to think that this is really sad for the young children?

[PrettyLittleLiar20]

I’ve got a young child who is so so bored at home. Constantly asks if we can go to the playground. I say no the playground is closed. Can we go to the beach mummy? No because we’re not allowed. Mummy can we go to McDonald’s? No because it’s closed. I’m just so so sad for my DD and im constantly feeling bad because she doesn’t understand any of this.

SleepingStandingUp
Again, I am not saying it's not sad and frustrating. It's not such a drama that children will be traumatised by it though - unless their parents make it so.
Not seeing your nana for a month or 2 really needn't to be such a big deal, why make it one?

(Obviously assuming they have a healthy household, and none of their parents is bluelighted to A&E and never comes back )

If you give them a proper childhood, no child need to come out of this with their "mental health" damaged .

If your children had been stuck at home with you sick with flu for a couple of weeks, you wouldn't make such a big deal out of it, would you? no need to make things worst for them.

It's not fun, it's not great but it really is not the end of the world for your children!

Little kids care about home most and take their cues from adultsvabout what normal is.

Op that feeling of it going on and on is dreadful. It's a real time to just take one day at a time and pace yourself, as best you can.

My comments are not ridiculous Alsohuman. There are thousands of care worker roles and NHS roles taken by people from overseas. We already have a generation that didn’t want this work and that’s why we have imported labour. That is statistically accurate. It’s not just the very young in society who don’t want these jobs. It’s a bit like seasonal farm work. The stats are hardly ridiculous. It’s why so many employers were worried about Brexit and the supply of labour. This is why I am correct that a previous generation of people didn’t want certain jobs either. If you have ever been in a care home or in hospital you will see who is doing which jobs and know we relied on overseas workers who are now risking their lives for us. Also home care workers who get less money and even less thanks.

I do feel parents should try and think what they can do to stimulate their DC. In different ways from the usual rota of activities. Make your own beef burger! Learn where food comes from.

I think having dc at home is harder than work and I was always glad to see Monday when I worked! I worked part time but I do know children are hard work so if you haven’t done it much, it’s a big challenge. We all have resourcefulness though and DC will be perfectly ok if we don’t dwell on the negative and mourn what we don’t have.

Not seeing your nana for a month or 2 really needn't to be such a big deal, why make it one? but the concept of a month or two is forever when you're 4. You can't cross it off on a calendar because none of us know when it will end. You don't want to over labour the dying aspect to a 4 yo because you're going to give them nightmares. If you see a family member every day or every other day and that suddenly stops it IS a big deal and saying we'll in 5 years time or we'll if you were in Africa or well Mab never had any grandparents doesn't change that.
And if Nanny disappeared one day not to return for months, why not Daddy or Mommy?

We can acknowledge our kids pain and then move on with them, just as we could with each other on here.

Mine aren't sad, they're 7 and 4 and having the time of their lives. Nothing to do with me, they just seem to be organising themselves into activities and having as much fun as possible. They're arguing less than usual and seem to actually like each other for once!

I think it depends on the age of the child. I have four of various ages, one who is absolutely fine with it and says he's not bothered about going back to school, one who cries a lot about random things so I think is pretty stressed and two who are fairly neutral and have got used to things. They will be fine (assuming they don't catch the virus) and hopefully will be more grateful for what they can do after this - for a week or so anyway

There is a sizeable consituency of people on MN who find social interaction hard and/or avoid it in the normal run of things (but still come here, so obviously feel the need for something it provides). I think that's probably colouring the view on here. What strikes me still more is how readily - certainly as viewed on here - people are letting out their fear and anxiety and shoring up their self-image during this time by attacking others, not allowing others the space to voice their small or even not-so-small sadnesses, playing hardship top trumps, trying to present themselves as better people (better lockdown-ees, better social distancers, more caring citizens, the list goes on) than others. Obviously there are also marvellous selfless acts going on up and down the country, and the relatively anonymous online environment of MN has always lent itself to letting off steam rather viciously at times, but I do wonder at the picture much of MN presents of what 'we' are and what we resort to when things get difficult. There must be very few people right now who are not in need of the understanding and compassion of their fellow human beings, in one way or another.

I also agree that MN (ironically) reveals a deep social seam of dislike of children in general, in normal times, but now especially.

Many DC don’t see grandparents from one month to the next anyway! My DNs don’t see theirs and they don’t outwardly appear damaged. Well they don’t think they are damaged. They do not care about their grandparents as a result of this and that is a personality defect in my view. However it’s lazy uncaring parent driven. A parent who cares will ensure DC maintain a loving relationship and send them letters and use media to keep in touch. Some grandparents go to Australia for 4 months so we just remind them that grandparents are still around and find other ways of staying in touch.

My ds is 3 and was breaking his heart yesterday when we walked past the park and wanted to play and I said we weren't allowed just now due the nasty bug. He then said he was very sad he couldn't see grandad either 😢. Before anyone says I'm cruel for walking past a park we live very rurally and the park is on every route of the Walks we can do

BubblesBuddy

No they don't, but how is that of any relevance to the ones that do?

My DS sees my mum at least 3 times a week if not 4/5. Every week. He cries every day asking when he can see her again.

I do agree CatteStreet but there is a lot of assertion that because DC are having a change to their lives right now, they will be damaged. They won’t if other activities and learning are substituted. 3 year olds don’t really socialise. I think it’s more difficult for older DC when their friends are far more important. However my DCs rarely saw anyone in the long holidays. They didn’t collapse in a heap.

We can acknowledge our kids pain

my point was more that, as many other parents have done is much much worst circumstances, you can keep things as light as possible for them and save them from having unnecessary pain.

