To think EVERY call doesn't have to be bloody FaceTime?! *lighthearted*

[Bridgeofpies]

I mean, don't get me wrong, I really appreciate being able to see friends and family when we aren't able to see each other in the flesh (and I know for many people this is really valuable so don't kill me and eat me alive), and it is great for them to be able to see the kids... but bloody hell. Every call has to be FaceTime and I find it really awkward.

To tell you the truth, I actually hate FaceTime calls:

1. The kids NEVER want to engage properly with it. They either stand there just staring in a creepy way or they totally ignore it, or they shout "NO NOT GRANNY" at poor Granny's startled face and run off. Or, the one time in a million they actually do attempt to engage they just shout "poo poo" at Granny and dissolve into helpless giggles and I am stuck grinning inanely and awkwardly at my mother in law's face while trying to catch a child, any child, to force them to help her feel less miserable and cut off from the world.

1. It is really awkward. You can't make eye contact, but you are staring at someone's face and are hyper aware that they are staring at yours. When I'm on the phone to someone I potter around and chat and it's nice. I enjoy it. Now, even the people I would normally talk to on the phone seem to feel the need to FaceTime. Even people I wouldn't NORMALLY even see that often, like my mother in law, or my elderly Aunt who lives abroad. And so I have to hold the phone in front of my face, staring up her nose while she jabs at the screen with increasing desperation and I shout hopelessly "YOU ARE ON MUTE".

1. I look REALLY TERRIBLE on FaceTime. I am not wearing make up. I have a giant spot on my nose because I have been surviving on gin, chocolate and the remains of the children's Pom Bears. My toddler is waking up at 5:30am every day. The circles around my eyes are very, very dark. In the mirror I don't look great but I just dash in to the bathroom, dash out, don't need to see anything! On FaceTime my eyes are constantly drawn to the little square with the slightly overweight spotty panda woman who seems to be moving in time with me. I also notice that behind her the sink is full of dirty dishes and there appears to be a pair of children's pants on the floor. I hope they are clean. I don't want to draw attention to them to check.

So please, people, think before you FaceTime. Maybe we can, you know, just use the phone. Or send a text?

We love facetime - but we have got used to it as my family live in a different continent

Totally NBU! My ex always video calls on Facebook messenger even if he's calling me not the dc. I usually don't answer and then call back normally.

My ds never wants to talk at first and he always holds the camera in front of his face while saying "aw do I have to talk to him?“ Then I'm hissing “you do know he's right in front of you and can see and hear you ds!“

Then the kids always say "do you want to talk to dad?“ and point the phone at me when I look a total mess and at an angle where I have five chins.

I spend the whole time whispering don't point the camera at the clothes pile or the dirty dishes!“

My granddaughter facetimes us every night before bed at the moment (obviously due to not being able to see her because of current situation) and she was talking to my middle child (her aunt who lives with us) I hadn't even had a chance to talk to her yet and I heard her say to her mum "have we finished talking to grandma yet!", even she is so fed up of it now 😂😢

I love FaceTiming my parents and do it daily, but they live 5 mins away and I’d usually be there at least once a day. Anyone else and I hate it. I look like shit, my house looks like shit and you don’t need to see my wine glass at midday, it’s such an invasion of privacy. I don’t answer.

My kids dad has taken to video calling the kids, he hasn't seen them now in a few weeks because of all this and honestly is like getting blood from a stone to get the kids talking. One is non verbal so I end up sitting behind the back of the phone and calling out things for them to say to their dad. Bless he's missing them like mad but god it's hard work haha

Finally something I can relate to!
Dsis facetimes me all the god damned time and I never pick up. I don't like a. Having to look like I'm listening and engaging with the waffle she chats and b. The fact it's soooo intrusive.

I despiseFaceTime, I hate how I look on it. I'm sure the screen contorts you're face!

Plus I can't roll my eyes at people's stupid comments if I'm FaceTiming them

And YY OP to kids not engaging - my DM gets very offended and takes it personally, but I try to explain the pressure of it all puts them off.

Oh yes, you are my tribe!

The only people to want to see are my parents because they live very far away and I am worried about them. I really want to see their faces so we FaceTime a lot.

Everyone else? Give it a bloody rest.

My children have only missed a few days of school as our Easter hols began halfway through the first week of lockdown. So they haven’t been apart from their friends for much longer than they would in a usual Easter break so far.

But the endless zoom chats and class playdates (painful) you’d think they hadn’t been together in months! Not sure how long I can keep it up or worse, what if people want to carry it on once we’re out the other side??

The disorienting slight delay, the talking over each other, the tinny sounds that set your teeth on edge, the freezing. Shit beyond all belief.

