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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think just because its lockdown doesn't mean you can forget birthdays

229 replies

pheasanteggs · 06/04/2020 12:07

Parents and siblings announced that they're not sending anything this year. Siblings too. DP says we will do something for my birthday after lockdown.

As a creative person I think birthdays can be extra special during lockdown. Birthdays should be celebrated. Here are ideas on how to make someones birthday special during a lockdown for anyone who needs ideas

-Make an incredibly ambitious cake together, finding creative inspiration online

  • treasure hunt involving clues leading to a gift
  • beautiful walk with whoever you are self-isolating with
  • picnic at home in the garden
  • decorate the kitchen with lots of birthday signs
  • birthday music
  • games night with friends and family online over video chat
  • With kids its easier, kids party games, musical statues and musical bumps
  • Moon pig and other online card companies if you can't leave the house
  • Many online gift companies are still operating
  • Movie night with popcorn
  • 3 course fancy meal with decorated table
  • buy a kit and make cocktails, soap
  • hang a sign from your window 'Happy birthday X'

If you're lucky enough to have a garden or have kids it's easier.

OP posts:
Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 06/04/2020 14:58

Chillicheese123

How much fun is a quiz on zoom going to be between me, my husband and our daughter?

As for presents I literally have no idea. I keep looking on Amazon but there's little available on there now. I had a cake on order but can't get it to our daughter and don't know if the cake maker will even still be making it. I can't figure out what to do.

Just buy any old toot from Amazon, just to send something?

MadinMarch · 06/04/2020 14:58

It's my DD's 21st birthday in May. She's not living with me at the moment and it saddens me that we'll probably still be in lockdown.
I'm going to try to make her a slideshow film with photos and background music, and hopefully some text to go with it too.
I'm not a techy person so this will be a real labour of love. She's worth it though!
I'll likely be making a thresd of my own soon, for advice about how to do it

SoftSheen · 06/04/2020 14:59

QuestionMarkNow

Someone who was relying on foodbanks before the lockdown would, sadly, have been struggling with or without the lockdown.

You can still celebrate on a tight budget. A homemade card, homemade cake (or maybe a muffin with a candle in it!) cost very little.

OmgThereAreNoPlanesAboveMeNow · 06/04/2020 14:59

Please don't put extra strain on mail services just because someone can't be without a cardConfused We are already getting mail with delays.

My birthday are this month, before lock up ends for sure. Can't do anything about the situation. Tried to think about a present but what I wanted is kind of useless when not going anywhere. So we will wait when this is over, save up a bit on top and do something cool or go somewhere new. I might get a cake. But maybe not. He will certainly grill something for me though. And drinks. That's it.

I am creative and love good fun. Your list sounds exhausting...

Original poster
pheasanteggs · 06/04/2020 15:00

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras could you invite some of your daughters friends to the quiz as a surprise, maybe cousins?

OP posts:
SecretMillionaire · 06/04/2020 15:01

You sound incredibly hard work.

My daughter has a birthday this week and we’ve had to explain to her that we can’t do as much for her as we would normally because of the situation we are in.

She’s a long term cancer patient, she’s been robbed of years of childhood and her ability to have a normal life and deserves to be spoiled but she’s not grumbling anywhere near as much as you.

Give your head a good wobble.

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 06/04/2020 15:01

pheasanteggs

I tried playing a drawing game with her on house party last week - her internet is so abysmal that you just couldn't do it.

Chillicheese123 · 06/04/2020 15:03

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras sorry, I was just assuming you had a larger family to do this with. In my family it would be siblings and inlaws, aunts and uncles, family friend ‘aunts and uncles’, cousins. We are very large family !

Maybe not the quiz then. It doesn’t have to be ‘tat’ from amazon - what about a bottle of champers, that she can pop the cork of to celebrate, and you can do a toast. Or what about sending her a hamper from somewhere nice with treat foods in? Or just a shitload of sweets if she has a sweet tooth? Or books you think she would like, or art supplies? All can get obtained on Amazon prime and sent as gifts. And a simple FaceTime chat, sing happy birthday and make plans for the future when you can see each other again? I know I’d love that if I could do that with my mum.

It’s just about showing her you love her, surely ? Different families do that in different ways. One of my friends family did her a song where they all played instruments, sang etc and put it together in a video. They are a musical family.

Original poster
pheasanteggs · 06/04/2020 15:03

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras you could upgrade her internet? purchase extra 4G just for the evening and she could use that?

OP posts:
Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 06/04/2020 15:05

could you invite some of your daughters friends to the quiz as a surprise, maybe cousins?

How? She's at university, how do I know how to contact her friends plus what are they going to know about her life that I know and vice versa? Her uni friends won't know the part she played in the school play aged 9 are they, just as I won't know things about her life at uni.

Original poster
pheasanteggs · 06/04/2020 15:08

@hearhoovesthinkzebras

Find the contact for one friend and that friend would be able to arrange it with the others. You can get the contact for that friend by asking your daughter. For safety you want the contact of a friend in her city you can reach for emergencies. You can do multiple choice, so no-one knows but everyone has to guess. If you want to make this happen it can.