They need to know about the bug, but it's not necessary to show them pile of bodies, people hooked up in hospital, frontline staff in tears, the risk when you try to get them food and so on.
The need to impose your own fear and issues on them is just wrong.

Looking at a young child with tears in your eyes crying "oh my poor baby" how sad is this life for you.. totally unecessary.

That’s very sad, pishposhpashy. How would he react if they went away on holiday for months? They might have wanted to do that but I guess they look after your DS? Will they ever be able to go away with this level of attachment and upset if they do? Many DC can rationalise not seeing someone. Can they Skype? Write letters? Do a drawing? Speak on the phone? It’s not a complete catastrophe not seeing grandparents and he will see them again with any luck.

Having an emotional range that is greater than that of the average teaspoon, I find that I can actually feel emotions on multiple levels. "Sad" can cover a massive emotional range from short-lived petty disappointment to years of gut wrenching grief. Having gone through gut wrenching grief a few times, acknowledging the little emotions is vital for healthy mental well-being, I can remember the gratitude of warm sunshine to sooth my soul in the early days of rawest grief, I can still feel trivial sadness despite having gone through the experience that my dad died suddenly while I was still a child, and the losses of other close family. One extreme does not diminish my concern that my 6yo misses playing pokemon cards and football with his friends and that my 9 yo's ASD will make it difficult to return to socialising in a busy world on the other side of this.

OP is not unreasonable. I'm grateful that my DCs have each other's company, are old enough to entertain themselves and understand why normality is suspended. I haven't forgotten the difficulties of the toddler/ pre-school days, particularly when SPD/ birth injuries/ chicken pox substantially reduced my opportunities to get out of the house and socialise for about 6 months, and it was fucking lonely having limited adult company for a prolonged period and trying to manage a senistive toddler (if only I'd known about the ASD...) Some young children really can not be entertained with lots of wholesome crafts and playing with mummy. Hell, the memory of my attempts at that shit still gets my heart racing at the memory of the inevitable meltdowns because it was never perfect! Some children are very difficult to entertain in the home and need lots of outdoor experience beyond their garden.

Acknowledging emotions with perspective is important. Dismissing them and brushing them under the carpet just because someone will always be going through worse can be toxic.

There are thousands of care worker roles and NHS roles taken by people from overseas. We already have a generation that didn’t want this work and that’s why we have imported labour. That is statistically accurate

The first sentence is correct. The rest isn’t, as evidenced below.

files.digital.nhs.uk/B3/9A1EB0/Equality%20and%20diversity%20NHS%20Trusts%20and%20CCGs%20March%202019.xlsx

BogRollBOGOF you've nailed exactly how I feel about it. Totally agree.

Looking at a young child with tears in your eyes crying "oh my poor baby" how sad is this life for you.. totally unecessary
I don't think anyone is saying this is what they're doing. Just privately feeling sad whilst keeping cheery and positive outwardly.

YABU. They’re only kids; they’ll get over it because they won’t even remember it.

Just privately feeling sad whilst keeping cheery and positive outwardly.

kids pick up on a lot more than you'd think. You know your child will go back to playgrounds, to McDonalds and see their friends!

No one has ever considered for a minute that children could be damaged because they were stuck at home with chicken pox for a couple of weeks. Some people are making too much of a big deal out of nothing.

There's more than enough drama, why make it worst?

How would he react if they went away on holiday for months?

I mean, I have no idea but I can't see her doing this as she doesn't like travelling.

They might have wanted to do that but I guess they look after your DS?

Your assumption is completely incorrect, he is in nursery while I work. Mum works full time in any case and as I note above, she doesn't like travelling.

Will they ever be able to go away with this level of attachment and upset if they do? Many DC can rationalise not seeing someone.

Well mine can't, maybe he's defective . I come from a culture where the extended family is extremely important, we aren't insular like so many families in this country are.

Yes of course we can skype, but it isn't even a little bit as good as having a cuddle from your Nonna.

I don't object to the lockdown but please let's not pretend that it isn't going to affect children, because it will.

Also, a holiday isn't remotely comparable as you know it has an end date and you know when that end date will come. And, if grandparents are on holiday, you can still carry on as normal - going to nursery, outings - you know, normal life.

No one has ever considered for a minute that children could be damaged because they were stuck at home with chicken pox for a couple of weeks. Some people are making too much of a big deal out of nothing.

This isn't even a little bit comparable to staying in for 2 weeks with chickenpox.

I understand that people will all be affected differently based on their lifestyle, personalities and circumstances.

in our house DS2 is probably most affected. He's home from uni but is currently in his first serious relationship but obvs is not seeing his girlfriend. He's the most social of us and would normally be out with friends or visiting girlfriend or out and about. At the moment he spends about 3 hours during the night face-timing with girlfriend then sleeping until mid afternoon.

I'm working from home but off this week as we were supposed to be in the lakes. I miss being able to pop out for the odd thing. Since I'm stuck at home, i could have planted up my outside pots but obvs can'r as I have no plants.

Dh is NHS but off this week also.

DS2 spends most of his when not at uni in his room anyway.

We all like going for a nice meal but aren't really that social. Both sets of parents are already dead. DS1 and DH normally go to the gym a few times a week but luckily DH had bought some equipment for the garage at the beginning of the year as the gym was very busy with new year resolution people so they've been using that instead.

We are lucky to be so antisocial!

This isn't even a little bit comparable to staying in for 2 weeks with chickenpox.

why not? HOW is it different for the child who is told to stay home, is not allowed outside, to meet his friends, go to the playground?

Seriously, my only memory of childhood up to age 10 was having chicken pox in the long hot summer of 1976(?) and the water shortages when we had stand pipes on the end of each road. I am sure for my parents having to collect water in a bucket was awful but I don’t remember any pain, other than not being able to have the sprinkler on.