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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To put children in school when I'm not working?

239 replies

hibbledobble · 02/04/2020 18:40

I know that at the moment, school is childcare for key workers only, and that children should only go in when necessary.

I'm a junior doctor, and I have just been sent to covid-19 wards, from previously doing a speciality.

I am happy to help in these extraordinary circumstances, but I am struggling with the current situation. There has been a lot of anxiety regarding the change into an unfamiliar environment, and lack of communication from the hospital. I haven't done general medicine for a very long time.

Emotionally it is harrowing right now, and I find myself crying daily at work. It is really difficult to cope. As doctors, we have been warned that we will all have PTSD by the end of this.

Would IBU to put my children in school some days when I'm not working, to give myself some space to focus on my mental health?

OP posts:
Destroyer · 02/04/2020 19:23

If the kids are already going to school on her workings days, it's really not going to make any difference if they also go in on her non-working days is it?!

Of course it does, because it increases the risk of exposure. And very probably to a wider range of children and staff (who will be coming in on a rota basis)

IHateCoronavirus · 02/04/2020 19:25

I am a teacher. Today I was on duty. I get to play with and care for children like yours. I got to see happy faces, bright eyes and hear infectious giggles while their parents, like you saw unspeakable sadness.
Yes it has its risks. But it was an honour to bring joy to your children’s lives while you try to save so many others.
Bring your children, we will care for them and love them like our own.
To all of the chancers who are happy to risk the lives of my loved ones and colleagues. Please realise that it is not just our lives that hang in the balance, but those of the op whose child could take something home with them.

Destroyer · 02/04/2020 19:26

But you are putting your children at greater risk so you can have time without them.

We are both key workers, but we are working (when humanly possible) to keep our children away from school at all costs.

rc22 · 02/04/2020 19:27

@Destroyer

Yes but there are key workers and there are key workers. At my school, I have been looking after kids today whose parents work in a bank. I'm happy with that - basic financial services need to be maintained. If they came and said they needed extra days because they were finding work in the bank traumatic under the current circumstances, I would be sceptical and we would probably say no. Front line NHS staff working with Covid 19 patients...different story...

Poetryinaction · 02/04/2020 19:28

It does increase the risk as teachers are on a rota so her kids will.see different teachers each day.

sadmumbecauseofson · 02/04/2020 19:28

Do whatever you need to do, thank you. X

Chillyegg · 02/04/2020 19:29

I’m a teacher . We’re salaries so I think for the first and last time we can go in on our holidays and help. Because quite frankly where the fuck else are we going. My school had 4 in today no real hardship for extras. Yes the risk of transmission is higher blah blah but without drs looking after all pads of their well-being we’ll have none in a months time .
Send the kids in I’d be happy to have them .
Thankyou for everything xxx

Nanalisa60 · 02/04/2020 19:29

But them to school, and get some sleep!! Anyone who says you are wrong is a twatt!!

Thank you for working so hard!! And look after yourself, your kids will be fine in school with the wonderful teachers and other children in the same position as yours.

Take care and get some sleep.

Destroyer · 02/04/2020 19:30

@rc22

I agree there are key workers and there are key workers. Are you saying that the OP is the only dr? What about the children of others?

We have to all abide by the rules or accept that everyone chooses to interpret the rules in their own ways.

Chillyegg · 02/04/2020 19:31

Bloody typos on my phone.

  • Salaried
  • parts not pads. Trying to put my child to bed and typing is hard.
StarUtopia · 02/04/2020 19:31

I don't know what you should do. But you're doing an amazing job.

Is it true that even children are alone if they have this??? That really does scare me.

OhCaptain · 02/04/2020 19:31

Whatever you need to do, you do.
No one will ever be able to repay frontline staff. Not ever.

Anyway, I think it’ll be good for your children. Some normalcy and emotional distance from what you’re sure to be going through at home.

Thank you for what you’re doing. And PLEASE ignore the arsey posts.

Some people get a kick out of sticking the boot in. No one that vile deserves your attention. Flowers

myfav · 02/04/2020 19:31

I totally understand why you would require time to rest both mentally and physically on your days off. Unfortunately the school my kids attend are stopping this from happening and children are only in when the parent is on shift.
Just as a side it's getting to me a bit people lumping all key workers in the same category. I have no doubt (because my mum rings me everyday to let me know how her day has gone) that those treating covid patients require far greater support. Firstly there is the high danger of themselves contracting covid 19 and secondly the trauma of witnessing so many patients die which you just don't get with other key worker jobs.

DickClarksNewYearsRockinEve · 02/04/2020 19:32

Work in education and would take your child in a heartbeat. Thank you Flowers.

ArchieStar · 02/04/2020 19:32

I came on here to berate you, but from the bottom of my heart... thank you. Thank you for helping to keep our country safe when you feel unsafe yourself. YANBU. All the best to you and thank you again 💖

rc22 · 02/04/2020 19:32

@Destroyer Each head teacher needs to look at each case on its merits. There is nothing to be gained from allowing the OP's mental health to deteriorate to a point where she can't do her job or look after her kids.

Destroyer · 02/04/2020 19:34

But it’s not about the workload for teachers having an extra couple, of children, it’s about minimising the risk for everyone. That includes children. By having her day off (which I’m not saying she doesn’t deserve) she is putting other people's children at greater risk, it can’t be one rule for one and one for another.

What is the thing that’s going round? 'We're going to work for you, so you stay at home for us'. Should we add an adendum? Unless we decide our children should go into school, so we can have some time without them?'

Devlesko · 02/04/2020 19:34

I find it so sad you feel you need to ask.
Thank you so much for what you are doing. I can't think of anyone I admire more atm, and honestly so many people feel the same way.
Please get some rest after your shift, take time for yourself to temporarily recover.
Best of luck to you, my love Thanks
I'm clapping for you.

DisinfectantDoris · 02/04/2020 19:34

I'm a teacher and YADNBU putting them in one extra day a week, infact I'll put you in detention if you don't Wink

moita · 02/04/2020 19:35

YANBU. Thank you for your work

carly2803 · 02/04/2020 19:35

do it.

you need it

Thank you for what you do. cannot imagine how horrific it is on the front line

maneandfeathers · 02/04/2020 19:36

Personally I don’t think I would send my own children, I don’t want to expose them any more than I have to. I am a key worker however won’t be sending my own.

Also my DH is a teacher, there’s more risk to him bringing it home to our family. It’s risky enough to him without exposing him more, teachers are doing it to help out families as much as possible and if they all get sick there will be no childcare at all Sad

GuyFawkesDay · 02/04/2020 19:36

Teacher here.

You are why we are staying open. Ignore all the naysayers.

All power to you, and thank you.

Destroyer · 02/04/2020 19:36

There is nothing to be gained from allowing the OP's mental health to deteriorate to a point where she can't do her job or look after her kids.

And what about her's and people's physical health? One person off with a mental illness or many people off (including key workers and their children - because that’s who the op's children will be infecting) with the Coronavirus. Probably having to go into the hospital where she works...

Iateallthecookies000 · 02/04/2020 19:36

I think you should do it and I think the teachers should do it too as I’m sure they are struggling too.

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