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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

... to visit grand children after 2 weeks' isolation?

175 replies

RidingOn · 06/04/2020 08:25

They are aged 7 and 9, their father is a single parent, who is working from home. They're OK, no emergency, but I thought he might like some help and a bit of a break.

I don't want to do anything against govt guidelines, but as children of separated parents are allowed to visit both parents, I thought that might apply to (youngish, healthy) grandparents too? Does anyone know? Especially as both households have been in isolation for two weeks, so it's unlikely any of us is carrying it.

OP posts:
SchadenfreudePersonified · 06/04/2020 08:47

No NO NONONONONO!

A thousand times NO!

MulticolourMophead · 06/04/2020 08:48

The DC and I would love to see my dad and DBro (he lives with Dad for the moment), we had weekly get togethers before this.

But we don't. Because the rules say no visiting.

The sooner everyone sticks to the rules, the sooner we might be able to get back to normal.

wildcherries · 06/04/2020 08:48

The entitlement boggles the mind. No.

MayTheGodsBeEverInYourFavour · 06/04/2020 08:48

Put it this way. If one of you comes down with the virus, & then another one does several days later, & either dies or suffers lung or kidney damage as a result, will it have been worth it?

The virus can be transmitted on hard surfaces, & can possibly live on some for several days. Find a way to deal with not seeing your DGCs for a while.

YeahWhatevver · 06/04/2020 08:50

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Hotpinkangel19 · 06/04/2020 08:50

Oh, FFS. NO!!!!!

prisonofficersareimportanttoo · 06/04/2020 08:51

Unequivocally you are being very unreasonable and you know it.

My in-laws would do anything to see their grandchildren and have a hug but they know it is for the best that we are not visiting (expect when I drop their shopping at their doorstep and then move away).

Facetime/skype/even a bog standard phone call. There are some excellent ways at keeping in touch.

I assume for whatever reason the mum is no longer on the scene, but this doesn't mean that you become the permitted household to visit as they are not your children and it is not essential that you maintain contact with them in the same way as parents should.

Muchtoomuchtodo · 06/04/2020 08:52

YABVU.

You are not allowed to visit or meet with people from other households.

It’s that simple.

FaceTime them, phone them if that’s too tricky. DO NOT VISIT.

AtrociousCircumstance · 06/04/2020 08:52

So if you were allowed, and every other grandparent was also allowed, do you think that it would:

A) help stop the killer virus and save lives

Or

B) Spread the virus far and wide and kill many, many more people?

RuggerHug · 06/04/2020 08:52

No. My mother last saw her grandchildren the day she buried her husband. If she's able to get over the fact she can't see them for a cuddle or a distraction from the shit she's dealing with then you can get over yourself.

inlectorecumbit · 06/04/2020 08:53

sorry hit wrong button
YABU

Apolloanddaphne · 06/04/2020 08:54

Absolutely not. Stay at home like the majority of us are doing.

StewPots · 06/04/2020 08:54

I have a horrible feeling on all these types of threads that the people asking if they can do things will just do them regardless of whether they ABU or not.

They just post to alleviate their guilt of doing something they know is wrong and will base that action on one like minded person saying yes you can do that.

Selfish and irresponsible. And for the record OP, no you bloody well can't. Stay. Home. FFS.

JudyCoolibar · 06/04/2020 08:55

Why be so aggressive? OP made a simple request, people are building up a whole structure of personal attacks based on allegations of selfishness and entitlement. Does it make you feel good being gratuitously nasty when all you need to respond with is "No"?

TheLadyAnneNeville · 06/04/2020 08:55

No. Don’t do it.

GrateBallsofMozzarella · 06/04/2020 08:56

No. Don’t go.

HalloumiGus · 06/04/2020 08:57

Jesus. Fucking. Christ.

allthesharks · 06/04/2020 08:58

My parents have in effect been the second parent to my children for the past 3 years. They see them more often than they see their father. They have them the same amount of over nights as their father. My children are missing them more than their Dad. Their Dad is refusing to have them. But in spite of all this, and despite the fact that my mental health is crumbling and I've had some very dark thoughts, my children can't go to my parents. Even though we've all been inside for 3 weeks now and even though it would be best for everyone involved, the rules say that we can't and none of this makes us special enough to believe the rules don't apply to us.

crustycrab · 06/04/2020 08:59

No and I'd bet you haven't all been in isolation for 2 weeks either.

Gazelda · 06/04/2020 09:00

If you were pulled over for whatever reason by the police, and they asked you "where are you going?" And you replied "to visit my grandchildren", what do you think their response would be?

Stay at home.

Pinkdelight3 · 06/04/2020 09:02

Agreed @crustycrab, a lot of people say isolation when they mean distancing. And likely those who look to bend the rules, haven't been as strict as they'd need to be.

OP as he's "Okay" and there's "no emergency", then don't do anything to mess with that equilibrium and make things not okay and an emergency. Stay Home.

caffeinefix · 06/04/2020 09:03

WHY ARE PEOPLE STILL NOT UNDERSTANDING THIS!!!!! ARE YOU STUPID?!

Original poster
RidingOn · 06/04/2020 09:05

Well, that's quite clear!

It was a genuine question, by the way - not looking for loopholes at all, don't feel entitled (if I did I would just go!).

I know everyone is suffering, but people's circumstances are all different, and although simple, one-size-fits-all type rules are useful, there are exceptions, and I think people should be able to ask questions without getting slated for it. Asking questions is not unreasonable, imo.

I agree I am not an exception! I won't be going ...

OP posts:
Etinox · 06/04/2020 09:11

Good call @RidingOn
Most people don’t rtft so stand by for more posts telling you yabu.
4321...

LagunaBubbles · 06/04/2020 09:11

was a genuine question, by the way - not looking for loopholes at all, don't feel entitled (if I did I would just go!)

The guidelines are clear though, what is it about them you didn't understand and make you ask the question in the first place?