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AIBU?

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Original poster

Neighbour isn't a key worker

351 replies

TrulyOutrageousJem · 03/04/2020 12:36

Since working from home I have moved my desk into the bay window. It's nice to see cars and occasionally people and to not be staring at a blank wall. I'm new to the street and only moved in two months ago so I'm not on chatting terms with anybody yet just a polite hello.

As I'm in the window I have noticed that my neighbour facing gets up each day, takes her small baby (younger than one) to the nursery and her kids to school then comes back home. She isn't working outside of the home as far as I can see and both her and her partner are there all day. She drops the smallest off at 8am and picks up at 5:30pm Monday - Friday so not even a reduced time. I like to keep to myself but it's driving me insane that she is playing the system while I have my small children, yes driving me insane, while trying to work and homeschool but that is just the way it is.

Today it looks like they are doing a spot of DIY because they are childless for the day/week?!?!!!

I desperately want to say something.

OP posts:
WtfIsThisEven · 03/04/2020 13:00

You know all those TV shows and movies that have the token nosey neighbour? The one always peering out her curtains and tutting at the kids playing in the neighbourhood and knows everybody’s business? That’s now you, OP.

This pandemic has truly brought out the crazy. Imagine admitting you are spying on all your neighbours at any other time! 😂

lyralalala · 03/04/2020 13:02

So you don't even know what she does?

My GP is working from home, it would be very inappropriate for her kids to come barrelling into the room while she was doing video consultations.

Her husband is also a GP at a different surgery and I assume he's working from home as well.

HoffiCoffi13 · 03/04/2020 13:02

It will absolutely depend on the school and the area. Even using the most lax criteria (before lockdown announced) our school only had approx 40 applicants for a place. Numbers now vary daily from 7-20.

Original poster
TrulyOutrageousJem · 03/04/2020 13:02

You're right people, I have no idea what they do or their circumstances.

I just know that while I'm working and looking after my kids on my own I'm watching a mum and a dad, from the outset, have a really lovely break.

So those who replied saying key workers still work from home, does that mean key workers who are working from home have their children in school / nursery? I would have thought if you have a vital role you would want to eliminate the risk of infection by keeping them with you and not being looked after and bring that into the home?

OP posts:
SpeckledyHen · 03/04/2020 13:02

I have a friend who is a key worker and she is working from home . Dr in mental health .
She doesn’t have children but if she did she would need them to be cared for .

x2boys · 03/04/2020 13:02

My point was @HoffiCoffi13 that my son attends a special school all th e kids there have an EHCP and all by a their nature of disabilities are vulnerable but the LEA has chosen to only offer places to children with EHCP,s wjo.also have parents that key workers and I don't think this is just my LEA as I'm on lots of Facebook. Disability groups and this is something I keep hearing ,so the statement about children with EHCP,s still being able to go school by 're government a few weeks ago was a bit misleading ,however I'm not complaining as I would rather keep ds home with me at present

doodleygirl · 03/04/2020 13:03

Maybe its time to move your desk away from the window. Yet again another nasty post by an OP who has no idea of the neighbours circumstances.

OP just be nice, its not hard.

SpillTheTea · 03/04/2020 13:04

Why are you judging people you don't know? You have no idea what they even do.

MonaLisaDoesntSmile · 03/04/2020 13:04

Maybe their kids have ECHP plans AND they are working from home. Children may be classified as vulnerable for whatever reason oyu cannot phantom by just spying on them from your window. If the nursery is taking them in, it;s probably for a good reason you are not entitled to know...

JassyRadlett · 03/04/2020 13:05

That should be reserved for the key workers who are IN WORK and have ABSOLUTELY no other choice. This was stated by the government. It keeps the numbers to a bare minimum in schools and other childcare setting which is safer for everyone.

And if you’re a single parent of a toddler in a critical role WFH, or a parent with the other parent who is a doctor or nurse or supermarket stacker? Should the critical work to getting through the crisis not get done?

Very few people in this situation actually want to send their kids to school or childcare.

HoffiCoffi13 · 03/04/2020 13:05

So those who replied saying key workers still work from home, does that mean key workers who are working from home have their children in school / nursery?

Some do, some don’t. My best friend is a child protection social worker, currently working from home. Due to the nature of her work (including many telephone calls) is absolutely would be inappropriate to have her 4 year old around, therefore she is at school.
My GP is working from home, I had a telephone appointment yesterday. I imagine her young children are at school, as it would be fairly hard to run a surgery with them around.

