Would you be able to deal with another women moving in with you?

[backdoormadness]

A family member wants to move in with his girlfriend (I’ve only met her once in passing).

Avoiding the Coronavirus barriers to the move aibu for not wanting another ‘women’ under my roof? I feel like it would just be awkward like I’d need to get dressed everyday/have to clear a space on my shelf for her shampoo/get silently pissed if she ate the last of my favourite food etc etc but also making sure the house was spotless as I would for guests. I’m not sure if I’m being petty?

Oh HELL NO. What a pair of cheeky bastards.

Lockdown in your home with a complete stranger? If you don’t have any MH issues now, you surely will by the end of it.

I’d rather live under a bridge than share my home with a random.

No, no, no, no, no.

Honestly, the problem isn't her so much as him in this scenario. You have to shield your mother and you don't have to solve the problems that he's made for himself.

Absolutely no way would I let them move in. Even if he were telling the truth (that the whole house haven’t left their house in the past two weeks) - and I sincerely doubt he's telling the truth, he's just saying whatever he thinks will get him under your roof - it's still a big fat no. His girlfriend is a stranger to you, and most people are finding it hard to be 24/7 with their family - a stranger - no. Just, no.

And I wouldn't let him come and stay either. You gave him the choice, he made his choice to go to his girlfriend's. Well - her parents'. Bed. Made. Lie on it, brother dearest.

I wouldn’t have either of them move in, sounds like they’ll just add to your stress in what is already a stressful time.

Say no to both

No no no

It’s not about it being another woman, your thinking is confused. It’s two piss takers who want to live for free, eat for free, whilst you do the cooking and cleaning, keeping everything nice and pretending you cannot hear them shagging

Not a good deal for you

Fight it

And people “swear this” and “swear that” always lie, always, it’s a rule

I swear

I don't get it. Why would you? What's in it for you?

Yeah ok so no. He can shift for himself.

Is he not capable of finding his own place to live? He sounds a right loser. They obviously can't stay, it'll put your mum at risk. Plus if he can't afford board at his girlfriends he can't afford board at yours.

Good God no! You'd be 24/7 with this freeloading shagging couple while your husband is elsewhere and guaranteed they won't lift a finger or contribute.

You'll end up the minority in your own home while they act as though it's theirs. Just, no.

No to both. He doesn't sound like he could lie straight in bed. You need to put your health (both mental and physical) and those of who rely upon you well and truly foremost. He needs to learn what his chickens coming home to roost feels like, and how to sort out his own messes. He is not your responsibility, and he has a bloody cheek asking for himself, let alone his girlfriend.

I'm not sure why you're mentioning her at all tbh.

You gave your brother a choice & he made it.

Too late now to change his mind & move back in.

Not a chance OP.

You have enough on your plate!

I definitely wouldn't want anyone I'd met once moving into my home.

Two of them taking over, and no doubt you'll be paying for it.

Not a chance.

Absolutely 100% no from the details you have given.

Sorry but your brother sounds like a total loser. He made his bed and now he needs to deal with the situation like an adult.

You are NOT resposnible for him or his girlfriend/ general handers on.

Why don't you just say no.

The obvious answer

I wouldn't want either of them. He sounds like he'd be a nightmare to live with and completely useless. Just say no.

My oldest son's 21yr old girlfriend moved in at the announcement of lockdown measures - she finds me (our manic household) less stressful than her own.. I'm not the calmest of people and suffer from anxiety but she does too. I'm flattered that she would rather be here than with her family - it was a huge decision for her - and she really is a sweetie which helps!

I missed the intervening updates - no, you do what is best for you - I took a measured approach and have the space to keep everyone in their own space if needs be. Don't sacrifice ypur own mental and physical wellbeing for someone else.

"You'll end up the minority in your own home while they act as though it's theirs. Just, no."
That is a very good point. One of you, two of them, at least one of whom is a freeloader. This is your home, but I'd bet your brother has the what's-yours-is-mine attitude to that - and not just with your shower gel .

No way should you let him get his feet under your table again. And maintain that post-lockdown too - I suspect he uses you and your home far too frequently in normal times too.

when his UC comes through he can move into her house then can't he? Isolate himself until then.
Sorted!

and yes it IS 'tough titty' to him.
Undeclared self employed earnings yet no place of his own?
No savings?
Can't fry an egg - so he 'lives' with you so you can do all the 'woman-work' for him?

How old is he?

Hell no.

You look after yourself and dm. You don’t need his drama. He’s just trying to freeload off you. He made his choice. Lockdown has started. End of.

It's lockdown. Neither he nor her should be moving house.

Fucksakes. Your partner moved out to protect you and your mum. But now you're considering letting your idiot brother who has probably not being socially distancing stay with you. With a girlfriend you don't even know . I can't believe you are even considering it