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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour isn't a key worker

351 replies

TrulyOutrageousJem · 03/04/2020 12:36

Since working from home I have moved my desk into the bay window. It's nice to see cars and occasionally people and to not be staring at a blank wall. I'm new to the street and only moved in two months ago so I'm not on chatting terms with anybody yet just a polite hello.

As I'm in the window I have noticed that my neighbour facing gets up each day, takes her small baby (younger than one) to the nursery and her kids to school then comes back home. She isn't working outside of the home as far as I can see and both her and her partner are there all day. She drops the smallest off at 8am and picks up at 5:30pm Monday - Friday so not even a reduced time. I like to keep to myself but it's driving me insane that she is playing the system while I have my small children, yes driving me insane, while trying to work and homeschool but that is just the way it is.

Today it looks like they are doing a spot of DIY because they are childless for the day/week?!?!!!

I desperately want to say something.

OP posts:
JustMySize · 03/04/2020 13:21

If your that interested, and you seem to be, you know the times they go out so set your alarm for then and go for your daily exercise and ask her.

There is a white van man down our street that is coming and going every 30 mins or so, everyday, and it drove me mad at the beginning but now I let my imagination run wild thinking of the things he could be doing Grin

HoffiCoffi13 · 03/04/2020 13:21

Have you read the thread Thehop? And seen all the reasons why it may not be possible to have your children at home when you’re WFH? For example the child protection social worker who is discussing sensitive cases over the telephone and can’t do that in front of a 4 year old, or the GP who is running a full surgery over the telephone? Or the medical researcher who needs to concentrate to ensure no mistakes are made? Or the mental health practitioner who is conducting appointments online or over the telephone?

PurpleFlower1983 · 03/04/2020 13:21

They may be vulnerable. Mind your own business.

Charliebigpotatoes · 03/04/2020 13:22

Myself and my husband are keyworkers performing critical emergency service roles whilst working from home. My son goes to the childminder 3 x a week as it is not at all possible to do the jobs we do with him here.

Stop judging when you have admitted you know nothing about them.

pudcat · 03/04/2020 13:22

Soon all non key workers and elderly will be forced to wear yellow stars. Mind your own bloody business. You are not the secret police.

koshkatt · 03/04/2020 13:23

FFS OP, mind your own fucking business.

Fallsballs · 03/04/2020 13:24

OP, I think you need to march up to their door and ask them.
Say “I’m a nosey neighbour and what the fuck do you do all day”

After this all blows over I’d suggest leaving the desk job for some PI work.

PicsInRed · 03/04/2020 13:24

FTR, the schools are robustly gatekeeping places due to staff out on sick leave.

Even on wfh, many staff end up needing office access due to the excess pressure on the broadband and internal server networks. Staff spend as little time in the office as possible (for time critical, same day turnaround, work) and often end up working very late at night or very early in the morning in an often failed attempt to catch some light IT demand time before the systems crash again.

When wfh, in the middle of the day I do household things as I have no access so can't work. I log on again late at night or first thing. My day is effectively flipped backwards.

This will be what your key worker neighbours are doing.

Leave the key workers alone. They're doing their part. Are you doing yours?

midlifecrash · 03/04/2020 13:24

My neighbour is working from home on full pay but has admitted to me that she spends at least a quarter of her time looking out the window or on social media. AIBU to contact her employer?

NB of all calls made to the benefit fraud hotline, over 85% are false. Presumably because of this sort of thing

koshkatt · 03/04/2020 13:25

I just know that while I'm working and looking after my kids on my own I'm watching a mum and a dad, from the outset, have a really lovely break

You are a disgrace. Truly.

TheOrigBrave · 03/04/2020 13:25

Perhaps their job requires them to be actually working at home and not just faking it while child-minding.

I take umbrage at the term faking it.
There are millions of us in non KW roles with children at home, trying very, very hard. If people have good managers then they will understand if their previously very conscientious employees are not able to put the hours/work in because they have dependent children at home.

The people faking work will be the people who've always faked it.

YippeeKayakOtherBuckets · 03/04/2020 13:26

My youngest has been invited to still attend school (he isn’t) because a few years ago I tried to kill myself and we briefly had a social worker.

The net is quite broad.

