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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think just because its lockdown doesn't mean you can forget birthdays

229 replies

pheasanteggs · 06/04/2020 12:07

Parents and siblings announced that they're not sending anything this year. Siblings too. DP says we will do something for my birthday after lockdown.

As a creative person I think birthdays can be extra special during lockdown. Birthdays should be celebrated. Here are ideas on how to make someones birthday special during a lockdown for anyone who needs ideas

-Make an incredibly ambitious cake together, finding creative inspiration online

  • treasure hunt involving clues leading to a gift
  • beautiful walk with whoever you are self-isolating with
  • picnic at home in the garden
  • decorate the kitchen with lots of birthday signs
  • birthday music
  • games night with friends and family online over video chat
  • With kids its easier, kids party games, musical statues and musical bumps
  • Moon pig and other online card companies if you can't leave the house
  • Many online gift companies are still operating
  • Movie night with popcorn
  • 3 course fancy meal with decorated table
  • buy a kit and make cocktails, soap
  • hang a sign from your window 'Happy birthday X'

If you're lucky enough to have a garden or have kids it's easier.

OP posts:
amusedbush · 06/04/2020 12:40

It's my 30th in May and I'm fully expecting it to be shite. Our holiday has been cancelled and I may not even be able to see friends or family.

I'm trying not to wallow as so many others have it worse than I do, but I was really looking forward to this birthday as my 18th and 21st were both awful.

TiredofSM · 06/04/2020 12:41

Started to read your post but couldn’t get past ‘me me me me me me me’.

AHippoNamedBooBooButt · 06/04/2020 12:41

I stopped reading your list when I got to moonpig. It was a family members birthday over the weekend, I went to moonpig to order a card but they had stopped taking orders. I get it's a shit time right now for a birthday, but you will have another next year, and the year after..... you can kinda miss one

madcatladyforever · 06/04/2020 12:44

You have to be on the ball because if you order on amazon or whatever it now takes much longer, a week or so. Same for Moonpig etc.
I'd prefer not to get a gift in from outside in case it's infected in some way but I've just made my mum a crosstitch card for her birthday, with gloves on, because it shows I took the time to make something personal for her. I told her I'd give her her gift after it's safe. She's fine with that and we had a nice birthday chat on skype.
I think it's nice if some kind of effort is made such as handmade cards and a cake from the people you live with not just a grumpy face - couldn't go out to get anything this year response.
I always want to reply with: You can do your own washing and cooking until coronavirus is over then you miserable git.

Dylaninthemovies1 · 06/04/2020 12:45

Oh God, you sound like hard work. It’s my birthday in May and probably still in lockdown. All it want is a long lie

madeleinefrensch · 06/04/2020 12:46

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Applejaxx · 06/04/2020 12:47

I will never understand grown adults who expect special treatment on their birthdays, it’s childish and needy. Unless it’s a milestone it’s just another day IMO.

WeAllHaveWings · 06/04/2020 12:48

In the circumstances a phone call to wish happy birthday is enough!

Sorry OP, but you sound like one of those people who go OTT for others then get pissed off when others don't make a huge effort and do it your way.

Iwouldratherbemuckingout · 06/04/2020 12:49

And your suggestions for those of us who live alone?

DavetheCat2001 · 06/04/2020 12:55

Mine is this Friday and I have asked for a takeaway and wine

Seventyone72seventy3 · 06/04/2020 13:00

It's my birthday this week and I would like someone to make a cake. We have the ingredients. I have done 99% of the cooking since we were locked down over a month ago. I don't think this is too much to ask but nobody has said they will try.

VegetableMunge · 06/04/2020 13:06

A lot of people are really struggling to balance everything being demanded of them right now. If I were your adult sibling, marking your birthday with a games night would not be top of the priority list. And a lot of people are choosing not to order non-essentials at the moment. I'd expect your partner to cook you a nice meal, garden picnic or whatever type of thing you might like within the confines of lockdown though.

ohtheholidays · 06/04/2020 13:16

We've just had our oldest DS's birthday,he has his own place so we couldn't be with him for his birthday which was hard for us but he's been brilliant and was more worried about me(I'm immunosuppressed)but we ordered him presents and his Dad managed to buy him cards a birthday cake and a large bottle of gin,we wrapped everything up,wrote the cards and my DH text him when he put it all on his doorstep for him.

He was over the moon bless him,this is the second birthday we've had to sort out since lockdown,my BFF's birthday party had to be cancelled and she was widowed last year(after only 4 years of marriage)and she has no family near her so we made sure to order her presents,cards a birthday cake and a large bottle of gin,we even sent some birthday candles for her cake and she cried when she saw what we'd done bless her,lockdown or no lockdown I needed to let her know that there were people out there thinking of her.

