I gave money to a lady begging door to door.

[Brooksey5]

Our door bell went, I opened it (keeping my social distance) and it was a pregnant lady. She said that all the churches etc that would normally help were closed and she’s been walking round all day trying to get help. She can’t walk anymore and she needed money to get a train to her moms.

I let her charge her phone on an extension cable and gave her the rest of the money for her train fair.

Was I unreasonable to give her the money? Am I an absolute mug who will now get inundated by people begging because I’ve helped one person? I helped her because I figured that even if her story wasn’t true she’s obviously someone in need and the services that normally help people must be harder to access right now.

I’m not opening my door atm. Deliveries just knock and run anyway. If there was someone stood there I’d want to know who it was and what they wanted before opening the door..

I was on London recently and saw a young girl in her 20s on the street., shabbily dressed. And crying.
I did give her money . She said she needed it for a bed.
I told her that I didn't care what she used it for , just whatever she needed to get through.
She may have bought drink or drugs with it . But I doubt that she was on the street because she had a decent home life to go back to.If we knew what forces these young people on the streets , maybe we might resort to drink , drugs too.
I could afford to lose the money so I took a chance on being scammed.

There was really sad article once with a mother asking people not to give money etc. Her son was drug addict on the streets and these don't apparently usually seek help until they hit the bottom. By giving him money and food people kept him just above that bottom.

Charities around too ask not to give money. If you want to give money, give to charity not directly to people on streets. We have some great local ones. I listen to them.

“ mug’ is a bit victim blaming if you ask me.
It’s a scam but they are the con merchants. It’s a good human quality to be kind rather than a miserable cynic..
Possibly the ability to be assortative and ask the right questions might be useful in the future but she was at fault not you Op.

You sound kind op but she was probably a fraud. I’ve heard of this sort of thing a lot recently.

those servics have all been pulled at the moment.the homeless are copping it & so much worse position now.so in yiour own meaning you did the right thing for someone who was in need.yes i think there are awful shitheads scamming people,but from your end you did a really kind thing.be careful yes alway but never stop being kind esepcailly rgiht now.but do be very careful.

@Eckhart where I did I say that my story was "definitely categorical proof that anybody claiming vulnerability is a scammer"? Wind your neck in. It is however another example that things are not always as they first appear, and sob stories from beggars may not be genuine.

You did a nice thing well done. People were nicer and less suspicious in the old days. My car once broke down in middle of nowhere with a toddler before mobiles existed. I knocked on a door and a kind lady let me ring the rac front her landline or phone as they were known then.

Wtf are you on about phones “as they were known then” 😂 - what do people call them nowadays then? Pinewhiskies?

I thought the advice was that giving money was the worst thing you could do because it stops the beggars from engaging with services. How would you feel if your well meant donation meant that person died on the streets through the drugs you enabled them to buy?

Also, there is a link between organised begging and modern slavery.

They don't just
a) distract you while someone goes round the back
b) case the house for a burglary later

They also:
a) get you to open the door so that their accomplices can barge the house and rob you on the spot
b) find out if you have a dog to steal and come back later to steal your pet and pick up anything they fancy on the way out.

The women that knock on car windows stopped at junctions etc. are also working overtime at the moment. They seem to think that drivers are stupid enough to open the window. If they have no luck they toddle off to the station to look pathetic and ask for train fare. Right up close.

DP was cleaning the car on the driveway the other day and a man approached him and asked for money as he was homeless. DP said we don't have any cash in the house (which is true, and not planning to get any out with corona and how many people could have touched those notes) but we made him a packed lunch instead. Saw him yesterday when we went for a run doing it with another house a few streets away. No idea if it's a scam but did think that as town centres are effectively closed people who usually beg there won't be getting any change from anyone now so may be moving into residential areas. It's hard to know what to do in those situations when you're caught off guard, but I'd definitely avoid giving out cash.

I’ve just never know people actually come to the door before. Maybe it’s because I’m not normally around in the day.
Happened to my mum many years ago, I was visiting her when a woman rushed over to me as i knocked on the door and said she was a neighbour started telling me that she needed money for the bus etc, my mum came down and answered the door and ended up giving her all her change, probably £6 or £7 worth. It was only after we realised it was unlikely she was legit.

I thought the advice was that giving money was the worst thing you could do because it stops the beggars from engaging with services

You're right, it is, but some prefer to ignore advice from those in a position to understand

And TBF we're all free to make our own decisions ... I just wish some would think a little more about the sort of consequences you mentioned

she was probably a druggie

I don’t answer my door. Everyone has their own code knock. If I don’t recognise the knock. You ain’t coming in.
Yes if it was genuine of course YANBU. However my instincts which admittedly may not always be right, do tell me this is a scam. Mind you saying that you do have to be very quick on your feet if you’re going to fake a pregnancy. You could be caught off guard with due dates ect.

I thought the advice was that giving money was the worst thing you could do because it stops the beggars from engaging with services

I have heard through work there has been a huge uptake in treatment services for addicts , maybe people should make a donation to homeless or charities that help addits

I doubt they are driving away in their gold plated car to a good life.

Does anyone else think that even if something is a 'scam' the person must be pretty desperate to do such a thing anyway?

I think all too often the beggars are the victims of people trafficking, and most of the money ends up in the pocket of the criminal gang leaders who are the ones with the gold-plated car and the good life.

There are beggars who are begging for themselves but there's no way to know who's who and who your money really goes to.

And as many have mentioned, giving to a beggar at your home exposes you to much more risk than giving to someone on the street.