Would you be able to deal with another women moving in with you?

[backdoormadness]

A family member wants to move in with his girlfriend (I’ve only met her once in passing).

Avoiding the Coronavirus barriers to the move aibu for not wanting another ‘women’ under my roof? I feel like it would just be awkward like I’d need to get dressed everyday/have to clear a space on my shelf for her shampoo/get silently pissed if she ate the last of my favourite food etc etc but also making sure the house was spotless as I would for guests. I’m not sure if I’m being petty?

Why does it matter that it’s a woman? Surely a man would come with those problems anyway. Seems like you’re just annoyed that there’s someone else moving in, regardless of whether it’s a woman or not? I’ve lived with groups of people in house shares and also had family members come live with me, with their partners practically moving in. Doesn’t bother me, but then maybe I’m just used to it. Sounds more like a personal space issue than anything else which is completely fair. Is it your house? Do you have any say in it?

... why?

Why wouldn't a man need shelf space? Is a woman more likely to eat your food? This is weird.

Who is the family member? What is the relationship to you? Sons girlfriend?

This doesn’t make any form of logical sense, you say he wants to move in with her. So why would you then have another woman under your roof, Do you mean he wants her to move in with him and he lives with you?

I can’t see the issue that she’s female. I get not wanting a stranger in your home but you need to clarify your living arrangements.

Are you generally uncomfortable with other women?

My mum or daughter in law - no problem.

Why do they want to move in? Why would the bring a gf you’ve barely met? You don’t have to have any guests you don’t want, you definitely don’t have to have anyone live with you that you don’t want

No, I’ve had various boyfriends and girlfriends of my DC move in and out over the years. I enjoy having new faces around. Livens things up.

Ditto - I dont see why a woman is any different to a man in that respect.

You seem to see another woman as 'competition', someone you have to 'keep up with'. It's a bit odd really.

Woman not women

I can understand not wanting a non family member to live in your house, I wouldn’t like that. However the reasons you describe are a bit odd and not at all exclusive to her being a woman? Honestly you either sound like you are already in competition with her but she’s a family member’s gf so that would be VERY strange or you really don’t like women which is also odd frankly.

Your post is baffling. I can entirely understand you not wanting a total stranger living in your house who would? but everything you say is equally applicable to a man, surely?

I'm assuming this is an adult son who wants to move home with his girlfriend? Shouldn't they both be staying where they are?

I understand OP. I was very uncomfortable at the thought of having a female lodger after years of a shared house with male tenants. I thought I would be judged for the cleanliness of the house (I have higher standards of cleanliness than my tenants but didn't have the time or energy to clean up after them) and perhaps have a greater expectation of social engagement when I like my own company. In the end it worked out well and I found I loved having another woman around to balance the men.

I think if I was just another tenant I wouldn't have worried so much but being the landlady made me feel responsible for everything.

I wouldn't want anyone moving in who I didn't know reasonably well.

If they haven't been willing to spend time hanging out with you and getting to know you first then it would be a No from me.

Not wanting to share a house with stranger is totally normal. Not wanting to share a house with another woman specifically it is
a bit odd. Nothing you described is gender specific.

Do you mean your family member wants to move into your home and bring his partner to live there too? And that you'd be ok with him living with you but you're not sure about her?

If so, in this scenario it's not the fact that she's a woman that would concern me. It's having met her once. Of course it's not unreasonable to prefer not to have someone you barely know living in your home.

Assuming this is your son or brother wanting to move in with you?

Depends! Are you close to the son/brother? Or do you feel a strong impetus to look after them? Would you be happy living with them?

Do you have room to live reasonably comfortably with other people? Doesn't sound as if you have an extra bathroom. That could be problematic. On the other hand - if they're desperate it might be one of the best things you ever do. And could even be a life enhancing experience.

I'd suggest a few long FaceTime conversations to get to know the girlfriend.

Do men not use shampoo and eat then?

Is it your son girlfriend

I don't understand why the fact that it's a womAn is relevant.

Why have you put woman in quotes?

Also, if the family member wants to move in with his girlfriend, surely that means he's going to her ;)

You sound like hard work

I read it as needing a comma - that a family member wants to move in(to OP’s home), with his girlfriend.

I don’t want anyone extra in my house. I’d consider kicking DH out and having my best friends move in at a push.