To have reached emotional tipping point

[PrettyTricky]

Been pretty stoic the last few weeks, tried to make the most of lockdown at home, homeschooling, business worries. Have played down worries about elderly relatives, especially isolated parents in a different part of the country and have organised shopping for them. Have just been bloody getting on with it and following the rules.

But today I seem to have hit a wall and am finding it hard to cope anymore. I think the news about Boris has made it seem very real, and the sense of disbelief about all of it is suddenly hitting home.
Plus, I was meant to be going to Venice today on a special holiday, but that's irrelevant really given the sufffering going on.

Just feel like having a cry and am very worried about everything really. Not sure what to do with myself.

I think everyone is holding so much in. No one wants to complain and we all know that each of us have lost so much during this time but it’s ok to cry it out, to say to a friend (on the phone) I’m having a bad day. It’s ok, hang in there and stay healthy xx

Hi, @Asswipe !

It's just too much now, I can't even cry to get it all out, I've tried but I can't! Boris being in ICU has pushed me over the edge. I've been having breathlessness and tight chest on and off for months now. At one point I thought it was covid-19 but now I'm assuming it's crushing anxiety. I just don't know how we're going to get through this. If Boris is struggling with the early medical care he's had, what does that mean for us?

You're not alone. I'm in lockdown by myself and 90% of the time am fine - I chose singlehood, being childfree and living on my own.

But today I really wobbled. Four hours on the phone to my best friend helped a bit - news about Boris has shaken me - the whole thing is a massive headfuck and I'm approaching it half an hour at a time, because any more than that and my brain explodes :(

I’m teetering on the edge every day as a community nurse getting put back into wards after 20 years away with COVID patients. I’m absolutely terrified every night and day. I’m also sick to the back teeth of my teacher friends who are terrified of being on a rota of working 2 days a fortnight but having the privilege of staying 2 metres apart.
Have to keep it all rosey for my dc.

I've hit my wall in the last couple of days. Other things going on in my life have been magnified by a milllion, I'm a single parent so really missing talking to other people, I can't get to the gym which really helps me when I feel stressed, Boris going into hospital made me feel odd then today with the ICU. I juts feel on the verge of tears and very alone.

You’re not alone Op, I think I hit my wall when Boris was hospitalised... then hit it again when I saw he had been moved to intensive care tonight.
I think it’s because he’s one of the last people you’d think of getting so poorly, so quickly (having immediate access to top health care, etc). The fact that he has really jolted me.
I have no feelings one way or the other, towards him, but this turn of events has suddenly shocked me and I feel very out of sorts😟

I've been a bit like that yesterday and today, it's just the magnitude of it all I think.

I think if you didn’t have times where you felt overwhelmed, scared, panicked, it would be weirder. We’ve never had to deal with anything like this and living with this much uncertainty is beyond stressful.

I’m accepting that some days I’ll cope better than others. I’m normally pretty unflappable, not a worrier and have been through some truly horrendous events but I get periods where my heart rate is high and sometimes missing beats , feelings of panic and irritability. I’m trying to tell myself that these are natural reactions to the situation and to try to relax and calm myself.

We are so bloody lucky we aren’t dealing with this in Yemen, Syria or in a country that is very unstable in other ways. That doesn’t mean that we are going to feel unstressed and stop feeling vulnerable and frightened.

You aren’t alone OP and what you are feeling is understandable. I live alone, have health issues, my family are at the other end of the country or overseas and I’m finding it tough to cope.

It’s hard to keep coping when a crisis goes on and on. So be kind to yourself. I think we’re all going to feel that way from time to time before this is over. At least we can talk to each other and know we’re not alone.

I’m not a royalist, but I got a lump in my throat when the queen addressed the nation yesterday and we saw a photo of her doing the same in 1940. Just quiet and calm and getting on with it. We’ll get through this.

I am finding it hard. My H not so much!
We are at home with our little one, who is Autistic.

I have been feeling sick all day and hope it’s not leading to anything.
H is a Key Worker, but has been able to work from home so far.
I’m a homebody, but this is hard. I appreciate others have it far worse, other countries. We are lucky, I am lucky, with a house and garden to go in. The weather has been amazing. Still hard 😬

I felt I was doing fine - being positive and capable, getting on with things. Keeping everyone positive both in the house and work colleagues. I was a bit low yesterday but cheered up later. This morning I was perfectly cheerful but at lunchtime I just blew up at my very lazy teenagers. I was so angry at the kitchen being left with their pans from last night, lots of bowls and cups on the side because the dishwasher hadn't been emptied. I basically lost my shit. I am still working full time, my DS let off A levels is doing nothing and my DD is doing bits of college work - max maybe 10 hours over the last 3 weeks. And muggins Mum is cooking all the meals, cleaning and tidying, emptying bins and collecting up the shit left around the house. No other adult here to share the load.

So I've gone on strike and been on my own for the rest of the day. My DS was a bit unwell over the weekend but not with typical symptoms. I have a sore throat, a bit of a cough (but some phlegm too) and feeling hot now and again. I think at the back of my mind I've been worrying I've got CV and wondering if I might die. Not in a dramatic way - just I'm obese and the same age as Boris. So I'm feeling down and also now feel like I'm the bad guy in the house and that they hate me. Also, if I do have symptoms I'm not sure how I will get food etc. Thank god I've got a delivery tomorrow. But as I have only a small freezer it wont last forever.

I can resonate with a lot of the posters on here. Especially the feeling like I am skiving from work. I'm on my own, and used to having the nights alone, but this is so different. It scares me when I hear on social media things like, 'tell the truth, tell us what is really happening'. We are lucky not to be in the situation some countries are, I'll grant you that, but we are still vulnerable. I really hope Boris pulls through. I'm not Tory, but my opinion of him has changed throughout all of this. And bless him, dressing up in a shirt and jacket to clap for the NHS, looking so poorly.

