To feel like never talking again to friend who’s just been telling me about her teenage dcs school work

[sunshineanddaffodils]

Feeling thoroughly depressed after talking to friend who’s dc are 13 and 15. They’re still happily doing school work this week after an energetic warm up at 9am from joe wicks. Last 2 weeks they have been busy working 7- 8hr days.
My 2 are flat refusing to do anything school related a the moment as it’s ‘Easter holidays’ They did do the work school set for the previous 2 weeks but had it all done within 3-4 hours maximum. I honestly feel utterly stressed and depressed. I was worried before about them missing school but now my stress has hit new heights

Considering kids are only in school 6 hours a day wtf are hers doing?
My DD14 gets hers done in an hour it two, they aren’t sending loads.
She sounds fun 🙄🙄

OP please don't worry. I'm a Secondary School teacher.
For the past two weeks, I've set work that would be good if students did but not essential if they can't.
We're just all going to have to do a heck of a lot of reviewing in September.
DS1 who is 18 on Sun and off to Uni was doing minimal amounts before the Ofqual announcement as to how they were going to grade them ... now I'll be lucky to see him do any work apart from the subject I teach him :-)

Mine has been following her full time- table with lessons online with the teachers.
Nothing has changed at all, and now on holiday she's doing work for GCSE assessments.
She is doing it because she is concientious and wants to do well. Not all kids are the same.
Mine prefers to keep busy, not like they can go out and meet friends.

Today my kids have

• helped me paint a fence (DS1)
• helped me set up the pressure washer and clear the patio (DS2)
• voluntarily and without nagging (!!!) tidied their bedroom (DS3)
• read Holy Week thought for the day (DS3)
• played football in the back garden (all 3) That's it. I'll get them into bit more of a routine next week but I'm just delighted that they are all getting on with each other.

My oldest is well into the school work and enjoys it. She also gets fresh air and enjoys chatting to her mates so I let her crack on.
Not a stealth boast as I have another dd who gives zero fucks.
It's all fine. 3 - 4 hours sounds good to me. Dont get stressed out by what others are doing or not doing.

We are on Easter hols here too, I am making ds to Joe Wicks but just to give him some structure and a workout. He has some easter holiday homework

Competitive Lockdowner!

We were asked to set 'light' work over the holidays - talking book, watch a play, make a model etc

My dd is doing 2 hours or so a day and when I told her teacher that, she was delighted. Don't worry about it. They may have done more hours and they may even be happy about it, but what really matters is that your dc are coping and happy.

Maybe your kids catch on quicker. My DD14 in year 10 is doing the square root of fuck all atm. I saw something by a homeschooling parent who said 3-4 hours for teenagers was fine.

OP, they will DEFINITELY put something in place for the 2021 GCSEs. Whether it be reduce the specifications OR students have a choice of certain questions to answer OR they reduce the papers OR they adjust grade boundaries. I teach MFL, aint no way Yr10 are going to cover the spec if we don't go back till September. They won't disadvantage them, they can't, they'd never get voted in again, Exam Boards have to stick to the certain % who get Grade 9 and Grade 5, that's why they've asked us not just to predict grades but also to rank students this year, so that they are awarding grades within the norm.

Oh don’t worry mine are primary school aged and I talked to a friend about their school work and they apparently do 4 hours a day English, maths, spellings, science and history plus one hour a day of silent reading and then writing a short story and they’re also learning Spanish . I had a little cry because mine are doing little and fairly often and intermittently between screens/outdoor play.

Oh tell her to sod off! Why did she need to brag? Because that’s exactly what she was doing. She sounds like a pain in the bum.

My ds is 11. Over the last two weeks he’s completed a History project and a Geography project and that’s it! He’s given up on school work now. He has however been doing lots of baking and learning some other household skills.

My 10 and 13 year old are not motivated at the moment to do obvious work and I will be honest, despite logging in to work on the face of it for meetings and emails I can see where they are coming from. This is the holidays and we would normally be out exploring new places and visiting friends and family.

