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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think just because its lockdown doesn't mean you can forget birthdays

229 replies

pheasanteggs · 06/04/2020 12:07

Parents and siblings announced that they're not sending anything this year. Siblings too. DP says we will do something for my birthday after lockdown.

As a creative person I think birthdays can be extra special during lockdown. Birthdays should be celebrated. Here are ideas on how to make someones birthday special during a lockdown for anyone who needs ideas

-Make an incredibly ambitious cake together, finding creative inspiration online

  • treasure hunt involving clues leading to a gift
  • beautiful walk with whoever you are self-isolating with
  • picnic at home in the garden
  • decorate the kitchen with lots of birthday signs
  • birthday music
  • games night with friends and family online over video chat
  • With kids its easier, kids party games, musical statues and musical bumps
  • Moon pig and other online card companies if you can't leave the house
  • Many online gift companies are still operating
  • Movie night with popcorn
  • 3 course fancy meal with decorated table
  • buy a kit and make cocktails, soap
  • hang a sign from your window 'Happy birthday X'

If you're lucky enough to have a garden or have kids it's easier.

OP posts:
EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 07/04/2020 20:06

Many people have got so much in their mind right now

I forgot my nieces birthday I don’t feel guilty too much is going on

dimotikopp · 07/04/2020 20:22

We have just celebrated my ds 16th bday and my dd 14th. I made the cake for my son and ordered my daughters (ds has allergies so always a homemade cake for him). Aunta,uncles and grandparents sent money, and all zoomed in to see the kids blow out their candles :) my dad sent the kids an enigma gram (theenigmagram.com/) that went down really well and kept them busy for about an hour. For my ds,because it was a special birthday,I had everyone write him a letter which was really lovely-I will put them into a scrapbook I am making for him for when he leaves home. The letters were sent by email to me and I printed them out as we currently have no post coming into the country. On the morning of their birthdays I filled the living room with balloons for my ds, and for my dd I put up the Xmas tree and decorated it with the lights and toilet paper-we played games and they got to choose a favourite meal.

Mumgonenuts2020 · 07/04/2020 20:36

I still have my Mother’s Day gift on the table.. 😢 I have just ordered some stamps online so I can send her birthday card at the end of April 😄😵😵

Winnipegdreamer · 07/04/2020 20:52

This is what it’s like to have a January birthday 😬

Paintedmaypole · 07/04/2020 20:56

You can buy stamps online and also pay postage online if you already have a gift and getting to the post office is a problem. There are plenty of things you can order online and have sent directly ( the postal service is running normally here but it sounds as if it isn't everywhere). If the gift will fit it can be posted at the nearest post box. I am not sure whether ordering online is a bad or good thing. Especially for smaller businesses are we helping them keep going or putting people at risk? I think if possible it is good to acknowledge people's birthdays and cheer them up a bit.

Pawsandnoses · 07/04/2020 20:59

I wouldn't be bothered about celebrating my own, but I do think at times like these, it's really important for people to think that they're being thought about. We seem to be stuck in a rut of competitive misery at the moment. Many companies are operating with very few employees and none if minimal risk and actually need people to purchase from them to avoid their businesses going under. I know several small businesses where this has happened, savings dwindled and absolutely no help from the government.

I'll be celebrating my DD's birthday next week. Not how I normally would, and what she wants the most, she can't have anyway (seeing her grandparents)None of us knows what tomorrow brings, particularly in the current situation that we find ourselves.

lightsout · 07/04/2020 21:13

From your title I assumed you meant kids which I feel is different and something they like to get excited about. I don’t think adults ought to be getting stressed and upset over birthday presents or lack thereof. A text or phone call is nice but that’s enough really

Paintedmaypole · 07/04/2020 21:31

I would make an effort for a child or a round number birthday. Unless you are working on the front line or someone close to you is ill I can't see why you wouldn't. I agree that the OPs expectations are a bit high.

SeaSandandSun · 07/04/2020 22:16

It was my special birthday at the start of the lockdown in the country I live in. We had planned a huge fancy dress party. It had to be cancelled.
I got a few little gifts my DH had bought prior (the lockdown surprised him) and DH, DD and I put on our party gear, had a little dance around, I made a themed buffet and we put on appropriate music and tv.
I loved it! I was the one that made it happen really. My DH was freaked out. My DD upset. I made the most of it. I’m an adult and that’s what we do. I only made the effort since DD was upset at missing the party!
I have bigger things to worry about right now. I hope I see my parents again. My diabetic sister might not make it.
I’m not stressing over not being able to cash cheques or whether I go without the birthday presents I missed. I’ll go without.

CatterySlave1 · 07/04/2020 23:18

I’ve had 2 family and 1 friends birthday in the past 5 days. My DGD turned 10 and we’d sent down a card and a couple of previously bought gifts with an IOU for something later on. But she had a lovely day anyway with a local family walk and a cake made by mum! Next my friends husband couldn’t get to the shops so made a card on the pc and printed it and she was absolutely thrilled with the thought in it. They had a nice evening meal and she baked herself a cake so another lovely day. I picked her some flowers from my garden, wrapped in silver foil (all while wearing gloves) and left them and a card on her garden wall. Yesterday my DS turned 27, we FaceTime’d and had a lovely chat. We’d ordered a gift 7 days ago from Zara to be delivered and posted a card on a walk. He planned a boost evening with friends playing games and chatting via an app called Houseparty apparently.
The thing is birthdays are important in showing friends and family that we love them. Even more so now. Who knows if we’ll get to do it next year? It doesn’t have to be big or expensive, just to show them that you are thinking of them especially now more than ever

CatterySlave1 · 07/04/2020 23:22

Boozy not boost evening! Autocorrect agghh

Petiolaris · 07/04/2020 23:25

Good luck getting flour and eggs. Most of what you’ve suggested are non essential purchases too.

