To think EVERY call doesn't have to be bloody FaceTime?! *lighthearted*

[Bridgeofpies]

I mean, don't get me wrong, I really appreciate being able to see friends and family when we aren't able to see each other in the flesh (and I know for many people this is really valuable so don't kill me and eat me alive), and it is great for them to be able to see the kids... but bloody hell. Every call has to be FaceTime and I find it really awkward.

To tell you the truth, I actually hate FaceTime calls:

1. The kids NEVER want to engage properly with it. They either stand there just staring in a creepy way or they totally ignore it, or they shout "NO NOT GRANNY" at poor Granny's startled face and run off. Or, the one time in a million they actually do attempt to engage they just shout "poo poo" at Granny and dissolve into helpless giggles and I am stuck grinning inanely and awkwardly at my mother in law's face while trying to catch a child, any child, to force them to help her feel less miserable and cut off from the world.

1. It is really awkward. You can't make eye contact, but you are staring at someone's face and are hyper aware that they are staring at yours. When I'm on the phone to someone I potter around and chat and it's nice. I enjoy it. Now, even the people I would normally talk to on the phone seem to feel the need to FaceTime. Even people I wouldn't NORMALLY even see that often, like my mother in law, or my elderly Aunt who lives abroad. And so I have to hold the phone in front of my face, staring up her nose while she jabs at the screen with increasing desperation and I shout hopelessly "YOU ARE ON MUTE".

1. I look REALLY TERRIBLE on FaceTime. I am not wearing make up. I have a giant spot on my nose because I have been surviving on gin, chocolate and the remains of the children's Pom Bears. My toddler is waking up at 5:30am every day. The circles around my eyes are very, very dark. In the mirror I don't look great but I just dash in to the bathroom, dash out, don't need to see anything! On FaceTime my eyes are constantly drawn to the little square with the slightly overweight spotty panda woman who seems to be moving in time with me. I also notice that behind her the sink is full of dirty dishes and there appears to be a pair of children's pants on the floor. I hope they are clean. I don't want to draw attention to them to check.

So please, people, think before you FaceTime. Maybe we can, you know, just use the phone. Or send a text?

My 3 yesr old is bored of it. She used to love occasional video chats with my parents but now everyone wants to do it.
We usually see my in laws once a fortnight or so, now DH wants to facetime them every other day so they can see DD. She has nothing to say to them because we havent been anywhere! DH tries to get her to show them pictures shes drawn or whatever but she has no interest.

I don't really understand why people I see every few months constantly want to video chat at the moment! My school friends are doing it weekly, which is nice but kind of baffling because we normally see each other a couple of times a year, and live between 20 and 500 miles away from each other, so it wasn't like we were popping down our local before...

I have had invitations to zoom/houseparty meet ups every day this week, and I was starting to resent it so have started being a bit more selective about them. I feel guilty because I think some of my friends are very lonely and bored, but I'm WFH full-time (which involves a lot of video meetings) and also have a toddler so in the morning I'm not bored or lonely, I want to either catch up on work or quietly chat to DH, I don't want more screens and effortful conversation

Haha great post. Also very true!

I hate FaceTime. Message or text me and that’s it...! I never answer phone calls or FaceTime calls.

We always use WhatsApp video call to speak to my parents, we got in the habit when living places with dodgy phone signal but good WiFi. The secrets to success I've found: get dc primed and ready with one thing to tell grandma and grandad each. Remind them to say hello, speak clearly and ask how they are. Get them sitting somewhere like at a table so it takes longer for them to get up and run off. Start with dc part of call. Aim small - then be prepared with something to show parents when dc inevitably start fidgeting - 'ooh mum I must show you this flower/new/recipe/etc'. Dc run off, continue chat about you're going to eat, what they're going to eat etc for 5 mins then end the call.

Short and sweet 🤣

I find it intrusive. I put a piece of paper over the screen.

I've put a little round plaster on the camera of my kindle (use it to read in bed) which actually looks like naked flesh!

Might try that for the next work zoom meeting, which i 've dialled in (camera could not be detected if covered up) other options being considered is a cardboard cut out, a static photo or an avatar!

Loving the idea of a cardboard cutout! We had our first team meeting on zoom last week and I spent most of my time making sure my face was suitably neutral!

and you don’t need to see my wine glass at midday, it’s such an invasion of privacy

Scheduled video calls, fine. Unscheduled, fuck off.

Hah, so true.

This has reminded me of my DS taking his newish girlfriend to visit his granny, my DMIL, in her nursing home. DMIL had poor eyesight so insisted on examining poor GF with a magnifying glass!!!

I’m a tiny bit relieved she left us before FaceTime took off. She would not have held back in voicing her thoughts on our appearance 🤣

@Winterwoollies, they instigate it! 😂

I have a video call scheduled with my children once a week. I love to see them and my grandchildren, but what ends up happening is that the kids are so excited by seeing their own faces on the screen that they end up inches away from the camera gurning at the screen. I do want to see them, but mostly I want to be able to catch up with my own children. If the kids want to talk to me that is fine, but it they don't then I wish they would just go away and play and let me have some time with my own children. I don't enjoy being on screen but once a week I can manage. I hate the on screen team meetings though.... I'm working from home - I don't want to have to tidy my hair and wear a top without cat hair on it!

😂 @Somevampsarehot this is exactly what I have to do now. As soon as the iPad goes off my eyes roll into the back of my head. I thought is it rude I keep leaving the room? I don’t want this to become normal well this has blown over!

I get two hours with my husband and daughter every night in the week and I don't want to hear about nothing every single night. My daughter has turned one so waves then goes off to play then there is just relentless cooing to get her attention to no avail 🤦🏻‍♀️

Thank god my parents are relaxed and are happy with ad hoc face times and video/photo updates.