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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that this is really sad for the young children?

429 replies

PrettyLittleLiar20 · 06/04/2020 18:30

I’ve got a young child who is so so bored at home. Constantly asks if we can go to the playground. I say no the playground is closed. Can we go to the beach mummy? No because we’re not allowed. Mummy can we go to McDonald’s? No because it’s closed. I’m just so so sad for my DD and im constantly feeling bad because she doesn’t understand any of this. Sad

OP posts:
HoffiCoffi13 · 07/04/2020 18:14

Not a single other child? I’d suspect that is unusual, even for someone ‘old’.

derxa · 07/04/2020 18:23

Not a single other child? I’d suspect that is unusual, even for someone ‘old’. We grew up on a farm. Our cousins were much older and they didn't visit. I mean children of our own age. My mother didn't drive and so didn't ferry us to activities. We were lucky in the sense that we had plenty of space, our parents were there all the time and were interested in us. This was the early 1960s.

HoffiCoffi13 · 07/04/2020 18:25

Ah ok, I thought you meant really old! My grandmother is 87, she had an unusual childhood as her mother died when she was a baby and she was raised by an emotionally distant father with no other family around, but she recalls playing out in the street with lots of other children. My parents are a similar age to you and both also played out a lot with neighbouring children, even though they weren’t taken to toddler groups/playgroups etc.

SleepingStandingUp · 07/04/2020 18:56

Also home schoolers don't suddenly wake up one day and be expected to homeschpmultiple kids whilst holding down a job, or hoem school their additional needs child with no support. Some schools have sent nothing home, other have sent home far more than is needed. It totally isn't the same as horm schoolers.

I'm assuming the likes of Derxa abs NotNowPlzz go into every thread where the op is complaining about a partner who doesn't pull his weight, a teenager in trouble, money worries etc and tell them they aren't allowed to feel sad cos they don't live in a slum, an abusive home etc.

derxa · 07/04/2020 19:12

I'm assuming the likes of Derxa abs NotNowPlzz go into every thread where the op is complaining about a partner who doesn't pull his weight, a teenager in trouble, money worries etc and tell them they aren't allowed to feel sad cos they don't live in a slum, an abusive home etc.
You would assume wrong. I never comment on those threads but I did on this one. The OP is fed up. We're all fed up.

HoffiCoffi13 · 07/04/2020 19:15

And for those people, home schooling is a choice (usually). I’ve never wanted to home school. Especially not with 2 days notice. If I wanted to be a teacher, I’d have trained to be one. I adore my children. As a SAHM with three children I spend a lot of time with them. I am extremely interested in them. I play with them, do crafts with them, take them out to interesting places... I don’t enjoy attempting to teach them.

imamearcat · 07/04/2020 19:18

My kids are 3 and 4.5 and they are loving being at home with mum and dad!! So no I don't feel sorry for them.

Monkeynuts18 · 07/04/2020 20:40

You’re allowed to be sad about whatever you feel sad about OP. Your feelings are perfectly valid.

Incidentally, it’s perfectly possible to be grateful for being alive, healthy, and employed, and to be cognisant of the suffering of people less fortunate, while simultaneously feeling some sadness about things that are less significant in the long run. At least it is if you don’t have the emotional range of a gnat, anyway.

derxa · 07/04/2020 20:50

You’re allowed to be sad about whatever you feel sad about OP. Your feelings are perfectly valid.Incidentally, it’s perfectly possible to be grateful for being alive, healthy, and employed, and to be cognisant of the suffering of people less fortunate, while simultaneously feeling some sadness about things that are less significant in the long run. At least it is if you don’t have the emotional range of a gnat, anyway.
I agree with all of that

BubblesBuddy · 07/04/2020 23:42

If you lived in the countryside you really didn’t necessarily see other dc before you started school. There were not back to back play dates! It didn’t make for an easy transition to school but there wasn’t much choice. And I think I’m a bit older than derxa. Similar issues with no car available for DM and just nothing available for young dc. That’s why I do think young dc will cope. Probably better then their parents.

Durgasarrow · 08/04/2020 01:41

For big kids, it sounds potentially miserable. For little kids, being at home with one's parents sounds like a dream.

