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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Payment for shopping for someone else

101 replies

PlinkiePlonk · 03/04/2020 18:52

Again a wwyd. Following on from a previous thread, SIL - who wanted to use our garden as it’s bigger and has a habit of mild CFery which is often thwarted mind - is now self isolating.

As we are family I said to her we would pick some stuff up - well offered up DH. When DH phoned to see how they were getting on there was no mention of payment but that he had forgotten something. Surprisingly enough she still hasn’t paid. It’s not that much In cash terms though obviously the bar is set really. They are stuck inside. DH is not and there is, by all accounts, an expectation he makes the run for them again which is understandable with the whole isolation thing....

However, when would you chase for payment? Would you make the next shopping point the deadline and not do another run if they haven’t paid? Or is it an ‘all stick together, it’s not really important situation and just get over it’ situation...

OP posts:
HotDogGuy · 03/04/2020 18:56

Have you asked for the amount and do they have your bank details? Why not just send a message saying if you’ve not got our bank details they’re x and the amount is y.

screwcovid19 · 03/04/2020 18:56

Your dh should have said at the time "the shopping was £25, here's my bank details"

Why would you wait for someone to offer you the money they owe you?

Shamoo · 03/04/2020 18:57

I would just ask for the rough value of the next shop to be transferred before you go and do it, I think.

TheLoveOfMoney · 03/04/2020 18:59

Have you specifically asked the amount and given bank details?

Intelinside57 · 03/04/2020 19:00

I wouldn't faff around at all. Text now and say here are my bank details, please could you pay x in for the shopping that DH got for you. Simple. If they don't pay don't even think about getting them any more.

PlinkiePlonk · 03/04/2020 19:00

I gave bank details as soon as they sent the list

OP posts:
safariboot · 03/04/2020 19:00

If they've not paid for shop 1, don't do shop 2 for them!

anothernewyear · 03/04/2020 19:01

"Hi sil. Here are the details of our bank account so you can transfer the cost of your shopping. Thanks "

ShellsAndSunrises · 03/04/2020 19:02

Message and say that he’ll be going to the shop on Sunday or whatever, and if they transfer the money for shop 1 and 2 before then, he’ll drop it by afterwards.

They pay if they want food. This isn’t a credit line.

screwcovid19 · 03/04/2020 19:04

I gave bank details as soon as they sent the lis

Right, have you said to them "shopping was xx, transfer it over when you get a chance. Thank you"

Windyatthebeach · 03/04/2020 19:05

Well now you can say no to the next request..
Maybe worth losing the cash to be left alone from now on!!

Thingsthatgo · 03/04/2020 19:14

I would expect to pay for any shopping in advance, because they don’t know how much it’ll be. However, I would remind them how much the last shopping cost, maybe resend your bank details, and ask that they reimburse you before you buy anything else.

Thingsthatgo · 03/04/2020 19:15

*i wouldn’t expect

SharonasCorona · 03/04/2020 19:16

I wouldn't offer shops anymore. If he does, he should say he needs money upfront. He should push for the money owed.

SweepTheHalls · 03/04/2020 19:17

Send a PayPal money request 💵😊

Mlou32 · 03/04/2020 19:19

"Hey when did you transfer the money for that shilling because it's not showing in my account yet?".

madmumofteens · 03/04/2020 19:20

Yip no more shopping until previous shop is paid for CFs

JustMySize · 03/04/2020 19:25

If you don't ask for the money, you probably won't get it.

Do as PP said and give her your bank details.

Standrewsschool · 03/04/2020 19:27

No shopping until first shop as been paid for. They could transfer extra money before second shop.

Snugglepumpkin · 03/04/2020 19:55

Just say you won't be able to get them anything else until they've cleared their current debt & that you will need them to do the bank transfer the same day if you shop for them again or you won't be able to do it in the future.

Darbs76 · 03/04/2020 19:57

They should have immediately asked for your bank details. Sounds like they aren’t going to. If he goes again message after saying x amount here’s bank details plus x for last week

OatMilkAddict · 03/04/2020 19:59

I've shopped for family and just leave the receipt in the bag - they transfer the amount within 24 hours.

Queenofeverything44 · 03/04/2020 20:04

Our family set up a PayPal thing where we all put our cash in for shopping. I have online so add extra bit and they send it through when I know what's coming. I put in if there is stuff I can't get. Works well. Also stops the cf from "forgetting" to pay as the whole family can see who hasn't paid 😉

Heismyopendoor · 03/04/2020 20:08

Just send her a text and say ‘your shopping was £22.10, bank transfer is best’

TotesGodsWill · 03/04/2020 20:20

Don’t do another shop for her until she’s paid for the first one. And if she keeps dragging her feet then insist thst she pays upfront next time so you don’t have to waste time chasing her afterwards

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