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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour isn't a key worker

351 replies

TrulyOutrageousJem · 03/04/2020 12:36

Since working from home I have moved my desk into the bay window. It's nice to see cars and occasionally people and to not be staring at a blank wall. I'm new to the street and only moved in two months ago so I'm not on chatting terms with anybody yet just a polite hello.

As I'm in the window I have noticed that my neighbour facing gets up each day, takes her small baby (younger than one) to the nursery and her kids to school then comes back home. She isn't working outside of the home as far as I can see and both her and her partner are there all day. She drops the smallest off at 8am and picks up at 5:30pm Monday - Friday so not even a reduced time. I like to keep to myself but it's driving me insane that she is playing the system while I have my small children, yes driving me insane, while trying to work and homeschool but that is just the way it is.

Today it looks like they are doing a spot of DIY because they are childless for the day/week?!?!!!

I desperately want to say something.

OP posts:
unhappyclap · 03/04/2020 14:37

The parents may have children who are eligible for free school meals, or their family may be vulnerable for various reasons, and it may be safer for the children to be at school. Honestly OP, as you are working, I think you should focus on that and stop watchign the family. You are being unreasonable here.

Shopkinsdoll · 03/04/2020 14:38

She might be working from home but if she isn’t that’s pretty awful to send your kids to school just for the sake of it or an easy life. I know of plenty who do this and find it hard to keep my mouth shut. Very very selfish.

museumum · 03/04/2020 14:39

I know somebody having intensive therapy for horrific childhood sexual abuse by videocall due to covid. It would be deeply inappropriate for her therapist to have a child in the house during those calls!

pointythings · 03/04/2020 14:39

This virus is really bringing out the nosy parker curtain twitchers, isn't it?

I'm a key worker (and before you start, I am allowed breaks - this is my first since 8 am). I am working 10 hours days from home keeping the NHS going. My kids are older teens so can sort themselves, but I would not be able to do my work with little ones round my feet.

You admit knowing nothing about your neighbours' jobs and yet you sit there judging them. You should be ashamed. Angry

CatherineOfAragonsPomegranate · 03/04/2020 14:41

FGS. Another snooping thread. Get some blinds, or better still, mind your business!

NeighbourPooNameChange · 03/04/2020 14:43

Ahhh, boredom can be a terrible thing OP. Can you maybe learn a language or take up something constructive? It’s a slippery slope you’re on!

Straycatstrut · 03/04/2020 14:47

The kids may very well be better off at school/nursery. I'd be happy for the kids.

Ladyinamask · 03/04/2020 14:47

I’m a key worker and heave been at home working for most of last 2 weeks. I am being redeployed and will be front line next to a ventilator from tomorrow. Be very careful about assumptions!
I bet my neighbour don’t have a clue what my job is.
My children are at home btw and completely driving me mad but they may have to go to school on some days when I work soon.

Also another possibility is that the children go because they are considered children in need.

Nousernameforme · 03/04/2020 14:49

another vote for vulnerable you can't exactly go up and say oi have you got any social service involvement with your children can you

PieceOfMaria · 03/04/2020 14:52

How can you 'play the system' like this though?

My sister and BIL are key workers and they have a letter from the local council to say they are. Don't all key workers have to have some form of ID to verify why they are considered key?

PieceOfMaria · 03/04/2020 14:53

I can't imagine schools and nurseries are just letting any children in because their parents give them some cock and bull story that isn't backed up by some sort of officialdom?

Wolfff · 03/04/2020 14:58

This level of surveillance by neighbours reminds me of stories my Mum told me about living in an occupied country during WW2. The jealously and sheer nastiness is unbelievable. I can really now see how
people were betrayed by vindictive spite.

I am a key worker and if my kids were young, I would be expected to send them to nursery/school and continue to work from home.

There could be invisible disabilities or
mental illness for all anyone knows if she is not working. Presumably the school or nursery accept she has a valid reason for sending them.

JackiFazaki · 03/04/2020 15:06

I see GCHQ are working from home today.

DonnaDarko · 03/04/2020 15:08

Stop snooping and get on with your job.

Loads of key workers are working from home and their circumstances are really none of your business.

okiedokieme · 03/04/2020 15:13

They could be working alternate nightshifts as nurses for all you know. My friend is a keyworker but works from home - freight, including getting ppe to hospitals for instance!

NotACleverName · 03/04/2020 15:14

I just know that while I'm working and looking after my kids on my own I'm watching a mum and a dad, from the outset, have a really lovely break.

Even if they are having a "really lovely break" it's got fuck all to do with you.

Snowpatrolling · 03/04/2020 15:16

I’m a key worker in the community, and didn’t get a space for my child. People like her piss me off!

CuppaZa · 03/04/2020 15:17

One of ‘those’ neighbours are we OP? Aren’t your neighbours lucky to have someone like you on their doorstep Hmm

cologne4711 · 03/04/2020 15:19

She might be working from home but if she isn’t that’s pretty awful to send your kids to school just for the sake of it or an easy life. I know of plenty who do this and find it hard to keep my mouth shut. Very very selfish

People have to prove their keyworker status to continue to send their kids to school. This is uninformed nonsense and you don't know "plenty" of people like this at all.

poppadopolis · 03/04/2020 15:20

People like her piss me off!

People like her? What do you mean?

You know nothing about her. Neither does the OP.

damnthatanxiety · 03/04/2020 15:20

I wonder if all the people who say 'mind your own business' would also ignore signs of abuse....we either work and engage as a community or we don't. Hmm

cologne4711 · 03/04/2020 15:21

I’m a key worker in the community, and didn’t get a space for my child. People like her piss me off

But you've proved my point - you need key worker status to get a space for your child and even then you might not. So nobody without key worker status will get a space. So you can save your anger.

cologne4711 · 03/04/2020 15:22

I wonder if all the people who say 'mind your own business' would also ignore signs of abuse....we either work and engage as a community or we don't

Signs of abuse are very different to watching whether people take their kids to nursery, go out more than once a day or buy Easter eggs "unnecessarily". And you know that very well and are simply posting goady nonsense, which I've been stupid enough to respond to.

cologne4711 · 03/04/2020 15:24

And to be honest when I looked at the list of key workers it looked like everyone except my husband and I were on it, we must have the most useless jobs in the world! The list is very wide.

Sugarfreejelly · 03/04/2020 15:24

We are both key workers and work from home at the moment. Our DC is still in nursery. We are not doing anything wrong. Mind your own business.

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