Yes yes yes. We live overseas so have actually had the ‘let’s Skype!’ situation blighting our life for years.

My 1 year old just wants to lick the screen and my 4 year either becomes suddenly mute every time my Mum fires a billion questions at him, or seems to become capable of just shouting ‘bum bum!’ at the iPad and running away, leaving me to awkwardly make up some excuse like ‘oh he didn’t sleep well last night so he’s a bit off today.’

My mum also manages to comment on my appearance every single time, and I hate it. Yesterday was ‘your hair’s looking long’. Actually I had about 5 inches cut off a few weeks ago She also likes to take me on a ‘tour’ around her house pointing out work they’ve done. ‘Can you see, we’ve repainted the skirting boards in the hallway.’

Since the whole corona thing, it’s only got worse. I have friends that I stay in touch with via WhatsApp and see when I’m back in the UK once or twice a year. Now suddenly they all want to Zoom. Why?!

As a grandparent that used to be childcare, before this pandemic hit, I am loving FaceTime! Usually every day, sometimes twice if Grandad isn’t at home the first time. They are 5 and 19 months and they love it too, I have watched them play, read stories, had singing time and the little one is now stringing words together so it’s really lovely to see that coming along, I also chat with my daughter, who hates phones but she will chat away happily on FaceTime. It has been a real blessing, especially as I am going to be away from them until at least June

Agree. I fucking hate it.

I just want everyone to leave me alone actually!

So do I, Im glad its not just me.

@Colouringaddict you might love it but how about their parents?! 😆

It’s something you use with young children isn’t it, I couldn’t envisage wanting to use it myself, DS is 27 and we just speak on the phone, friends I just speak to, I don’t need to see their faces

Another agreement here and it’s not even my MIL doing it for the kids! It’s my sister doing it to me! Before this all kicked off we rarely spoke on the phone maybe brief catch up texts every 2-3 months . Now I keep getting missed FaceTime calls from her on a weekly basis- I HATE FaceTime (for the same reasons as other posters) but why does she suddenly feel the need to communicate now? I don’t have anything to say to her as my life is on hold too and she’s too dramatic about this virus for my liking so it’s easier to not engage about it 😁

I can definitely only handle it in small doses. I spend most of the time either shuffling around so that I don’t look (IMO) terrible or forgetting that people can see me and doing things like scratching my arse.

Yes I hate it too. I have for many years refused to go on to FaceTime with my In laws, who have cited it as one of the many (extremely minor) misdemeanours I have committed. I still used to contribute to the conversation just not go on screen, but now, not even that 😂.

Another one in agreement here, I find it really hard work, we use Skype to speak to our parents, and my brother and his wife will Skype in on the same phone call so we have a three way split screen, but I find everyone talks at once and you're constantly repeating yourself, a phone call can be done in half the time! Another thing, why does everyone look so awful on screen?

You sound like my DH . He phoned his Grandad the other night and had this exact conversation /rant with him, DH made himself also sound like an 86 year old!

I agree though, we’ve never needed to see the other persons face on the phone in the past so not sure why it’s necessary now.

Yes!!!!!
I hate it! Always have but now there seems more pressure from friends/family to do it.
I'm just totally distracted by looking at my own face throughout.

I had a Zoom chat with various members of my family across the globe on Thursday. My cousin in Australia insisted that we play charades! WTAF! You cant get a word in edgeways, when there's more than 2 of you and I've no desire to see my aunt and uncle still in bed! It was early, due to the time difference in Oz obviously, but even so!

On the other hand, I've enjoyed having DD on FaceTime, just kinda sitting next to me, chatting shit whilst she does her thing and I do mine. She 'helped' me decorate a cake last week. It was nice to have her input.

'Oh no not granny! Has made me laugh out loud in recognition lol
My in laws live abroad and always wanted to FaceTime when my dd was little, she spent most of the time rolling about the floor making farting noises and then got bored after 5 mins.
Of course I was left making awkward excuses oh sorry she's tired. Poor kid just wasn't interested!

I hate FaceTime. In laws are abroad and FaceTime us all the time. I get it, they want to see the DC. But I find it really intrusive! It’s like turning up uninvited. The DC are young and they will say hello then get bored and run off, then DH feels bad that the DC aren’t engaging with his parents as they don’t get to see them often, and it all gets a bit fraught!
MIL has set up a zoom chat with them, us and SIL this morning. She wanted us all to make Easter cards and decorate eggs to show each other and chat about over the breakfast table (which we haven’t done as the weather was lovely yesterday so we spent the day in the garden). We’ve been up since 6.30 so already had breakfast, which I explained to MIL when she set it up. It’s going to be shit.