The next one is my DH's and I know we'll have at least 2 more birthdays for 2 of our DC(birthdays in june)to do whilst in lockdown.

Anything that has had to be bought from a shop/supermarket we have bought whilst doing our essential shopping.

It can be done but that depends on if the person/people have the money and can find what they're looking for without putting themselves or anyone else at risk.

SuperlativeScrubs · 06/04/2020 13:17

My birthday was yesterday. ExH grabbed a present for me from the kids when he had them, so they woke me up singing happy birthday to open them.

We attempted to make a cake together and played a couple of board games, spoke to grandparents and their Dad over facetime.

In the evening we watched a film together and had pizza.

Best birthday I have had in a very long time tbh!

choc71 · 06/04/2020 13:20

Nice ideas, but I'm still stumped as to how to make DS1s 18th birthday special on Sunday. I've found somewhere delivering contact free takeaways, I've got the family to download House Party ... that's as far as we've got with ideas.

WeAllHaveWings · 06/04/2020 13:20

@DavetheCat2001 have you had a takeaway since the lockdown?

We had a knock at the door a couple of nights ago and it was someone delivering a takeaway (wrong address) and they were dressed in hat/glasses/mask and elbow length gloves. Not sure if was to protect me or him, but that would put me right off as a treat!!!!

They might not all be like that but just warning you incase you arent expecting it! (get more wine instead!!!)

Ginfordinner · 06/04/2020 13:22

It's my cousin's birthday today. It is also a significant one. She can't see one of her (adult) children and hasn't received the gift I ordered online. She has had to cancel her trip away, so, instead she is having an online Zoom party tonight.

It is what is it, and I'm sure that she will make up for it when things get back on track.

WhentheRabbitsWentWild · 06/04/2020 13:24

Its my birthday on Friday and I have my cards here that were all posted.

It won't be the same as usual but its one year . Will make up for it after Lockdown (same with my son whose birthday was end of March).

Happy Birthday OP Flowers

BogRollBOGOF · 06/04/2020 13:24

DS2 is 7 in the next week. Old enough to know it's his birthday and young enough to know that turning 7 is a big thing Wink

I bought the presents a month ago suspecting that the shops would be shut by now. He has been reassured/ warned that yes he has presents, but no, I can not accomodate any changes of mind.

I bought the cake last week when food shopping, plus balloons. The cake will still be in date and I wanted to get it sooner rather than later.

I will put up fairy lights to do something a little fun and special.

Any attention from wider family is a bonus.

The next birthday is next month and it will have to be just a send the card through the post.

pleasepleasepleasehelp · 06/04/2020 13:24

@WeAllHaveWings

Sorry OP, but you sound like one of those people who go OTT for others then get pissed off when others don't make a huge effort and do it your way.

This. ^

Bet the OP also does BIG things for peoples birthdays, and then gets angry and pissy when people don't return the favour.

@pheasanteggs YABU, and you sound like bloody hard work.

LolaSmiles · 06/04/2020 13:25

I think people do what they can for their children during lockdown and any adult whining that their birthday wasn't made special enough during lockdown needs to get a grip.

I've nothing against doing nice things for birthdays either before I get accused of being a misery guts.

anothernotherone · 06/04/2020 13:29

Those are mostly for the person/ people you live with. Your parents and siblings living elsewhere can't do most of that.

Moonpig and ordering online to be delivered directly to the person is good of you usually give cards and presents. Otherwise a phone call or video chat if you're comfortable with that.

I'm not sure why you keep saying it's easier if you have children? Do you mean because there are more people in the house? It's more upsetting for children to miss the usual birthday specialness with school/ friends than adults who've had lots of birthdays and don't usually do much... People have very different attitudes and expectations around birthdays depending on what's normal in their family of origin - it can be a big culture clash. Some adults expect a lot and for some it's no big deal.

Holothane · 06/04/2020 13:29

I’ll be happy with my favourite chocolate and dvd.

katienana · 06/04/2020 13:32

We have made a Happy Birthday sign. We plan to send a video message of the kids holding it to everyone with a birthday this month. They will all think we did it just for them!

feelinguseless101 · 06/04/2020 13:32

However, many people are struggling financially, practically and mentally at the moment, so I wouldn’t be offended if any celebrations were paused for now.

I happened to need to go shopping today so bought a card for a friend whilst there. I wouldn't have done a special trip for it.

There is a supply shortage of food here, particularly flour, so an ambitious cake would seem like a waste, especially with only 2 adults and a preschooler to eat it.

DH and I are juggling both working full time (me, NHS and DH in a critical industry) and care of 2 young children. We've got enough to do.

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