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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour isn't a key worker

351 replies

TrulyOutrageousJem · 03/04/2020 12:36

Since working from home I have moved my desk into the bay window. It's nice to see cars and occasionally people and to not be staring at a blank wall. I'm new to the street and only moved in two months ago so I'm not on chatting terms with anybody yet just a polite hello.

As I'm in the window I have noticed that my neighbour facing gets up each day, takes her small baby (younger than one) to the nursery and her kids to school then comes back home. She isn't working outside of the home as far as I can see and both her and her partner are there all day. She drops the smallest off at 8am and picks up at 5:30pm Monday - Friday so not even a reduced time. I like to keep to myself but it's driving me insane that she is playing the system while I have my small children, yes driving me insane, while trying to work and homeschool but that is just the way it is.

Today it looks like they are doing a spot of DIY because they are childless for the day/week?!?!!!

I desperately want to say something.

OP posts:
AmaryllisNightAndDay · 03/04/2020 13:38

Agree with pp - move your desk back and get on with your own work. Shut your curtains as well if it's really upsetting you. You shouldn't be following what they do in such detail.

You're not going to get on very well in your new home if you make all these awful assumptions about your neighbours and want to "say something" about it to people who haven't even met you yet.

LexMitior · 03/04/2020 13:38

People like you make others life impossible at a time when keyworkers need support. I am a keyworker and there is always this assumption that I have someone else to fall back on. I don’t and I have to navigate people like you who think it is their business. It’s none of your business.

It plainly hasn’t taken much for the character of some people to show. All in this together I don’t think.

AddressLabel · 03/04/2020 13:40

Both DH and I are key workers, mainly working from home. DS could have gone to nursery, but we decided to keep him at home. BIG FAT MISTAKE. He’s 17 months old and an absolute fucking nightmare. I’ve been rota’ed to work on site next week and I’m really looking forward to it. I feel sorry for DH though, as he’ll have to take any urgent calls he gets with a screaming child in the background and have to catch up with his work in the evening.

Xenia · 03/04/2020 13:40

Vast amounts of essential key work is done by people working from home who cannot work with children around. They are definitely key workers fro those involved in the justice system to power supply to banking. These are our heroes whose taxes will pay the salaries of nurses. We applaud them.

AnneOfCloves · 03/04/2020 13:41

Stop being a nosey, judgemental neighbour and accept this will affect different people in different ways.

You'll drive yourself mad.

DemelzaRobins · 03/04/2020 13:42

I'm a key worker and am working from home. I'm a Civil Servant, everyone in my Government department is a key worker, including those not working directly on Covid-19 who are working on ensuring other essential services run.

The vast majority of us are working from home as we have the technology to do so.

GranolaBars · 03/04/2020 13:42

I really doubt most people would take the risk of sending their kids to a group care setting just to “have a lovely break.” Instead of comparing yourself to your neighbors when you have absolutely no idea of their circumstances and getting upset because you still have to work, why not think about how lucky you are to still have a job, and one that you can do from home? You are in waaaaay better shape than a whole lot of people.

Or you could try not to compare yourself to others at all. We all do it to some extent but the way you are looking at your neighbors and passing judgment and getting angry is not healthy.

C130 · 03/04/2020 13:45

Op mind your own business, you know nothing about this family.

DM1209 · 03/04/2020 13:47

Further, my understanding is that schools have requested evidence that you are a key worker.
My eldest also has a key worker place at her Secondary but at 12, I'm happy to leave her at home and she knows when I'm working to not disturb me and is pretty self sufficient.

Our lovely little village primary, where the staff know a majority of the parents and families really well, rightly so asked for evidence.
I have had children at that school for the last 7/8 years and I happily e-mailed in whatever they needed.

My point is you judgmental oddball, you have no right to comment on their lives and you sound utterly miserable and bitter, I'd work on that if I was you. If ever you needed my professional services, I'm sure you'd want my 110% dedication, not the knowledge that I'm being a martyr keeping my children at home while giving you my half arsed attention!!

cologne4711 · 03/04/2020 13:48

OP mind your own business. Do you actually know what she does for a living? Are you getting paid for being a member of the CoronaStasi?

I have a friend who is a paramedic and now works for a GP like a nurse practitioner and is a key worker. She had to self-isolate but was well so she did online consultations with patients from home.