VashtaNerada · 08/04/2020 04:45

@Monkeynuts18 is absolutely right. We are allowed to feel sad about the ‘small’ things (personally I’m sad that my DC miss school and that I’m not at work) whilst simultaneously appreciating the plus sides and understanding there is a bigger picture.

Pixxie7 · 08/04/2020 05:21

To be honest I feel more sorry for the teenagers and their parents, teenager strops 24 seven.

PhilCornwall1 · 08/04/2020 05:34

To be honest I feel more sorry for the teenagers and their parents, teenager strops 24 seven.

Nah, don't feel sorry for teens and their parents, it's dead easy. My two (13 and 18) are professional self isolators even when there isn't a pandemic.

They crawl out for food and then crawl back again. We only know they have survived the night when they go for a shower in the morning.

Mumsie43 · 08/04/2020 05:55

Lennonmc
It's surprising how a young child can find entertainment and fun just being around home from sweeping leaves to helping feed the cat.
A spray bottle of water was a hit today
I am happy my child is learning to entertain and find enjoyment in his surroundings at home. Luckily we have space and a garden.
I wouldn't be missing mc Donald's for my children I'd be more happy they are having more substantial meals at home and loving my home baking.
Kids are resilient But I'm old style parenting.
We can all pile into the car and go buy our fast food crap eventually

Klonda · 08/04/2020 08:03

Almost any inconvenience is sad if you think about it.

Isn't it sad that its raining today, so poor little Billy cant go to the park, can't go to the beach, can't even play in the garden? Sad

Yes competitive sadness is a thing and I normally roll my eyes at it, but this is really, really trivial.

WindowOrchid · 08/04/2020 09:51

@Klonda it's not the same at all

If you have a job you reasonably enjoy (I know we'd don't all) and colleagues you like, with a busy social life and lots of activities, imagine if one day your partner said "today you won't be going to work, you won't be seeing your friends or grandparents or doing any activities. But I've got you some nice things to do at home, although I'm working 9-5 and so won't be able to give you much help" and you couldn't understand the explanation and weren't told how long for (rain rarely lasts months and even if it does there are options!) wouldn't you feel your life was turned upside down a bit?

Just like we all do to be honest but at least we can understand why and it's not just (in our minds) mum saying no.

As I mentioned though my DD does seem very happy but I don't think any of these things are trivial if it does end up being months.

It's weird how on most threads on MN people say that nursery is best thing for kids, don't be a SAHM etc and now all of a sudden it's much better for kids to have parents at home all the time (even if working full time). And equally that screen time is marvellous and we should all use more of it!

Of course there's no alternative, lockdown is the right thing but a parent's job is to be concerned about a child's wellbeing and development which is why we are sad. But I agree that the way parents frame it and how they deal with it is very important as that's what kids will look to

Heygirlheyboy · 08/04/2020 09:59

Nursery is best? Never heard that. A necessary convenience for us that work I'd have thought. And of course benefits are often pointed out, but not as better than home.

Heygirlheyboy · 08/04/2020 10:00

For anyone genuinely anxious about their small child, janet lansbury and teacher Tom both worth a follow on fb.

MamaBearOnLockdown · 08/04/2020 10:15

Nursery is best? Never heard that.

on MN? It's a standard! So many parents cannot bother to spend any more time than they absolutely have to with their kids, nursery is apparently the very best place for children, not only as childcare for working parents but to give mummy(or daddy) her "free time", even on her days off or when she is not working at all.

Heygirlheyboy · 08/04/2020 10:31

Ie convenience but not as better for the actual kids!

bookworm14 · 08/04/2020 11:10

How can people be so dense? Clearly a rainy day preventing you from going out once is not the same thing as being unable to go anywhere or see anyone for months on end.

bookworm14 · 08/04/2020 11:15

This crisis really is bringing some stupid and unpleasant people out of the woodwork.

Poetryinaction · 08/04/2020 11:22

And the self obsessed.

StrawberrySquash · 08/04/2020 15:23

It is sad. Lots of people had lots of plans that they are now having to cancel and that includes trips to the park with their kids. Just because I'm sad about them, that doesn't mean I don't care about the key workers putting themselves at risk or the people dying. YANBU. Definitely try to make the best of things and focus on what you can do, but you allowed to acknowledge your disappointment.