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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be annoyed at note through door asking us to clap

252 replies

tainot · 05/04/2020 23:09

Seriously, surely everyone knows about the clapping at this point and would do it if they wanted to/could?

I don't need a note through my door to make me feel crappy for not taking part. I thought at first it was a note asking if anyone needs assistance/shopping etc but nope, just a passive aggressive note thanking everyone for taking part and if those that haven't could join in this week. Eff that.

Don't get me wrong I applaud the NHS and keyworkers and have the upmost respect for them but I'm not clapping for my own practical reasons (getting baby to sleep is hard work, I'm not going to clap/bang pots just to wake them up again).

I'm not sure if it's my own attitude thats the problem or I'm rightly annoyed at people trying to guilt trip us into clapping. I don't need that, I've donated money and food in the last couple of weeks, I go out as little as possible (rarely), I'm doing my bit.

OP posts:
winkywonky · 07/04/2020 18:51

@cam2020 that's why I said they should not have posted a note and it should be something you want to do. I was actually trying to be kind by stating they are missing out. I can't be the only one that feels a massive sense of pride and community spirit while doing it. @mouthbreathingrage one of my neighbours is a 21 year old lad who keeps having his mates around. The other 2 houses are old codgers who dont see the point in clapping but are happy to wander down the shops and out with their dogs more than once a day. So will probably need NHS help at this rate. So wind your neck in.

Bibijayne · 07/04/2020 18:55

Yikes @winkywonky you sound pretty awful. Plenty of keyworkers at work then, toddlers and babies being put to bed etc. I like the clapping, but your attitude sucks.

Jack80 · 07/04/2020 18:56

My mum has a neighbour like this she put on facebook I'm proud that some of our neighbours clapped but all could have it's a shame. This was the first week, we did clap inside and the following week we went to the doorstep and clapped in back and front. People have babies and 8pm isn't a convenient time for all.

MouthBreathingRage · 07/04/2020 18:58

one of my neighbours is a 21 year old lad who keeps having his mates around. The other 2 houses are old codgers who dont see the point in clapping but are happy to wander down the shops and out with their dogs more than once a day.

Nice bit of ageism there. So much for not being lowbrow. Your self indulgent clapping to look at your neighbours does as much for the NHS as any 'old codger' choosing not to. If you're really doing it for the NHS, hoiking your judgy-pants on other completely undermines the sentiment. If the young one or the older couple end up in hospital, they won't question them first on how long they have they clapped for, or how often they went to the shops last Thursday. You know, because they're people doing their job, regardless of what Snobby Sandra thinks of their neighbours' lack of 'morality'.

notthefunkind · 07/04/2020 18:58

I'm a Dr in the ICU (currently with respirator face) I appreciate people wanting to clap but it's not helping. I would as some have said prefer the guarantee of PPE each shift. YANBU at all.

Cam2020 · 07/04/2020 19:00

@winkywonky fair enough! Your response to the OP sounded a bit insulting, but perhaps you didn't mean it to be - you can't read someone's tone Smile.

mamabears3 · 07/04/2020 19:02

I’m an nhs nurse- I would much rather you stayed safely inside, took care of your family and were safe and content. Look after your baby. Clapping or not is an individual choice, we carry on our jobs anyway, giving our very best. For some, they have personal reasons they choose not to take part, those are their own valid private reasons. Nurses respect every individual. We don’t judge. Ignore the letter. I promise I will care you everyone with love, respect, dignity and compassion regardless of if you clapped or not x

winkywonky · 07/04/2020 19:06

@Bibijayne I really don't understand why my attitude sucks. I am being attacked for saying that I think if people can clap they should and the reward they will recieve for it in my opinion is really nice. I thought the first time I went out to be fair was just to join in but it felt really great to be part of something special, bagpipes in the distance, cheers from all around. I was only trying to emphasis that to OP. I have 3 neighbours who are all breaching current regulations but don't bother to clap. Am I judging them, slightly yes. But I see plenty of others calling the police etc on this behaviour. I don't care to go to that extreme or condone people being guilt tripped into clapping. Anyway if OP does not want to try it that's fine with me. As a keyworker myself with young children I am not always home and my kids normally go to bed at 7:30 but I kept them up the second week to take part in something I feel is really quite lovely.

candyflossicecream · 07/04/2020 19:09

The nerve! I would be furious! I think I might write a note saying 'thank you to most of you for not being a complete stinky arseholes, but those of you who are, please stop being a complete stinky arsehole, thanks, bye' and post it through everyone's door.
Clapping is fine but I'm sick to death of the yelling, whooping, pans clanging and car horns and airhorns blaring for a full 10 minutes waking my kid up half an hour after she's gone to sleep.
Clapping and cheering is wonderful, it's nice.
The rest is tacky and annoying.

MouthBreathingRage · 07/04/2020 19:10

@winkywonky, you say you're 'fine' with people not clapping, but also said you 'now know which ones not to bother with' and suggest they don't have a moral compass? Sure thing.

nakedavengerreturns · 07/04/2020 19:16

@winkywonky "I can't be the only one that feels a massive sense of pride and community spirit while doing it"

So you are doing it for yourself then. So you can feel better and have a 'sense of pride'. There is nothing altruistic about this clapping nonsense it's entirely self centred and narcissistic alongside being of absolutely no use whatsoever. And the cheek of saying people who don't do it have no moral compass...