AlpineSnow · 03/04/2020 13:27

Our school sent a letter to request that if someone is a key worker but not working that day could they please not send children in, or if they are a key worker but have another parent at home, as people were doing this.

Catmanduu · 03/04/2020 13:27

I just know that while I'm working and looking after my kids on my own I'm watching a mum and a dad, from the outset, have a really lovely break.

Worlds tiniest violin anybody? Hmm

Blimey op concentrate on your own difficulties.
I know it’s a complete nightmare for everyone at the moment whatever you are doing. And there’s always some who appear to have it better than others.
But honestly forget it.
You don’t know what their circumstances are what could happen in future for them.
Just take a step back.

DM1209 · 03/04/2020 13:27

Legal work here and a lone parent to 3 children.

Last week I had 2 emergency Injunctions that needed to be in Court within days.
Technically I was physically in the house, but drafting witness statements and instructions to Counsel would not have been possible with a 6 and 7 year old around me so, they went to school and I came home each day and worked my arse off so my clients didn't end up in worse situations than what they are already in.

You don't know a thing about your neighbours.

Stop being so invested in what others are doing and focus your own life.

Pathetic.

theseriousmoonlight · 03/04/2020 13:27

Also, how do you know one parent or the other aren't working nights? As a key worker? My oh is on nights this weekend as he was last week and may he again sooner than expected as the rotas are changing almost on a daily basis. Someone watching us this morning may have noticed him playing with our toddler this morning but if we had used childcare (as we are entitled to) he may have been doing some DIY before going up to bed.

As for getting 'some answers', it sounds a little interrogative of you. Maybe you should concentrate more on your own work.

DobbyLovesSocks · 03/04/2020 13:29

I'm a keyworker WFH. My DC is upstairs in their bedroom studying which is at the back of our house. If anyone peered in my front window right now they would see me looking at the TV. The TV is tuned into Sky News and is on silent. I have my wireless ear bud in and am currently on hold to our IT department as I need help with something. I make a few phone calls a day, all done on my hands free and completed whilst I move about my home. Yesterday I talked a colleague through a task whilst loading my washing machine. I am very much working but not sat at my computer staring at my screen when I could be multi-tasking.

Suggest you stop judging and get on with your own business OP

Juanmorebeer · 03/04/2020 13:31

What a horrible post. They could be GPs, police detectives, social workers or a whole other number of jobs involving working from home with confidentiality in place.

I really hate how this has made the public into such dicks, Gilead, anyone?

Under his eye

rosepetal321 · 03/04/2020 13:31

I'm sure I'll speak to them at some point so I will have all the answers in due course.

Well that’s very neighbourly of you.

They may have circumstances, which are none of your business, where the children are deemed to be vulnerable.

cultkid · 03/04/2020 13:32

How do you know she isn't a key worker at home?? Nursery will know if she is a key worker or if there's a care plan in place for the children. If they are at nursery they can also be "at risk" children not just the children of a key worker.

SpaceCadet4000 · 03/04/2020 13:32

I'm watching a mum and a dad, from the outset, have a really lovely break

The whole point of key workers is that they are KEY WORKERS. We need them to be able to do their jobs to keep the country running.

Juggling kids at home with working can be a huge distraction and once more.... they are key workers.

Sunnyhopefulness · 03/04/2020 13:33

My husband is a key worker who has worked from home for 13/15 of the last working days ... my children are at home though - it’s one hell of a juggle

Juanmorebeer · 03/04/2020 13:34

I see you have had your arse truly handed to you. Good, clearly you are in the minority.

TheProdigalKittensReturn · 03/04/2020 13:36

In all seriousness, why are people doing this? This situation could drag on all summer or even beyond. Are people really going to spend the whole time spying on their neighbors and looking for reasons to report them to the police? Is that really the kind of society they want to live in?

I'm certainly starting to get a better understanding of how societies under rather unpleasant governments find their network of informers.

Theyweretheworstoftimes · 03/04/2020 13:36

Oh just stop this. I have a toddler I have to take to daycare every day so I can work. My husband and I work from home. I have had an ear bashing for leaving the house more than once a day. I am exhausted, my husband is exhausted and we are sick of the judgement and the curtain twitching. Go and do something useful and stop judging others.

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