To think EVERY call doesn't have to be bloody FaceTime?! *lighthearted*

[Bridgeofpies]

I mean, don't get me wrong, I really appreciate being able to see friends and family when we aren't able to see each other in the flesh (and I know for many people this is really valuable so don't kill me and eat me alive), and it is great for them to be able to see the kids... but bloody hell. Every call has to be FaceTime and I find it really awkward.

To tell you the truth, I actually hate FaceTime calls:

1. The kids NEVER want to engage properly with it. They either stand there just staring in a creepy way or they totally ignore it, or they shout "NO NOT GRANNY" at poor Granny's startled face and run off. Or, the one time in a million they actually do attempt to engage they just shout "poo poo" at Granny and dissolve into helpless giggles and I am stuck grinning inanely and awkwardly at my mother in law's face while trying to catch a child, any child, to force them to help her feel less miserable and cut off from the world.

1. It is really awkward. You can't make eye contact, but you are staring at someone's face and are hyper aware that they are staring at yours. When I'm on the phone to someone I potter around and chat and it's nice. I enjoy it. Now, even the people I would normally talk to on the phone seem to feel the need to FaceTime. Even people I wouldn't NORMALLY even see that often, like my mother in law, or my elderly Aunt who lives abroad. And so I have to hold the phone in front of my face, staring up her nose while she jabs at the screen with increasing desperation and I shout hopelessly "YOU ARE ON MUTE".

1. I look REALLY TERRIBLE on FaceTime. I am not wearing make up. I have a giant spot on my nose because I have been surviving on gin, chocolate and the remains of the children's Pom Bears. My toddler is waking up at 5:30am every day. The circles around my eyes are very, very dark. In the mirror I don't look great but I just dash in to the bathroom, dash out, don't need to see anything! On FaceTime my eyes are constantly drawn to the little square with the slightly overweight spotty panda woman who seems to be moving in time with me. I also notice that behind her the sink is full of dirty dishes and there appears to be a pair of children's pants on the floor. I hope they are clean. I don't want to draw attention to them to check.

So please, people, think before you FaceTime. Maybe we can, you know, just use the phone. Or send a text?

YANBU!

David Foster Wallace had a brilliant bit in Infinite Jest on why video calling is awful.

www.google.com/amp/s/gizmodo.com/david-foster-wallace-on-video-calling-5558321/amp

Totally agree. We taught my mum to do it but have gone back to just phoning.

YANBU!

All of what you have written is so very true!

A facetime call should be scheduled in the same way as an actual visit. If people videocall me and I'm not expecting it I don't answer. I'm also one of those weirdos that don't answer the door if I'm not expecting someone 😂

I reject FaceTime. Them call back. On the phone,
can’t bear ii unless it’s prearranged. It’s intrusive.

YANBU. I am on a mission to reclaim the landline for everyday use. The audio quality is much better too.

I hate it. Just bloody call me in the normal audio way. Or, even better, just text.

I’m a miserable cow when it comes to the phone, it’s a family trait!

My nana was trying to facetime me whilst I was in the bath. I kept declining and writing "in the bath can't answer", but she didn't get that and just kept sending requests through! Also in laws wanting to facetime son, I get why so I facilitate it but I just don't want to be on video call to them all the time! And my son is 2 so it is usually me just showing him running around (therefore the house has to be tidy).

Haha OP this made me laugh - you are SO right.

So true! Although it's 'zoom' with my family. Today my mum told my sister off for having the dog on her knee as she wanted to see her face and not the dog, my sister looked put out at being bossed through a screen My mum is also tells my teenage niece's "come closer I can't see you!" I can tell they rather just be left to snapchat their friends or whatever they are doing, than to hear what food items my mum's got in, so perhaps she'll make a curry tonight [yawn]

I’ve told my friends and family that I’ll only do FaceTime if they hit 3 months without seeing me 😂

Why they want to look at my ugly mug, I’ll never know.

Ha ha yeeeessss I totally agree with this! Mil insists on face timing every other day. We have a 4 month old son and she constantly requests we face time 'when he is awake and happy'... Ffs he is a baby not a performing seal and he has no idea what is going on when we face time bless him. I know it's petty but lockdown stress is getting to me so I'm finding it really grating 🤯

Five “ Ffs he is a baby not a performing seal”

I’d actually say that. And it would be easy to disrupt a happy moment by him being urged to look at the screen etc.

So glad this wasn’t a thing when I was a kid.

Ugh. Yanbu. Dd does it with her friends all the time. I have never done it and refuse to.
However I hate phone calls too. Just text please.

Once in a while is fine, thankfully the Zoom novelty is wearing off with my friends and it's back to Whatsapp messages for the most part.

My dsis tries to face time me. It’s always the top of her head.

@LilacTree1, ha ha omg do not tempt me to actually say it, it's hard enough keeping my face neutral 😂

Agreed. I never realised how much I hate video calls until now.

Completely agree. I also can't stop myself from looking at my own face to see how hideous / weird it looks that day!

I rarely do face time only if we need to see each other. You have as much control of your media as other people. Say "sorry I'm hating all this facetime stuff it's really restricting and the kids feel like performing seals and I'm going to be limiting it or I'll stop wanting to talk to anyone. Do you REALLY need to see my facial expressions or can we just have a normal phone call"

I taught my mum how to use Whatsapp and Facebook messenger but she just rings me. I have done video calls with overseas friends though.

Completely agree. I mean, I look great always (sarcasm) but my dd just won't engage. I end up having awkward conversations like "tell grandad about what we made today" DD - "no!" "We made a castle today didn't we DD?" DD - nods her head. "And we painted it green, do you want to show grandad our castle?" DD - runs out the room. I show grandad our green castle. I try to get DD to come back and speak to him. DD won't come back.

But my mum HAS to show me the daily progress of all her plants in their pots in the garden. ALL OF THEM EVERY DAY.

I hate FaceTime ... and now zoom
I just want everyone to leave me alone actually!

HATE IT! Have a lot of family keen to FaceTime to see DS who is 2 and , quite frankly ,doesn't give a shit. He screams "rawr!!!!" at the phone until he goes bored and then just repeats "bye bye mummy...bye bye...MUMMY BYE BYE!!!!" Until I make excuses and hang up.

With a phone call I'm very good at ending a conversation and wrapping it up quite quickly but it all feels rather awkward and drawn out over video call. Maybe I'm a bore