Whiskersandtwitch · 07/04/2020 23:33

I don't want the added stress right now of trying to shop during lockdown for someone's birthday and card. I'm glad nobody in my family has a birthday for a while.

Krisskrosskiss · 07/04/2020 23:35

I think your partner should do something at least! It's my birthday soon and I still expect a card and a gift... even if it's just some chocolate or something... you can still get cards from moonpig or with your supermarket food shop.. theres no excuse for a partner ignoring a birthday completely... obv you cant go anywhere or have a party but I'd expect some kind of token gesture.. because I wouldnt just ignore my partners birthday...
I mean its Easter on sunday and both my family and my husbands family have sent eggs cards and money for the kids... and my family are in Italy and theyve managed to send stuff!

GarlicSoup · 07/04/2020 23:39

Bloody hell OP I’m sure the postal service will be delighted to risk their lives for orders of cards and soap kits. Ffs get your priorities right.

MigginsMrs · 07/04/2020 23:43

I wouldn't be bothered about celebrating my own, but I do think at times like these, it's really important for people to think that they're being thought about. We seem to be stuck in a rut of competitive misery at the moment. Many companies are operating with very few employees and none if minimal risk and actually need people to purchase from them to avoid their businesses going under. I know several small businesses where this has happened, savings dwindled and absolutely no help from the government.

This. It’s my son’s birthday today and I ordered him some stuff and we made a nice dinner and cake. It’s my birthday next month and I’ll be annoyed if anyone puts themselves at risk for it. Just another day for me

Rachel709 · 08/04/2020 00:04

You are needy. A child's birthday yes, an adult meh.

ddl1 · 08/04/2020 08:44

It depends. I think if you want to celebrate, there are indeed ways of doing so, even in lockdown. However, not everyone wants to. I absolutely hate my birthday, and just want to be allowed to forget it. And even people who normally do want to celebrate it may be so preoccupied with fear and anxiety about the virus itself, or about the effects on their relationships, job or finances, that they simply have no time or energy to think about celebrations.

mamaduckbone · 08/04/2020 09:05

It's my SIL's birthday today and she has asked us to postpone it until after lockdown - I did look at online gifts etc but it felt too non-essential, especially as she has asked us not to. Likewise going to the post office for stamps etc. I will send her good wishes and get her something lovely when I can.

I agree you can do something with the people in your household to celebrate though, in whatever way you can. It's a bit sad not to do anything at all.

Kimbob33 · 08/04/2020 09:23

My daughter was 16 last week, she’s also feeling upset to begin with for having to leave school prematurely, not being able to have their leavers celebrations etc or doing her GCSEs which of course she does totally understand and accepts. Still effected her mental well-being. She’s mostly over it but I didn’t want to let her ‘special 16th’ pass without some kind of celebration. I decorated the whole house with banners, balloons, etc some of which we printed out from the internet but enough to show her it was a special day. We had a birthday cake and a family party at home (just our household) and I managed to get her a few presents whilst doing my weekly shop. Ok they wouldn’t have been what I would normally have gotten her but luckily I did get her main present months ago which is JLS reunion tickets. (Hopefully as this isn’t until December this will still take place) but yes, I think times are tough enough at the moment so it is important to celebrate birthdays as much as you can while keeping to the restrictions. Although I do understand that outside presents cards etc will have to take place once normality is resumed.
There is plenty of creative things people can do at home without affecting anyone outside of their homes. Happy birthday to you OP. Cake

Ukholidaysaregreat · 08/04/2020 09:36

The OP is merely giving some suggestions for nice ideas using what you have. You are getting a rough ride OP. I think it is nice to mark an occasion and you can do something else when lock down is over'!

Ludways · 08/04/2020 09:45

It's my birthday this week. I'll be really happy if anyone marks the occasion but I won't mind if they don't. Your DH is probably upset for you and knows no matter what he does if wont be what you want, so he thinks he's doing a lovely thing by giving you something to look forward to. I think that's fine and it is in fact what I've said I'll do. I probably won't bother in the end, because I'm an adult.

grafittiartist · 08/04/2020 09:49

I agree op- birthdays are still birthdays.
There are loads of other ways to make it a special day.
Phone calls/ zoom, silly messages, all sorts. It's the marking of the day that's more important than the gift.

thesnailandthewhale · 08/04/2020 10:03

As someone who sells cards at events / craft fairs etc, my small business is struggling due to the events being cancelled. Online sales are keeping us going! It's not just birthdays though is it, its anniversaries, new babies, sympathy cards or just a 'thinking of you' note through the post - very special at this time especially to older relatives who may be alone.

Diggo83 · 08/04/2020 10:14

It is nice to have your birthday celebrated but at the same time it is an unusual situation so you cant expect a birthday with all the frills. it is my birthday coming up I have told my wife not to worry about it and that there is no need to try to do anything as it is difficult at the moment, that being said she has been furloughed so is doing things like baking to fill her time. We are just trying to do things to make each other special, that it is your birthday doesn't give you a divine right to be made to feel special, it is very selfish to demand that all focus should be on you.