To think EVERY call doesn't have to be bloody FaceTime?! *lighthearted*

[Bridgeofpies]

I mean, don't get me wrong, I really appreciate being able to see friends and family when we aren't able to see each other in the flesh (and I know for many people this is really valuable so don't kill me and eat me alive), and it is great for them to be able to see the kids... but bloody hell. Every call has to be FaceTime and I find it really awkward.

To tell you the truth, I actually hate FaceTime calls:

1. The kids NEVER want to engage properly with it. They either stand there just staring in a creepy way or they totally ignore it, or they shout "NO NOT GRANNY" at poor Granny's startled face and run off. Or, the one time in a million they actually do attempt to engage they just shout "poo poo" at Granny and dissolve into helpless giggles and I am stuck grinning inanely and awkwardly at my mother in law's face while trying to catch a child, any child, to force them to help her feel less miserable and cut off from the world.

1. It is really awkward. You can't make eye contact, but you are staring at someone's face and are hyper aware that they are staring at yours. When I'm on the phone to someone I potter around and chat and it's nice. I enjoy it. Now, even the people I would normally talk to on the phone seem to feel the need to FaceTime. Even people I wouldn't NORMALLY even see that often, like my mother in law, or my elderly Aunt who lives abroad. And so I have to hold the phone in front of my face, staring up her nose while she jabs at the screen with increasing desperation and I shout hopelessly "YOU ARE ON MUTE".

1. I look REALLY TERRIBLE on FaceTime. I am not wearing make up. I have a giant spot on my nose because I have been surviving on gin, chocolate and the remains of the children's Pom Bears. My toddler is waking up at 5:30am every day. The circles around my eyes are very, very dark. In the mirror I don't look great but I just dash in to the bathroom, dash out, don't need to see anything! On FaceTime my eyes are constantly drawn to the little square with the slightly overweight spotty panda woman who seems to be moving in time with me. I also notice that behind her the sink is full of dirty dishes and there appears to be a pair of children's pants on the floor. I hope they are clean. I don't want to draw attention to them to check.

So please, people, think before you FaceTime. Maybe we can, you know, just use the phone. Or send a text?

YADNBU 🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌

Yanbu OP. Also true for work calls. Just because we can do them over Teams / Zoom / WhatsApp doesn’t mean we have to. Much harder to multitask carry on with emails etc on a video call.

Every word you say is truth.

My friends (who I'd usually just send messages to on WhatsApp) are wanting to do video calls all the time now! I feel really uncomfortable about it but go along with it.

I must say I have been enjoying family zoom calls. I never even chat to them on the phone but honestly I feel a lot closer to everyone since all this started. But I guess as it’s my family it’s not awkward. We just kind of carry on what we’re doing and chat at the same time, in my case chasing after my toddler.

Friends I’ve always just texted. Don’t know why, I could easily chat to them on the phone but it just seem easier. It’s the same conversation either way.

My mum just wants to facetime to say hi then I've to get out the way to have the camera turned to watch my 18m old run about whilst she tries (in vain) to get her disinterested attention. When it becomes clear DD has a (normal) 30 second attention span she makes small talk but can't get off call quick enough and is clearly miffed! Don't mind scheduled video calls but I've had enough of the 'poor me' crap because a toddler doesn't want to return her coo'ing!

Haha this really made me laugh!

My husband and I are estranged from his patents, but they still have contact with our children (aged 4 and 6)...inevitably if they are FaceTiming them, something goes wrong with the screen and the children start calling for me to help, and I can hear my MIL shouting “No no no, not your mum” 🤣🤣🤣

Yanbu haha. I wouldn't mind so much if my mum would hold her phone properly so I wasn't talking to her ceiling 😂 my two year old has been quite entertained by it though I think he's amazed how nannie is in the phone

Parents, not parents!!