My DH is a key worker and hates it for these reason too. He would just like it if people stopped being selfish arseholes to him while he was at work.

Bibijayne · 07/04/2020 19:18

@MouthBreathingRage exactly. @winkywonky is trying to change the narrative on what she has said after being called out by lots of other posters.

cutebutscary · 07/04/2020 19:22

I’m sick of this neighbourly coerced clapping like seals nonsense, enforced by the clap police in our street too . Each time my daughter has been saved in picu we’ve bought them cakes ( lots of ) much more appreciated than a hand clap I think

Concerned12345 · 07/04/2020 19:23

Why is it on a bloody Thursday?

Noextremes2017 · 07/04/2020 19:25

Do we live in a 'police state' now?

Seems a bit like East Germany before the Berlin Wall came down.

Spy on your neighbours and make sure they do what the Government says...…

Pathetic.

TrishTeres · 07/04/2020 19:45

I have clapped twice now. For everyone working hard at this difficult time. That includes refuse collectors, people who work in retail and anyone working in health or care. But I might stop since some people want to make i about blind support for "the NHS." Errr same NHS that didn't have enough respirators and hadn't even thought of testing kits or PPE. Badly needs reform

Retired65 · 07/04/2020 19:49

We didn't do it our house. Didn't quite see the point.

MouthBreathingRage · 07/04/2020 19:52

Errr same NHS that didn't have enough respirators and hadn't even thought of testing kits or PPE. Badly needs reform

Sorry, @TrishTeres, just to clarify - do you think it's the NHS's fault they dont have the correct equipment? I'm sure I'm misreading that, so I apologise if that's the case.

winkywonky · 07/04/2020 20:00

@Bibijayne I believe the last line in my first post was - My kids love it and I feel you are genuinely missing something special. My narrative has not changed and you are not calling me out, In fact you are becoming a pair of bullies trying to take everything I say out of context. Of course I also do it for me as I am a frontline keyworker. It is a welcome minute of happiness in mine and my families lives other than the worry of me working front line and for that I will not apologise. Not everyone can clap or it is safe to do so. My front door is set back over 10m from the road so it is pretty safe for me and I enjoy it. Oh and I went to school with the young lad over the road, he is only a few years off me. So defo not ageist. But my house party chat will be lit tonight with chat of how snobby and old I am, ya dancer. Peace out.

MouthBreathingRage · 07/04/2020 20:11

@winkywonky, the context of everything you said is there for everyone to read. Including rudely referring to your elderly neighbours as 'old codgers'. You categorically suggested only those with a moral compass go out to clap. If it makes you happy to clap for yourself for being a key worker then jolly good for you. The point is you have no right to be rude about those who don't. It's absolutely none of your business who does or does not.

curlymom · 07/04/2020 20:12

Honestly if people want to clap that’s fine, if they don’t that’s also fine.
Personally I always appreciate our nhs and clapping doesn’t change that.
I would put that note straight in the bin op, I wouldn’t waste time on it

frederica7 · 07/04/2020 20:12

To reassure any of you who have been clapping I can tell you that my daughter who is an Intensive Care Doctor in a London Hospital working 12 and 13 hour shifts is THRILLED by the clapping. It happened in her street and friends sent videos from their streets. It has been a tremendous boost to her and the others in the ICU. So thank you, a simple loving message which is greatly appreciated. And I think we do it to thank all the helpers, rubbish collectors, care workers, shop staff delivery people.

Bibijayne · 07/04/2020 20:18

@winkywonky

I'm not taking anything out of context. I'm reading what you said..what you actually said. And I think your attitude sucks.

I agreed with another poster who quoted one of your more controversial and unpleasant lines back at you when you tried to deny you had been unpleasant.

Yes, you enjoy it. Yes, your children enjoy it. Great. My toddler is in bed at 8pm (usually) but I have gone out to clap. It was nice, especially giving a big round for one of our neighbours who has been busting a gut working for Public Health Wales the last month. But if I don't see someone clapping I don't think less of them. I don't judge their overall morality or worthiness as a person. Yet you said that you would. I think that is a lot less pleasant than someone not being seen to clap. These things lose all meaning of they are coerced. If they are just virtue signals. I see other posts that you are unhappy with your neighbours ignoring the rules. That's okay. But don't conflate these things together. And do not play the victim when people don't agree with you when you have been unpleasant.

StoneofDestiny · 07/04/2020 20:18

Geez - clapping once was a nice gesture that united people in support, but now it's becoming regular and people now asking we 'dance on the doorstep' for children. Today it was 'clap for Boris' on the internet. Seriously? It will now become a divisive, irritating thing.

MarvellousMonsters · 07/04/2020 20:29

I work for the NHS, and am currently off sick with suspected COVID19, I don’t give a shit if people clap, in fact I think it’s pretty naff sentimental jingoism. I can’t be arsed with big empty gestures, stop voting for brexit and the Tories, that night actually do something.

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