · 12/04/2020 06:03

If your dh has no symptoms, he does not need to continue to completely isolate after 14 days. As for germs on the note, they can survive maximum 24 hours on paper. However this is nothing 20 seconds of hand washing won’t cure. On a risk assessment, the note would be considered far less dangerous to another person’s health than a bonfire for an asthmatic with cv symptoms.

NeverForgetYourDreams · 12/04/2020 06:24

What about lean out the window and say oi mate stop burning stuff. I think the note was irresponsible

Yester · 12/04/2020 06:45

Jesus what a palaver. DH should have washed his hands. Knocked on the door. Stood well back and politely explained that you are ill probably with CV and that the fire was aggravating it and to please stop. If they refused then escalate.
Hope you are feeling better soon. I had CV last month and even talk sent me coughing for ages.

Umnoway · 12/04/2020 07:25

Our neighbours had a bonfire last week but they pre-warned us and did it in the evening when our windows were closed so we didn’t mind. They were burning garden waste because our local council have stopped collecting the garden bin and the tip is closed. I really didn’t mind it because they gave us the heads up first.

Your NDN’s obviously have no idea you’re sick but should have checked with you first.