The things we have done include making collages, making snowflakes in bright paper, taking photos of animals (mainly woodlice as my garden is not a zoo), using an app to make a mini film from photographs, played with the cat lots. I am going to write this all as mindfulness rather than beat myself up about it.

The problem is your insecurity OP - I would find it amusing personally! Don’t let it bother you so much! She’s obviously desperate to prove what a great mum she is. I have a friend a bit like this and I suspect the reality at home is that it isn’t a bed of roses.

Another trained teacher here ( though I only tutor now and have a different day job) and I homeschooled my kids in primary for 2 terms. DS got out of doing GCSEs and he's just reading popular science books instead of starting on the A level curriculum. Seems to take him about 35 minutes a day. DD is Y9 and starts studying when she emerges from her room around midday. She doesn't spend long at it really. But- it's fine. In school, quite a large part of their day is not actively spent assimilating knowledge and skills. If they're spending 3 to 4 hours a day processing subjects on their own, that is a higher level of engagement than they'd typically commit themselves to during the school day. They're having to take responsibility for their own learning. They'll be fine. I don't make mine do anything, because (a) I have a full time job and no time to chase them and (b) it's their life. They have to choose to study. Or not. Guess what... They choose to study. Eventually. (Disclaimer: they spent the first 10 days on Netflix.)

If it helps, our school refused to send the work until after Easter probably knowing some parents are like this. Poor kids.

OP, mine are also 15 and 13. Over the last two 2 weeks I was working from home and they probably did 2 hours a day of schoolwork, tops. I just didn't have the time or energy to get involved. Now they are doing nothing as it is the holidays. My lovely friend who is a very devoted stay at home mum somehow managed to get her very biddable kids to replicate school hours for the last few weeks, by basically 'teaching' them what was assigned in the allotted timetable slots. I am fairly sure her kids will do well. However, if you meet her kids out and about and say "Hello X" they can't say hello politely or look you in the eye for shyness. They are just not very big personalities, and she is, and so they do what she says. My own kids (fortunately/unfortunately ) are not nearly as biddable, but they are polite, chatty, articulate, not afraid of adults and fun to be around. I am well aware they may not get top grades at GCSE but I still think I have done a reasonable job of making nice human beings who will make a positive contribution to the world as adults. Perhaps your kids are more like mine? Don't compare, it's horses for courses and your friends' kids may actually prefer to just work to keep mum happy rather than for any real love of learning - who knows what will happen when they go to university or leave home and don't have her there to control everything?

She sounds like a show off and you sound jealous. Neither of those things are great

I'm a uni student and have still done damn near fuck all since all this kicked off, even with deadlines looming rapidly. Don't stress about it, they'll be fine and your 'friend' is probably bullshitting anyway.

The BBC Bite size are launching new resources after the Easter holidays. These may be easier for your DC to get into OP.

I am sure they will have to adjust the way GCSEs are done next year, but whilst DS has the motivation to do schoolwork we are not putting him off. What might happen is that children who are keen now might be fed up in a few weeks, just when other children start getting interested!

Your two sound quite normal, op - and it is the Easter holidays. Please don't worry about it.

As well as it being a holiday period, the reason I have not pushed lots of learning is that I remember that learning one or two things properly with space to consolidate lasts longer than almost learning lots of facts.

You can spend hours and hours force feeding information at someone who can only really take in an hour or maybe two. Schools have breaks, PE, creative sessions and projects. It isn't all sat as desks rote learning facts.

YABU. Every family works differently.

Why would you stop talking to a friend just because you’re jealous her kids work more than yours do?

Turn them loose to find what they are interested in. A friend who is well-balanced and competent in his world, despite being orphaned as a teen reckons that as a parent, your job is to ensure your children can read and write fluently in standard English (if that's their mother tongue), knows their times tables and how to calculate percentages, and can drive, swim and cook. Anything over and above is a bonus. With those basic skills, they can always earn a basic living. What they do with those skills is over to them, not you.

My 13 year old finished school two weeks ago and has done absolutely nothing school related at all.