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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour isn't a key worker

351 replies

TrulyOutrageousJem · 03/04/2020 12:36

Since working from home I have moved my desk into the bay window. It's nice to see cars and occasionally people and to not be staring at a blank wall. I'm new to the street and only moved in two months ago so I'm not on chatting terms with anybody yet just a polite hello.

As I'm in the window I have noticed that my neighbour facing gets up each day, takes her small baby (younger than one) to the nursery and her kids to school then comes back home. She isn't working outside of the home as far as I can see and both her and her partner are there all day. She drops the smallest off at 8am and picks up at 5:30pm Monday - Friday so not even a reduced time. I like to keep to myself but it's driving me insane that she is playing the system while I have my small children, yes driving me insane, while trying to work and homeschool but that is just the way it is.

Today it looks like they are doing a spot of DIY because they are childless for the day/week?!?!!!

I desperately want to say something.

OP posts:
Original poster
TrulyOutrageousJem · 03/04/2020 13:12

Also, going to mention again - mum and dad are home.
Aand yes, definitely their dad as I've seen and heard them outside before the lockdown.

I'm sure I'll speak to them at some point so I will have all the answers in due course.

OP posts:
HoffiCoffi13 · 03/04/2020 13:13

You aren’t owed any answers.

wanderings · 03/04/2020 13:13

By joining the curtain-twitching mob, you're succumbing to Boris's cunning plan to deflect attention from himself. He wants us to be spying on our neighbours, because then we're not looking at what he's doing.

Let's focus our eagle eyes on the government. What are they doing? Or what aren't they doing?

FuckingTuiles · 03/04/2020 13:13

2 of my friends are therapists, 1 a crisis team therapist working with suicidal and sectioned patients. All of which is now being done via Skype from home.

1 is an NHS mental health support manager, who is currently dealing with a huge influx of front line NHS staff needing mental health support to continue working. Also being done by phone and Skype.

LastTrainEast · 03/04/2020 13:14

"If they’re home then their kids should be to. Who can argue that?" well I can. Perhaps their job requires them to be actually working at home and not just faking it while child-minding.

Rosiejim · 03/04/2020 13:14

I’m a key worker. I work from home. Maybe you should concentrate on your job and stop obsessing over your neighbour since you have no fucking idea what her situation is.

JammieCodger · 03/04/2020 13:14

I am a key worker and wfh. I have frequent calls on some extremely sensitive stuff, and it would be considered gross malpractice if anyone were to be able to overhear those calls. Luckily I have a secure space at home, so my teenagers don’t need to go into school. Not all my colleagues are so lucky though.

And going into the office is not an option as it’s been shut down completely.

Mooey89 · 03/04/2020 13:14

You have no idea of their circumstances.
I am a key worker and my son is at school. I’m working from home some of the time (social worker) - This week some examples have been dialling into child protection conferences, dialling into court, making any number of calls to very vulnerable people etc.
I’m between this I’m still nipping in an out for essential visits and doing some shifts in front line res homes.
I feel so guilty that there have been days where I have been working from home but the two weeks previously we were in self isolation so all home and I couldn’t get any work done, I just can’t keep people safe that way.
I shouldn’t have to justify it but I am.
Their child might have an EHCP or be subject to social work involvement.
Worry about the stuff you have going on for yourself.

HoffiCoffi13 · 03/04/2020 13:14

And what do you mean you’ll have the answers? Do you expect them to tell you that their children are considered vulnerable and they’re under social care, for example?

Garden5Guru6 · 03/04/2020 13:14

I am WFH, I work a combination of days & nights
Perhaps, you assume too much ?

FenellaVelour · 03/04/2020 13:15

I’m a social worker. I’m working from home. Among other things, involves having highly confidential Skype conversations and phone calls with people, discussing personal and at times upsetting topics. It also involves attending remote court hearings. It would be impossible to do this if I had sole care of a child.

EmbarrassingMama · 03/04/2020 13:15

The children might be vulnerable. They could be under the care of a social worker and may be encouraged to go to nursery.

Try not to judge if you don't have the facts. It's unlikely a nursery wouldn't have clocked onto someone playing the system.

krustykittens · 03/04/2020 13:15

The only people that your neighbour has to justify her childcare needs to is the school. I am sure they are more than happy with her children attending, so how it has got anything to do with you is beyond me. You are not owed any answers because it is none of your business.

Rosiejim · 03/04/2020 13:16

im sure I'll speak to them at some point so I will have all the answers in due course

Grin yeh, I’m guessing you’re gonna be great mates

LilacTree1 · 03/04/2020 13:16

You have no idea OP

She could be doing logistics for the Nightingale for all you know.

Mind your own.

I really hope MN isn’t reflective of the general population.

IrisAtwood · 03/04/2020 13:16

Good lord. Leave the poor woman alone. You have no idea what she or her husband do and it is none of your business.

Mooey89 · 03/04/2020 13:16

Oh - and DH is also a key worker and still going out to work.

PicsInRed · 03/04/2020 13:17

OP, if non NHS key workers, even those who wfh, can't get their jobs done, the lights go out, the money doesn't move between bank accounts, the water becomes unsafe to drink, the supermarkets close etc etc.

You like central heating and clean drinking water?

Leave them alone and untwerk those fucking curtains.

Walruse · 03/04/2020 13:17

You have already stated you have no idea what they do, perhaps they are performing important critical work from home that requires their children to be looked after. Suggest you move your desk back to where it is and keep focused on your own work. Mustn't have very much to do to be able to keep a track of your neighbours schedule and watch their comings and goings.

PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock · 03/04/2020 13:18

Do you have a life?

Are you struggling?

Would them keeping their kids at home make things any better for you? Relieve the burden? Would it change your circumstances in any way? No,no and no.

So you're basically complaining because you want others to have a shit time too. That's beyond envy, jealousy and pettiness. You want some people's life that you don't even know and that don't affect you in any way to be worse, just for the sake of it.

JemSynergy · 03/04/2020 13:18

I would hate to live opposite you and possibly knowing you are watching my every move.

Thehop · 03/04/2020 13:18

Even if they’re key workers, children should be at home if Kate ya working from home.

Nursery and school should challenge

ErickBroch · 03/04/2020 13:19

This is hilarious. You don't know her job you also don't know if her children have special needs - they are allowed to go to school!

speakout · 03/04/2020 13:19

My OH is a key worker who works from home.

ErickBroch · 03/04/2020 13:20

My brother has special needs so he is still going to school. You must be glad you're anonymous as you've made yourself out to be a right muppet