She doesn't want to go and I don't know what to do.

[ArtNotDishes]

I'm so anxious and Mumsnet has always helped me in the past so I'm reaching out again. My mum was diagnosed with a brain tumour and a spinal cord tumour and put on a two week cancer wait 5 weeks ago. She now has an appointment on Thursday at a hospital 2 hours drive away. She needs specialist scans. She called me tonight as she doesn't want to go as she scared she might catch the virus. She's 73 and she's been staying inside alone for 3 weeks. She's also scared of the outcome if she doesn't go. She's on her own and looking to me for advice and answers and I just don't know what to say. My instinct is to go with my gut and tell her not to go and to wait it out. I don't want to make the wrong call. Sorry I'm so stressed.

She needs to go. Take anti back with you and wash hands regularly. Wear masks if you would like to. Good luck.

Familyofaliens agree entirely. Even if anyone responding here were an oncology specialist they shouldn't give a go/don't go instruction to the OP.

It's a decision the patient needs to make herself, based on the advice of her own doctors.

@Familyofaliens then you would have missed this
My instinct is to go with my gut and tell her not to go and to wait it out. I don't want to make the wrong call. Sorry I'm so stressed.

Most comments agreed with the dr to make sure the OP follows the dr's instructions, cuz if the OP goes ahead with her gut feeling this would put the mother at risk. Saying to someone it is for you, mum and the dr to decide, when this had already taken place and the gut feeling is going against the dr's advice... Then all comments here have said the right thing, to encourage the right move.

I would have agreed with you had the dr not been consulted... And ppl are throwing ill advice... the right advice would be "speak to ur dr"... But this is beyond that, cuz the dr's advice was given and was about to be dismissed

I would have agreed with you had the dr not been consulted... And ppl are throwing ill advice... the right advice would be "speak to ur dr"... But this is beyond that, cuz the dr's advice was given and was about to be dismissed

Obviously the OP’s mum has seen her consultant. She wouldn’t have been given an appointment otherwise. But she is now worried about the risk of being infected by coronavirus if she goes into hospital for this appointment. Nowhere in the OP does it say her mum has had a conversation about this latest concern with her doctor.

I am sorry to hear about your mum. If it was not urgent they would have cancelled it so I think you should go. Wear masks and gloves if concerned.

You definitely need to get your mum to the appointment.

I had a family member in hospital last week - it was immaculate and all the staff were taking every precaution to keep patients safe.

Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to reply, it honestly has really helped me to unpick the situation. It has been useful. I spoke to the hospital today and they said consultants have cancelled all routine scans and appointments and have drawn up a list of who they need to see and my mum is on that list. They are in a separate part of the hospital to Covid patients and covid patients are scanned on different scanners. My mum also spoke to her doctor who said it was important for her to go as the tumour inside her spinal cord needs urgent attention. I live 2 hours away from the hospital and my mum lives 2hours away in the opposite direction. My brother is taking her as he lives near her. They are only letting one person go in with her. I've sent her face mask, gloves, goggles, (I'm an artist so have these for my work) hand sanitizer in the post today. She's made the decision to go but is very anxious and scared. I feel awful and guilty that I'm not going. I need to make sure my bother takes all the safety precautions as I hate to say it but he's not the most reliable person. Thanks for all the advice you've been fantastic and very supportive

Good luck, I do hope treatment is effective. She's made the right decision; I'm glad your brother can take her and she won't be alone when she goes.

Good luck, Art, thinking of you all.

Maybe your brother will surprise you! The good thing is that you did your bit and he’s doing his. Hope it all goes well for your mum.

I'm glad that you have understood the whole situation and come to a decision that feels right. I wish you and your mum all the best.

Only just seen this thread, my dad had to go to the hospital for a cancer procedure the other day and the hospital were absolutely amazing. Like you we were very anxious about it, but the hospital took lots of precautions and he felt safe and reassured. Hospitals have got a really robust system in place for this, I’m certain it’s the right thing for your mum to go. I hope things go well for her

Art: Very glad to hear you've made a decision and are (mostly) comfortable with it. You probably saw by the overwhelming response on here almost all PP would have made the same decision (and many reported having done so).

I am pleased to see the wise owls at mumsnet HQ deleted softygirl's input, which so many of us objected to.

Lots of luck to your mum, to you for phone and video support and fingers are crossed for the appointment to be as stress free as it can be under the current circumstances. And for quick results and a plan of action. Hopefully this appointment will reassure her how well cancer units are insulating themselves from CV and be a shot in the arm (as it were) for a good approach to future treatment.

Good. That is the right decision. I'm glad she spoke to the doctor who made that clear to her.

And honestly, in the hospital, your brother won't be given the chance to do things in a slapdash way.

I hope it goes ok op.
I took someone to hospital today (big city hospital) and it was deserted so hopefully a very small risk.

Thinking of you and your mum, what a tough situation.

It's a decision the patient needs to make herself, based on the advice of her own doctors.

Well the advice of her doctors was to attend the appointment, otherwise it would not have been sent. More detailed advice can only be given when the initial investigations have been done, otherwise it’s just guesswork. Yes, it’s up to the patient to decide, but preferably when in full knowledge of the facts.

I’m so glad that you have helped your mum decide on this course of action, OP.

My dp had to take an elderly family member to hospital for an imaging appointment the other day, and he told me that the hospital had all the different areas totally segregated from one another, and the clinic they were in was almost completely deserted.

Please try not to worry

We are seeing majority of our 2 week pathway patients . Our usual clinics are cancelled. Updated guidelines are in-place and only few patients are invited daily to keep up will social distancing and minimise the risk of contamination.

Just a quick update. My mum went to her hospital appointment yesterday for CT and MRI scans. She was very scared and anxious but we talked through all the safety precautions she could take beforehand. My brother drove her to the appointment. She said the hospital car park was virtually empty and so was the hospital department she was in. She said the staff we incredible and made her feel so safe and comfortable. She said staff were regularly cleaning all surfaces and everyone had masks and face shields. She said she was overwhelmed and emotional about how amazing the doctors and nurses were. We are now waiting to see if there's anything that can be done about her tumours and what treatment, if any, they can move forward with. I'm so proud of her for going and I'm so proud of our NHS workers. I just wanted to post this update just in case anyone reads this and they're in a similar situation. I hope it can shed some light what an appointment like this might look like and in some way give people reassurance. Lastly a heartfelt thank you to all of you who replied in support and kindness. X

@ArtNotDishes lovely to hear, glad she's happy now. Goodluck with the results

my friend had to go to our local hospital for cancer related blood tests this week. She was really scared.

The surprising thing was that the hospital was empty, completely deserted. She went to her appointment, and then back to her car only meeting the nurse she had come to see.

please encourage your mum to go.

Can you fashion homemade masks and really don't bother with this, they will noly make you both feel more worried. Masks help someone with the virus to stop spreading it, only because when they cough/sneeze, the droplets cannot travel anywhere and are contained in the mask.
The cloth masks don't stop the virus going through. As a poster on another thread put it, they are about as good at stopping the virus as chicken wire would be at stopping sand.

She needs to go

that's brilliant, OP. Well done, all of you, and the wonderful NHS staff that are looking after her.

Really nice update - thank you for taking the time to do that, it's much appreciated.

I so hope your mum's cancer is treatable in some way and that she feels better. It is a hard road to be on, especially with CV19 hanging over us.

Besst of luck.