CaryStoppins · 03/04/2020 13:05

@TrulyOutrageousJem if you’re doing a critical role at home you need to ensure you aren’t making mistakes because you’re also looking after a toddler!

GCHWho · 03/04/2020 13:07

It’s ok to wonder, it’s not ok to assume the worst of people when you you have no facts to back up the conclusion.

HoffiCoffi13 · 03/04/2020 13:07

*it absolutely would not be appropriate, that was supposed to say!

MonaLisaDoesntSmile · 03/04/2020 13:08

@TrulyOutrageousJem And to answer your latest question, maybe whatever they do is not possible with kids around. I have massively struggled with work from home and as a matter of fact managed to complete 5% of what I was supposed to do during the day with my DD around. I have had to work weekends and nights to catch up, far from ideal. I have seen loads of posts here bitching about people who work from home and don't do all they should have, and leaving other to pick up the jobs they have not finished. So you can't please everyone.

TheOrigBrave · 03/04/2020 13:08

So those who replied saying key workers still work from home, does that mean key workers who are working from home have their children in school / nursery? I would have thought if you have a vital role you would want to eliminate the risk of infection by keeping them with you and not being looked after and bring that into the home?

I think many, many people are having to make their own risk assessment, trying to balance their own KW status and the health of their family, and the risk of the spread of the virus.

Surely you must know there is no single answer.

I think you should move your desk back to where it was.

Shitsgettingcrazy · 03/04/2020 13:09

I just know that while I'm working and looking after my kids on my own I'm watching a mum and a dad, from the outset, have a really lovely break.

You have no clue if they are having a lovely break. Because you dont know them.

Just a case of the green eyed monster.

Let's assume their kids absolutely must go to school. Are you really wishing you were in that position? That your kids had to go out, so you could keep earning money?

I would have thought if you have a vital role you would want to eliminate the risk of infection by keeping them with you and not being looked after and bring that into the home?
That doesnt even make sense. Lots of people in vital roles are being exposed to it.

My dad works in the nhs and is exposed everyday. He also plays a vital role.

LakieLady · 03/04/2020 13:10

DP and I are both key workers working from home, as are hundreds of people working in the same organisation.

Unless you know for a fact what her job is, or that she doesn't have a job, YABU.

cabbageking · 03/04/2020 13:10

Funeral arrangements are done on the phone. You can't have children in the bsckground, as does some Police home working,
Local BMD is working from home.
Could be lots of examples where sensitive work needs to be done without children interrupting or being heard in the background.

CallmeAngelina · 03/04/2020 13:11

Our school has been quite thorough in checking out people's reasons for using the "service." Out of over 50 who originally registered, we've averaged around 5 or 6 each day, and the children concerned differ each day according to their parents' shift patterns.

loulou0987 · 03/04/2020 13:11

How on earth can you judge someone with absolutely no information about their lives. Not that you should be judging anyone anyway, close your curtains

HoffiCoffi13 · 03/04/2020 13:12

In fact I find it hard to believe that anyone can’t imagine circumstances in which it would be impossible to look after children while working from home.
My mum works for the NHS, she is currently able to work from home but this involves spending the day on the telephone to patients. She also has to be fully contactable at certain hours. She obviously doesn’t have children at home but would not be able to do her job with children around.

theseriousmoonlight · 03/04/2020 13:12

I'm currently wfh as a teacher. My oh is a doctor and as such is working quite had at the moment. We made the decision to keep our toddler at home despite it being very difficult for me to work well with her here. I'm pregnant though and we want to minimise the risk as much as we can (not easy when oh has poor ppe and us working on a covid ward).

I have been thinking about maybe sending toddler back to the childminder just for one day a week just so I get a chance to do the work I desperately want to do to help my classes. The thought I could be judged by my neighbours, people I want to get on well with as pur local community is so important (especially now) has made me think twice...

Bee128 · 03/04/2020 13:12

It’s not just children of keyworkers it’s children with ehcps and vulnerable children.

Saying that both mine have EHCP’s but I am able to stay at home with them so I’m not sending them.

Another mum I know doesn’t work but her child is going because there’s social care involved and he’s vulnerable! Will be better for his and his mum (who’s a great mother but has issues herself) so he’s going in!

Whoareyoudududu · 03/04/2020 13:12

The children may be considered vulnerable, those children also have a right to still attend school right now. My DC’s school asked for evidence that BOTH parents were key workers.