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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I’ve been named and ‘shamed’

854 replies

EstuaryBird · 03/04/2020 09:32

Admittedly it’s only on our local WhatsApp group...

Opened it this morning and there’s a message from a ‘founder’ member of the group.

“Me, hubs and the kids were out last night making lots of noise for our NHS heroes. Disappointed to see that some of this group don’t care enough to give up 2 minutes of their time!!! Maybe you forgot..(then a list of names including mine). Will be sending you a reminder next week!!”

I know she’s a twat but I’m fuming. I’m not going to dignify it with a reply because she and her little crew of followers love a public war. I’m just going to ignore her but if she thinks she’s forcing me out next week she’s got another bloody think coming.

Tbh if I wasn’t on lockdown I wouldn’t even give it 2 thoughts but I’m winding myself up about it now!

AIBU to think that clapping is not compulsory and nobody else’s business?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
WhatWouldYouDoWhatWouldJesusDo · 03/04/2020 15:00

Oh and I'm also my son's carer.

Currently providing care 24 / 7 without a break and with all services closed to us. Like a lot of carers........and there a lot in far worst positions than me. As in carers and disabled people living in single room accommodation that isnt fit for purpose in part thanks to this present government. Do we get clapped too ? 🧐

peterlon1 · 03/04/2020 15:03

@Chipperfish ok looked it up so who would be Major Major?

reesewithoutaspoon · 03/04/2020 15:05

Had a few out clapping and pot banging. They know I,m a nurse. I think I was supposed to go to the door and show my humble appreciation maybe with a few tears. I only assume this, as when nothing happened in response to her whoops and cheers. She proceeded in coming to the front of my house and banging and cheering there.
The same arsehole has had gardeners here for the last 2 days with chainsaws cutting down her conifers. they woke me by banging on my door at12 midday after my 4th nightshift to tell me to move my car so they could get to her trees. She can fuck off if she thinks I,m going to make her feel better about herself because she clapped and banged her pans.

peterlon1 · 03/04/2020 15:06

that's me as well disabled and living in totally unfit premises that I struggle with every day all day, do I get a clap lol {smile}

peterlon1 · 03/04/2020 15:07

@reesewithoutaspoon lol love that if I was still a nurse I do exactly the same lol

Snowpatrolling · 03/04/2020 15:07

I’d be telling her exactly what o thought of her:

I didn’t go to my window to clap, I did a little cheer from my bed.
I’m incredibly poorly at the mo and if someone had the audacity to name and shame me I’d be wiping the floor with them!!

Petrarkanian · 03/04/2020 15:08

I read 1 in every 30 people were a stasi informer.
You can see from this how easy it would be to recruit and just how effective it is.

We don't have a village whatsapp thankfully

peterlon1 · 03/04/2020 15:14

@Petrarkanian ho yes this virus beside bringing out nastiness in people worse than the virus itself, but there are now hundreds of little Hitlers up and down the country. Tell you if one came anywhere near me their little badge would go so far up their arse they have to stick a pole down their fucking throat with a cloth on to polish it.

LightDrizzle · 03/04/2020 15:16

Goody Clap and her ilk are potentially very dangerous people en masse. Sadly for her we still live in a democracy with a largely common law based legal system that reflects our historical mistrust of prescribing and codifying behaviours from the top down.
I bet some of the most fervent pan bangers and firework people are those who troupe off en famille to A&E when their Amelia has been up three nights with earache, because they are the closest and most loving of families doncha know, and post photos of Amelia looking sad on social media #4hoursandwaiting ☹️

I didn't do it last week because I managed to miss that it was planned and knew nothing until it popped up afterwards on Breaking News on my BBC App. I thought it was nice, a spontaneous show of support, and if I'd known I'd have gone to the door. By this week I decided not to because I dislike the mood that has gathered around it, and while I'm sure the intention is lovely, it also seems a bit patronising and I'd feel embarrassed by the idea that me spending 2 minutes on my doorstep in any way constitutes me "supporting" the NHS. My close was quiet so perhaps we are all "discusting" down here, including the two who work for the NHS.

londonrach · 03/04/2020 15:18

Leave the group. Its a choice to do it. Ive done it with dd the last two weeks but sure how long will continue.

