To ask my mother and sister to babysit my daughters.

[YouDoYou18]

I’m pregnant and have a consultant appointment at the end of May, and will then have four more between then and my due date at the beginning of August.

I’m hoping this lockdown will have made a little progress by then but assuming we’re in the same position... I can’t take my children to the women’s hospital, and my husband can’t take the time off (I have to have weekly midwife appointments which he’s gotten the time off for, he simply can’t take anymore).

The only people left are my mother and sister, they always babysit together as they are from the same household, they are both shielding (neither had a letter but mother due to a disability and sister just because she lives with her) we are also shielding due to pregnancy complications, so none of us have been outside. There is no one else I can ask, they’re already totally happy with it but I’m concerned we’ll get into trouble, but I have to go to my appointments.

Can I call 111 and get advice on what the law is surrounding this?! Or is that just silly?

AIBU?

If your mum and sister are genuinely high risk, do you or your husband have a friend who isn’t, ideally who lives alone to minimise risk of infection? I think in these circumstances people who might normally not be keen to babysit would be more willing to help.
I also find it hard to believe your DHs work wouldn’t let him have a few half days off to support a high risk pregnancy medical appointment, especially if he offered to make up the hours. Has he really really pushed them? Considering that this is a medical need and not just that you are struggling to work from home with kids or something, I think he basically needs to insist.

18m, 6m and another on the way, with a husband who can’t take time off during a national crisis to attend to family difficulties?

You’ve got bigger problems than these midwife appointments.

All consultant appointments are being done over the phone bar the 37 week appointment I was worried about the same thing last week.
Try not to worry. Give them a call and give them a heads up of the situation so they can 'tell you If there any point in actually travelling to the hospital.

Maryann1975
"I'm intrigued as to what your dh does that makes him so important he can’t have time off to have the dc. If he’s a doctor, fair enough."

Sports direct isn't open. But we do need other shops open and although people don't seem to understand this, we need admin staff as well. As well as delivery drivers and the list of key workers.

@silver1977, yes you have misunderstood, the OP's DH can still go to work.

Can we stop with asking if the OP can do the appointments over the phone? No she can't and thanks to funding being cut, for home management, supplying BP/temperature etc machines and the technology/staff in one centre taking the readings. Neither can a lot of appointments.

The OP and unborn baby are at more risk not attending appointments than her Mum babysitting. Pregnancy goes so well in the developed world because we have this monitoring. Stop it and we will have more natal related deaths, again.

Just to add that key workers are also all of the backup staff needed when someone goes into hospital and dies, or needs home care. Doctors make up part of that team, but without the rest people still die.

The new law that's been brought out takes away some of the admin, but it doesn't take away the need for cleaning. Cleaners are just as important. So readjust your thinking.

If you're recommended to move family in - effectively merging households - is that much different from having two households that visit each other but otherwise remain isolated (as much as possible) from others?

Wouldn't it be similar to children being allowed to visit different parent's houses? you're effectively creating a virtual household

I'm struggling with the maths - how can you have a six month old baby and be due another at the beginning of August?

Hearhooves coz pregnancy only lasts 9 months...

Sorry but your husband has to bite the bullet & pull his finger out instead of expecting other people to look after his child. I know it’s not quite as simple as that I have had the same problem with my husband in the past. It was always me who had to take time off work to look after our child when sick as he ‘couldn’t.’ In the end I said he had to share the load. It may be really hard for him and I’m sure he is facing pressure but tell him your mum and sister can’t and does he expect you to miss the appointment?

Anotherdayanotherdollar

Ok. A six month old would have been born in October. A baby due beginning of August would have been conceived beginning November.

Sorry I haven’t read the whole thread and sorry if it’s been suggested already but why doesn’t your husband cancel time off for normally routine midwife appointments and instead request the time off for any others?

Hi OP. I'm in the same position.

High risk pregnancy with multiple appointments, no childcare for other children due to family members self isolating. My husband is just having to take time off. His work arent happy about it, but theres literally nothing else we can do in these circumstances.

The hospital have been very good in combining lots of my appointments together. I used to have separate appointments for the midwife, consultant, growth scans, blood pressure, multiple blood tests and 5 separate glucose intolerance tests. But theyve been amazing at organising these appointments so that I don't have to go in more than once a week. I'm also supposed to be having appointments at my gp with the midwife there but they've scrapped them for me and the hospital is picking up the slack. They honestly cant have been more accommodating, so it's worth talking to them to see if theres anything like that they can do?

Due to my complications I've been scheduled in for an early c section in the beginning of may. So it's looking likely that I will be in on my own while my husband is at home with my other 2. Its scary, but these are extreme times.

To the posters telling her to just have the appointments on the phone.... how on earth can they check anything to do with a pregnancy over the phone?? And they are most certainly not cancelling routine ante natal appointments. They may be routine, but they are vitally important.

Hearhoovesthinkzebras, that's not impossible timing is it? It's not that uncommon to have a 10 or 11 month age gap, and women are often super fertile after birth.

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras she was born in September :) shes 7mo at the end of this month!

@MintyMabel sorry I don’t get what you mean?

Thought the parental leave can be taken as a day BUT anything less that a week is rounded up to a week in terms of allowance not pay. So you get 4 blocks of 1 week. If he takes 1 day then only 3 more weeks left of the allowance.
But pay is only deducted for the one day.
Hope that makes sense

Plenty of comapnys don't allow time off at the best of times so I totally get it.
DH works where there's only one other employee and the manager. When ones off even for 2 hours it has an impact as their diary is always full.
If I was you Op I would do it. Like a PP said its no different to a child going between seperate parents houses

Were having dsc here from today for a week. It's in the CAO we've been told we should keep to routine for their MH. Plus if we didn't dsc DM would use it and stop future contact. And would mean another court battle. So we don't have much choice tbh even considering the risks.

Your husband is entitled to time for prenatal appointments

Time off*

Your husband will HAVE to have the day off. Not ideal but if your appointment isn't cancelled then he has no option.

Do what is best for you , and DONT ask here
You’ll get a shit load of useless advice

I would phone the hospital and discuss it with them. Buy a blood pressure machine so you can keep a record yourself.

Do NOT call 111.

Jesus.

It is essential that you attend your hospital appointments if they are still going ahead, particularly if you have pregnancy complications as you mentioned. Obviously the best and safest option would be for your husband to look after your children but if he absolutely cannot, then get your sister to look after them as she will be the lower risk if your mum has a disability. Don't get them both round as this just increases the risk unnecessarily. You can't just cancel the appointments and hope for the best

Hi op is there any possibility you called call acas to find out youre husbands rights as far as appointments concerned.
I think you are being sensible trying to formulate a plan in advance however so much could change try not to worry to far in advance (easy for me to say i know!!).
A previous poster said about buying a blood pressure machine-this seems a fairly good idea just incase??.