I feel.the same.

Haven't had a decent sleep for ages. Im WFH but cant concentrate at all. I've spent past couple of weeks in my pj's most days and just feel emotionally drained.

2 older teens who are so fed up and basically gaming round the clock apqrt from walking the dog and several trips to the fridge. Youngest dd is desperate to see her friends. We've all just had enough.

Several times a day i ask myself is this really happening, cant get my head round it all. The news about Boris tonight just hit me like a sledgehammer.

It consumes your thoughts all day long. Theres no getting away from it.

your not alone.everyone is hitting walls.and they come out of nowhere.
my mum is thebravest and strongest person i know.trust me shes gotten us trhough some shit.but ive seen a side to her so afraid its been bloody horrible to see.
this is a really scary time.and to all those who are struggling we shouldnt belittle it.
its ok to feel this way.and there are so many people thikning of you.i think there is many idiots.but there are also some very very good people who as a collective are all thiinking of others who might be feeling afriand and overhwlemed.
dont judge yourself for feeling this way.dont try and man up or push it away thinking you should be strong er because you shouldnt!this is shit scary.shitty horrible awful thing to happen to us all.
try and just sit and allow yourself to feel this way because your opk to be scared.and your not alone
have you have of the RAIN technique/a lady called tara brach does some great words to go with that.
she also as it happens is doing weekly live talkdown vidoes.
do you have instgram.there are also loads of people doing live sessions tio try and bring people together,distrat or help out from meditation to craft to fun buits.and if you click on the igtv tab on instgram there are so much content to take yourself away from it all on.
today ive watched dwaine the rock jonhson eating the biggest french toast.ive watch lisa falkner and john torrode cook tray bake chicken.
rob beckit go out for a walk and tell people to get the uck home
tom allen the comedian
meditation
tom kerridge cook peaula
live kareioke with robbie williama
2 people from only way is essex
live cook with tom aikins and tom kitchen
and rochelle gary barlow and lots of other people!
reese witherspoon reading childrens books
there you go if that type of content doesnt help nothing will
its really hard.your are not weak for feeling weakened.you are not failing
you are struggling with a very real struggle on our world.
just sit for aminute and take some really deep belly breathes.not from the chest but right from the belly.its ok,i know its not but its ok.

ps try not to think about the future.or the what ifs.or the whys.its inst somethingyou can comprehend or bring reason to.uts not something you can understand or make better by sitting and thinking on,you cant work through something like this.so focus on the here and now and what you can do.what you can do to bring a little comfort to yourself.dont let your head wander offf into thinking about it.and that not burying your head away from truth its simply something you cab
nt fix no matter how much you focus on it,so you have to instead focus on what you can do,what you need to do to ease your fears and give you a feeling of i can do this again

Definitely not unreasonable. I'm just getting through it one day at a time, trying not to think about when I'll see family and friends again, etc. Watching stuff that will cheer me up. Reading the sort of novel I usually only take on holiday. Trying to get showered seems like the most enormous challenge facing me each day. Managed to get a food delivery after trying for days - including some things our elderly relative needs -now that's done, there's nothing shaping my time until we start to run low on food again!

No idea why I felt so affected by Boris Johnson getting so ill. I got a massive stress headache when I heard about him being admitted to the ICU.

I've reached it the past few days. Just so worried about everything .... if it's a big science/social experiment from the guys who brought us Aktion .

I wouldn't wish how I have been feeling on anyone but I can't tell you how glad I am to hear I'm not alone. Tonight's news about Boris has just about tipped me over the edge, PP's are right though, a cry helps. DH finally admitted he's scared today too, not sure if that made me feel better or worse tbh.

The thought that is keeping me going right now is one from headspace (ironically I had just got myself in a really good place mental health wise- no more hah hah) that however grey, crappy and dismal the sky is with clouds - the clear blue sky is still there above all of that and you just can't see it at the moment. It's twee but that is what I'm hanging onto at the moment.

I'm hitting a lot of walls. I'm trying to be the sort of person to take each day as it comes and enjoy small pleasures but it doesn't come naturally.

Me too, hoping today is a better day - maybe I just need to have a good cry.

I am desperately trying to keep a grip on the positives - however grim they may be. It does look as though infection rates are slowing slightly in other parts of Europe. Before yesterday evening, I had allowed myself to see a chink of light at the end of what will probably still be for a while, a very dark, long tunnel.

PM in intensive care is of course going to shock and upset most people - regardless of where they may be on the political spectrum. It makes us upset for him and his family, for the nation as a whole, and it’s destabilising as it opens up questions such as ‘if a PM can become so ill, then what hope do I or my loved ones have?’

Nobody can really predict how this virus is going to impact each individual. For all the underlying health conditions factors, we have seen 90+ year-olds thankfully recover and younger, fit people tragically lose their lives. It is probably a combination of general health, age, strength of immunity, viral load and just sheer luck.

I shouldn’t imagine that Boris would have been sleeping very well with the amount of stress he has been living with. Stress and lack of sleep does a terrible thing to the immune system. Most of us - the general public - are in positions where this situation is causing us stress but at the same time, we have very little control over any outcomes. The only thing we can control at the moment is our own response to this and our own immediate environment. I am drawn to the news like a moth to a flame at the moment. And the bloody wine. But I am going to try very hard to avoid both. They impact terribly on sleep quality, which is not great if I do end up catching the bloody thing. Plus, I really want to still have my job when all this is over and I need to keep on top of things while wfh.

It’s a shit situation for everyone. Of course we are going to hit the wall from time to time - but try not to let it impact your sleep - we all need our immune systems to be as strong as possible.