Is sister in law being very stupid here or doing the right thing

[Dubdubdubtub]

My SIL has three kids and is a single parent.
She works in the NHS as a nurse. She works three days a week. She works in ITU.
She could send all three of her kids to school that is five minutes down the road as she a key worker but instead is driving them to grandparents three days a week and they are having them. She is then staying for tea every night when she gets back.
My FIL is 72 and my MIL 69. They have both had medical issues in the past but nothing too serious. My FIL is a type 2 diabetic which is dangerous with this virus but maybe not as dangerous as type 1

Not sure if she is doing the right thing but leaning towards she should be sending them to school and leaving grandparents alone. Also if they are looking after the kids surely it should be a quick drop off and pick up.

She works from 8 till 4. The school is open from 7.30 till 5

Unless the hospital is next door to the school the chances of her being able to drop off at 7.30, drive to work, park, get inside and get read for work by 8 are extremely slim.

Same at the end of the day. If she doesn't finish bang on 4 then does she actually have time to get washed, changed, get to her car and drive to the school?

My SIL had the choice of relying on her elderly MIL to do drop off/pick up and cover any delay in her getting home, go off work because she couldn't juggle childcare, or bring her kids to stay with us for the duration.
She chose the latter so she could keep working in ITU. I have to be honest and say I don't know that I'd be able to make the same decision as she doesn't know how many weeks she'll go without seeing her kids.

There are no good choices here. I’m on a Doctor mums forum. The distress caused by balancing the risks of childcare is massive. Risk to our children from us from our jobs and risk to carers of our children from us and our children vs risk to patients from us and our children and their carers. And then all the usual worried about childcare - does it cover the right times, in the right place, opening over Easter, can I afford it, do I have a backup in case my chosen care has to isolate let alone the normal worries about if the childcare is suitable for my child. Mines a preschooler, fortunately verbal and toilet trained, but many aren’t. Never before would I have considered leaving her at a “hub” school she and I have never set foot in before (and I’m not allowed in to settle her) with staff We have never met and don’t know the names of with what appears to be no contact details or health forms collected and to be told that she would be in a room with kids up to 16yrs and that they the staff won’t touch her if she falls over or needs help with the loo or her packed lunch. Would any of you truly choose that for your child over grandparents? And yet I fully considered this so that my husband and I could continue to work in the nhs after the friend that was doing our Easter holiday care had to isolate. Grandparents got wind and said no, they would not let their granddaughter go there, grandmother is a care home worker anyway and despite being over 60 and having diabetes dosent meet the shielding criteria and is risking her self daily to care for her residents so if she wants to care for her grandaughter some time’s I see that as her choice. Fortunately an old babysitter has managed to take our daughter at the last minute so it’s not needed.

But you know what go on criticise the person, your SIL who is risking her life to care for the sick and dying in horrific circumstances. I imagine the grandparents in this situation see it as their duty to family and country to support her in that and I respect all of them.

I can
Understand her point

If the kids go into school they are going to be in contact with loads of other key workers kids and spreading the virus around anyway

No one is saying her job is easy. It must be horrific but that makes her decision worse. She knows how much people suffer and how much pain they are in but is perfectly willing to put her parents through that because she doesn't want her children to go to school.
If my sister was doing this I would have strong words with her.

thank you Really12345 for putting the other side that there really no good choices.

And a hub school isnt any better and indeed is more likely to cause more spreading of the virus than the choice she has made. As @PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock if she lived with them she would be within guidelines and get the support she needs to do this.

The mental health impact on those on the front line is immense and she had a breakdown under other circumstances.

And she is being the complete opposite of selfish here putting her mental and physical health on the line every day to save others. Yet we are judging her choice that enables her to get through this