You have no idea of peoples' circumstances.

T0tallyFuckedUpFamily · 03/04/2020 13:49

My youngest lad is working from his home. He doesn’t work in one of the ‘essential’ lines of work, but he says he’s actually exhausted, because he’s working more than ever, due to so many being ill. I dread to think how busy those poor people are that are working from home in key roles.

I’m convinced there are people, thankfully a minority, on Mumsnet that would welcome 1984 with open arms. Sheesh! 🙄

Fluffybutter · 03/04/2020 13:52

My dh is a key worker and works from home however I’m not a key worker so happy to have dd at home . .
Our school you had to both be keyworkers to send you children inn.
If they’re playing the system then that’s wrong but you can’t know for sure without asking

wewereliars · 03/04/2020 13:52

Either this is made up or you have too much time on your hands. You sound judgemental and nosy, stop minding your neighbour's business and get on with your work. You are lucky to have a job, plenty of people have lost theirs and are in dire straits

Sn0tnose · 03/04/2020 13:53

I'm sure I'll speak to them at some point so I will have all the answers in due course. You’ve taken all of the above comments on board then OP?

You must come back and update this thread as soon as you discover the nickname they’ve given you. I’m liking Warden Hodges, but think that ‘Nosy Knickers’ will also be in the running.

MontysOarlock · 03/04/2020 13:55

Dh is an NHS key worker, not all NHS staff are doctors or nurses. The NHS is a huge infrastructure with a huge database recording all the COVID cases for the Disease Registration etc.

I just know that while I'm working and looking after my kids on my own I'm watching a mum and a dad, from the outset, have a really lovely break

A break? Dh worked a 70 hour week. Yes he is having a lovely break Angry

Luckily I am a SAHM and our children are teenagers who can get on with their school work quietly and understand that Dh is on incredibly important phone calls and is very stressed. We just make his life easier.

onanothertrain · 03/04/2020 13:55

They don't owe you any answers. Fuck all to do with you.

BilboBercow · 03/04/2020 13:56

You definitely should cross the road and say something to the people you know absolutely nothing about.

How long are you planning on living there op?

NoSauce · 03/04/2020 13:58

I hope you’ve changed your mind now OP in thinking this is any of your business?

iklboo · 03/04/2020 13:58

I'm sure I'll speak to them at some point so I will have all the answers in due course.

Good luck with that. If you tried to Stasi question me I'd tell you where to go. With prejudice.

CeibaTree · 03/04/2020 14:00

I'm new to the street and only moved in two months ago so I'm not on chatting terms with anybody yet just a polite hello.
So you have no idea what is going on with this family! Could be that one of them works nights, or all kinds of other reasons - none of which necessarily means that they are 'playing the system' Sorry you are having a rubbish time with your own children, but that doesn't mean you should turn into a judgmental curtain twitcher!

Lolaesque · 03/04/2020 14:03

Firstly, you do not know what jobs your neighbours do. Just because they're working from home, they can still be a key worker.

Secondly, you know nothing about your neighbours or their situation - the child could be classed as "vulnerable" hence why they're still going to nursery.

These kinds of posts are so irritating and offensive.

andyoldlabour · 03/04/2020 14:03

"I'm new to the street and only moved in two months ago so I'm not on chatting terms with anybody yet just a polite hello."

But you already seem to know everyone's personal circumstances?
How do you know they don't work from home?

oldwhyno · 03/04/2020 14:04

Mind your own damn business and let other people police the system

MonaLisaDoesntSmile · 03/04/2020 14:05

I do hope OP is going to open a Corona detective agency. She can sit in her wondow and scream at people

  • TWO METERS AWAY!!!
  • ARE YOU FROM THE SAME HOUSEHOLD?
  • ARE YOU A KEY WORKER?
  • WHY HAVE YOU GOT A DELIVERY SLOT, NUMBER 134?
  • IS YOUR SHOPPING ESSENTIAL? WHAT HAVE YOU GOT IN YOUR BAG?
trappedsincesundaymorn · 03/04/2020 14:06

I have a friend who is a key worker working from home with her DP. Her children are still going to school because their parents are making body-bags. Maybe your neighbour is doing the same. Would you want your children seeing that?

Concentrate on your own life and business before making judgements about others.