Would you be able to deal with another women moving in with you?

[backdoormadness]

A family member wants to move in with his girlfriend (I’ve only met her once in passing).

Avoiding the Coronavirus barriers to the move aibu for not wanting another ‘women’ under my roof? I feel like it would just be awkward like I’d need to get dressed everyday/have to clear a space on my shelf for her shampoo/get silently pissed if she ate the last of my favourite food etc etc but also making sure the house was spotless as I would for guests. I’m not sure if I’m being petty?

Lockdown has already started. She needs to stay put. And I don’t blame you at all for being hesitant to share your house with someone you barely know!

Why do they need to move in with you?
Can't they just live together elsewhere?

We are on lockdown so you shouldn't be allowing others to move in during lockdown, irrespective of who they are.

Afterwards you are perfectly at liberty to let someone stay (or not) as you see fit. Nothing wrong with not wanting strangers moving in. I wouldn't do it. Others would. It's a personal decision and no reflection on your feelings for your brother.

Of course they shouldn't be moving in with you, tell them to stay in lockdown where they are.

"women" when you mean "woman" really pisses me off - see it so often. It's "woman" OP

Why can't he go to live at her place?

Doesn't he have his own place at all?

I wouldn't want it. It's hard enough being confined to the home without a complete stranger being there too. I wouldn't want your brother there either, though.

So your brother is missing sex and wants his burd to move in with you/him. Every pair in the land is the same, missing each other. Big wow.

Great. Just what you need. Not.

Unless you want to hear wall to wall shaggage I’d suggest you tell him lockdowns already started and that’s that. No.

I'm going to sound horrible, but I have vivid memories of my neighbour having her brother in law move in 'just for a few weeks until he got on his feet'. Three years later and counting. . .

I don't co-exist well with other people outside of my immediate family, and that's at the best of times, not a global pandemic. And I think it's taking the piss a bit, to try and tack his girlfriend on, to moving in with you.

Do YOU want to share your personal space and comfort with other people during lockdown?
I wouldn't - especially a stranger.

Not only would you have to tolerate the general living together/arguments/squabbles with your brother, you'd also have to put up with them having sex in the next room etc....and you're sat there like feeling like a gooseberry in your own home!

They're adults and can handle this lockdown like adults - it isn't your responsibility to facilitate their relationship.
He needs to prioritise keeping a stable job/roof above his head instead of his sex life.

You’re not being petty at all. Most of us would feel the same at the best of times, let alone right now. Say no.

I wouldn't want another woman moving in with me. I understand your reasons.
Perhaps even just in reading this thread you can see how women misinterpret things.
Even my closest friend would pissing me off after a week together and no doubt find me lazy and infuriating. And I'm certainly not going on best behaviour to reduce their potential to bitch about me.

I’m sorry I still don’t understand why they both need to move in with you? Have neither of them their own place? Is he living there now with you? You say he’s stayed for a few weeks in the past but don’t talk about now or where she lives.

I’m a bit surprised by your uni experience but to be fair I don’t think many uni students spend their days in their pjs, often they have uni, or library or off to meet friends, so wonder if ther is more to that than you’ve said.why were you spending your days in your pjyamas?

Also clearly you can do lock down as you wish, but regularly spending days in your pyjamas eating ice cream isn’t healthy. As occasional events, fine, but not regularly.

Is there more to this op? Are you coping with lock down. Do you often spend days in your pyjamas eating ice cream, or is it peculiar to lock down?

It does seem the issue is you think she’s going to judge you for how you live, which it seems you’ve endured before.

So you live with your brother? Or do you mean you live with your parents in their home? It's all very confusing.....

If you share with your brother, just say no.

If it's up to your parents, then you can express your views, but if they want her to live with them (after the corona restrictions obviously) then you will have to put up or move out.

If you mean NOW, then no - absolutely unnaceptable.

What? Where is everyone living at the moment, and with whom? Why are they going to break the rules to move in with you?

Your posts are incomplete and confusing.

Still unclear. Does your brother usually live with you? If not, where does he live? Why does he need to move from there? Why can’t he and his gf get a place together?

YANBU to not want some stranger moving in. YABU if it's only cos she's a woman that you dont want her.

Luckily they can't move in anyway cos it's lockdown and you can't blend your households right now.

Is it your house? If yes, I would say no. Use lockdown as an excuse, now is not the time for them to be moving in together.

Surely no one should be moving in with anyone else at this point in time? Where are they currently living?
As to the general question though, it would depend on the woman. My mum, fine. MIL, also fine at a push. My best friend... fab, I’d love it. SIL would be good fun. A woman I’ve only met once or twice... probably not.

If I were you, I would charge them both rent, with the usual reduction for a couple. They will be using gas and electricity. That way, you can lay down our ground rules politely. Otherwise she is using you and you will resent her. She would be your lodger, not tenant.

Tell him you're following guidelines - non family members cannot come over.

Post C19 is a different converation. How has he gone from an odd visit to needing to live with you? Why your place?
I like my space so either way I'd say no.

I didn’t want to write too much incase it was outting.

My brother is self employed as a tradesman (and hasn’t declared his earnings - I want to say tough titty his own bloody stupid fault for not contributing to our society) and his girlfriend worked in retail. He was living here until three weeks ago when I gave him two choices: either practice social distancing (which prevented him from seeing his new GF and going out partying) or move out. He choose to move out with her, he then lost his earnings and now waiting for UC. I believe her parents are asking for board that he cannot pay but he swears the whole house haven’t left their house in the past two weeks.

He asked if she could move in before he moved out and I said no as she’d be still going to work (I have to go over to our mum’s as she’s currently shielding/very ill and needs support) and would be putting mum at risk. He can’t fry an egg so he’s not moving because he’s going to help us just because he’s skint (which I did warn him about a whole country lockdown including work).

I think I’m just even more tender as my partner has moved to his friend’s house as he still needs to go out to work (key worker) to protect me from getting ill.

No to her moving in, and he needs to move out too.

Say no.

Op this sounds AWFUL - don't let either of them move in with you. No way, you'll be miserable and pushed out of your own home. He's an adult, yes? He can use UC to pay her parents board, backdated, or arrange something else - like an adult.

You'll end up being mummy and cleaning up after him I'm afraid. Think very carefully!

Never mind her, I wouldn't have him move in either!