Never liked ft, glad it’s not just me! Love this post

I swear I see my MIL more now we're in lockdown, via bloody facetime. I wouldn't mind if she was on her own and feeling lonely but she's got my FIL, 2 kids and a teenager at home! Every call is now a video call, and she calls at least once every day, but usually twice. I've started ignoring my phone, and actually getting up and leaving the room if she then tries my husband and he answers. And if it's not video calling then she's sending endless photos of them sat on the sofa watching tv, or sat in the garden, or on their endless bike rides. I'm starting to lose the plot slightly with it all!

I wish I'd bought shares in Zoom. They're doing really well.

The thing is, once the children have had their school related video calls (currently on hold as it's Easter), we've all had enough of communicating with people.

Agreed. My in laws haven't seen us in at least 4 months (not a great relationship so we stopped making effort and they haven't made any either) but now lockdown has occurred mil is calling DAILY to FaceTime baby (who is 11 months old and couldn't give a shit). Dh sometimes ignores her calls so she rings me instead, i didn't even know she had my number 🤦🏻‍♀️ It's like they are bored so now they must make constant contact.

Just don’t do it then , I have never used face time in my life. I text, WhatsApp, email or speak on the phone.

Never understand why people get so irritated over things that they can very easily just not do.

YANBU. I hate it. The dc all get hyper and they all want to stand really close to the screen so PIL get to see one child's forehead and eyebrows and hear a lot of shrieking from the other dc in the background.

Just a different slant I can’t stand any form of Skype or FaceTime and my family normally know never to involve me in it but I had to care for some people sick with Covid going to intensive care and they FaceTimed with family before they went . I can’t bring myself to avoid it now when my mum calls me on it .

Sorry to make it non light hearted I’ve just been thinking of it differently recently I normally HATE anything like that .

Oh god, this! I hate video calls and my family and friends are currently all obsessed with FaceTime, Zoom and House Party. I've had enough video calling now to last me a lifetime. I also find it awkward. Plus the conversation doesn't flow as easily as it does on the phone. There's a lot of accidental talking over each other and "sorry what did you say?" Plus frozen images. I've tried putting them off but I'm not exactly busy at the moment. So glad I'm not alone in this, I thought I was just being miserable.

We tried a family Zoom with 5 different branches of the family. I like them all, but if we were all in the same building, there would be half a dozen different conversations going on at the same time. You would therefore get a meaningful conversation, rather than orchestrated manners. It's actually easier when it's work, as you know when it's your turn to speak. And you can ignore random toddlers sticking their face too close to the camera! Oh, and get your own kids to bugger off rather than trying to encourage them to be engaged in the conversation, which they are, as long as it is their turn to speak (please say it isn't just me who is raising to tiny narcissists!)

Yanbu. They’re intrusive and usually quite stilted. I have a rubbish internet speed which doesn’t help.

Omg I hear you. It's a pain in the hole. Everyone wants to do it, people I see twice a year wanting to face time everyday.

I've one school doing live lessons and 4 schools starting after the holidays. That's enough to drive me insane but now all family and friends are at it.

These aren't quick chats, some go on for absolute ages, everyone is a domestic critic if they spot something in the background.

Friends setting up quiz nights, inlaws doing drink nights, I'm finding myself sitting in a corner with nothing on show with full makeup and hair done, otherwise I'm told how crap I look. I look better sitting in than I do going out.

I'm going to start rejecting calls. Whoever invented video calls needs a good slap.

I hate this, too. My ILs never call, they only FaceTime. Even pre-Corona! It does my fucking head in.

DD1, when she wants to facetime with DGD always calls at tea time - when I am eating. Fortunately, I am persona non grata right now, so don't have to worry about it. DD2 is going to facetime tomorrow because its Easter Sunday, but at least she gave me some warning.

I must admit that I always FaceTime my Mum. It's because she's so deaf, she can't understand me on my mobile but with FaceTime, she can lipread a little bit.

I've found it OK with family (so far) but I've got some friends who I normally get together with every 3-6 months normally. So by our normal timetable we wouldn't have seen each other since lock down started anyway, but they've been video calling every week. The last one was a bit awkward though so it might be coming to an end thankfully.

Its also worse because I have less to say than usual and as pp said you can't lie and say you are going out.