Moomin8 · 03/04/2020 15:18

Tell her to fuck off and ask her if she's done anything more useful than bloody clapping?!!

Laserbird16 · 03/04/2020 15:19

How lovely she's apologised. Perhaps you can remind her next week to not be the Clap Stasi 🤭

MissEliza · 03/04/2020 15:21

@reesewithoutaspoon that's absolutely appalling. Please tell me you gave them a piece of your mind.

Firef1y72 · 03/04/2020 15:22

I actually had an autistic meltdown over all this last night. I've spent most of my life trying (unsuccessfully) to fit in and it's only been the last couple of years since my dx that I've managed to change my mindset to sod it, if people can't take me as I am then that's their problem.

Anyway I didn't join in last week and didn't join in last night, the whole idea of the people in this staunchly tory village clapping the nhs just confuses me.

I'm guessing that they're doing it because it somehow makes them feel better (or superior), but feck me it's cringe worthy and then all the self congratulatory facebook posts....which are mostly from the same people who seem to be having a wonderful time home schooling their children. We've got through the last 2 weeks without killing each other I can that a win (I'm autistic so is my son). It was my 10yo autistic son's birthday yesterday, so excuse me if I didn't want to stand on the doorstep screaming and clapping when his day has been completely ruined and he doesn't have the understanding about why.

Same people have also made me feel so bad about going out that I've been leaving it until it's dark to walk and haven't run for a week. As I said I'm autistic and running is one of my coping strategies.

romatheroamer · 03/04/2020 15:22

Plenty of time to read at the moment so an old copy of Granta re Diana's death well worth a re-read. A dissenting group of people had written to newspapers and this was short articles from all of them. While all sorry for the death of a young woman and for her sons, they couldn't get the mass hysteria, the flowers and teddies for a woman most of the people didn't know. Some felt nervous about starting a conversation till they knew how the other person felt about it.
Seems to me this is the same phenomenon...a clapping fascism instead of a flower fascism.
seems to me this

peterlon1 · 03/04/2020 15:24

@MissEliza it's nothing when people know you are a nurse on nightshift they always find an excuse to bang on your door, I used to tell them to fuck off

TealWater · 03/04/2020 15:24

I wonder if any of these clapper dobbers, I mean anyone country-wide who likes to bully and shame people who don't do the latest mindless sheeple craze, are/have read this thread and have now come to their senses, realise what cult-like twats they are, and feel inwardly ashamed of themselves?

twinkle2306 · 03/04/2020 15:24

I'd go out every night outside her house and bang a saucepan at really unreasonable times.

SwerfandTurf · 03/04/2020 15:26

I live in a huge development with loads of 15-story apartment buildings close together. We all have balconies so it’s nice during isolation to see so many people out on their balconies at the same time. For me it’s more of a chance to share a communal moment with so many of my neighbours. Maybe half the residents participate and it’s fine that not everyone does. The development has its own medical clinic on-site and they posted later that they could hear the clapping and appreciated it. So I think it can be a lovely gesture.

Horrified that people are being shamed or harassed for not doing it! And really if you don’t have a lot of neighbours close by what’s the point?

SwerfandTurf · 03/04/2020 15:28

This thread is an hilarious antidote to the “Goody Claps” of this world!

SteamingTheDoorKnobs · 03/04/2020 15:28

Hmm, compelled pan bashing, how very Soviet.

PyongyangKipperbang · 03/04/2020 15:30

Personally I think we should introduce clapping for all the Delivery Drivers out there.

Any time between 8am and 5pm

That is hilarious! :o:o

peterlon1 · 03/04/2020 15:31

@Firef1y72 That is really bad for you and I have empathy with your situation, I have a nephew in the same boat, fortunately wasn't his birthday but he does not understand why he cannot take the dog out on walks for hours anymore. I would just stick my finger up at them and carry on my usual routine if I were you. They have no idea how this is affecting you so much more then then usually cos there brains is in their genitals so not big enough to form a wide picture of a situation. Take care and do what you need to do to keep you sane.

peterlon1 · 03/04/2020 15:32

sorry about spelling and typing most joints don't work too good these days

Durgasarrow · 03/04/2020 15:35

"I was too busy knitting socks for the troops"

Your response was perfect, Estuary bird. I'm so glad you haven't left. We need to hear more!