OP posts:
Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 06/04/2020 15:11

Chillicheese123

Isn't a bottle of champagne while she's on her own at uni a bit horrible?

It's her 21st. How can I send her sweets? I don't know. Where do you get food hampers from? Everywhere seems to be in "survival" mode and none of the luxury stuff seems to available.

Even setting up video calling with grandparents is out because they need people to go and set it up for them, which obviously we can't do.

you could upgrade her internet? purchase extra 4G just for the evening and she could use that?

I don't understand this. What do you mean? She's got 4G on her phone - is that what you mean? She gets a really bad mobile signal so relies on broadband but it just isn't good enough to do what we were trying to do with house party.

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 06/04/2020 15:13

pheasanteggs

There isn't a contact in her city. They've all gone home. How can I ask her for the name and number of a uni friend? She'll think I've taken leave of my senses.

Bunnyfuller · 06/04/2020 15:13

Can you tell us your ideas for a not-in-lockdown birthday please?

MysticMeghan · 06/04/2020 15:14

It was my birthday on Friday. My DD is ill (she had a bad accident at University few weeks ago and after being discharged from casualty hasn't left the house) and the gift my DH ordered weeks ago still hasn't arrived. My friend sent a card and gift weeks ago, so that was the only thing I had. DH got up early and made me breakfast in bed and also made lunch. I am a key worker WFH and didn't finish until late. I then had a drink whilst DH made dinner, then after dinner I went online with my friend, opened her card and present whilst chatting to her and then watched a movie together online. We had to keep stopping the movie to make sure it was in sync but we chatted by text whilst watching the movie (we do this a few times a year regardless of lockdown because we live 30 mins drive from each other) and it was good fun. After the movie my daughter came downstairs and we made cupcakes. We then chatted until the small hours and went to bed. My presents from my friend were a small bottle of rum and some PJs from a TV show we both love. I wore them to bed. Apart from having to work it was a great day. And I still have DH's present to look forward to (it still hasn't arrived BTW). After this is all over we are going to go out for a meal. If there are any restaurants left.

DareToTiger · 06/04/2020 15:15

Surely this type of thing would just be for a child? An adult wouldn't require such dramatics, unless it's their 50th or something?

We just had a bottle of fizz and a takeaway for mine last week, same as we would if we weren't on lockdown.

heartsonacake · 06/04/2020 15:16

YABU. If you want to make a song and dance about it by all means do, but not everyone needs to.

For grown adults a birthday is just another year older and nobody should be sulking because it isn’t correctly acknowledged.

Chillicheese123 · 06/04/2020 15:17

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras sorry again. I’m just trying to think of suggestions. I’m only in my 20s myself and trying to think of nice things I’d appreciate if I was in that situation. I would love a bottle of champers to myself , maybe I have a problem 😬

Fortnum and Mason, Betty’s Tea Room, Moonpig/Funky Pigeon, and some sellers on Amazon Prime are doing hampers etc. I can send some links if you wanted ?

If you’d prefer to just ignore the birthday and celebrate it when you can, then that’s fine . Just you seemed to want to do something for your dd, so I made suggestions. I’m sure she will have friends who will FaceTime her, make nice posts on social media for her etc.

Original poster
pheasanteggs · 06/04/2020 15:18

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras same idea just ask for a emergency contact of one of her friends. Or you can just say your planning something for her birthday and would like the contact of her friends

OP posts:
Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 06/04/2020 15:18

Can you tell us your ideas for a not-in-lockdown birthday please

Is that to me?

If so, I've got a huge birthday cake ordered. The idea was for either DD to come home here and we were going out for dinner with us and her grandparents, or, if she couldn't come here because of uni, we were all going there.

She had a weekend of partying planned with her uni friends which won't happen now because they've all gone home.

Her present was tickets for a concert that she really wanted to go to ( probably now cancelled) plus a piece of jewellery as a keep sake.

DavetheCat2001 · 06/04/2020 15:19

@WeAllHaveWings takeaways round here seem to be ok for now. Our lical curry house jyst knock and leave it on the doorstep. No ET suit necessary 😊

Chillicheese123 · 06/04/2020 15:19

@DareToTiger I said to my DP today a bottle of pink gin and a Dominos would make my entire year for my birthday, so think that’s what we will do !

Original poster
pheasanteggs · 06/04/2020 15:19

@Bunnyfuller I always try and do surprise parties or have a surprise element to it. I use nice decorations and get the people together that we really care about for some DIY games such as Pictionary. For my friends birthday I made a special punch. I try something new each time.

OP posts:
Chillicheese123 · 06/04/2020 15:20

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras how come your dd had to stay at Uni?

BestIsWest · 06/04/2020 15:21

It’s mine this week. I’ve told everyone not to worry and we’ll celebrate when all this is over. I’m planning a lovely quiet day with my feet up watching old films.

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