I gave money to a lady begging door to door.

[Brooksey5]

Our door bell went, I opened it (keeping my social distance) and it was a pregnant lady. She said that all the churches etc that would normally help were closed and she’s been walking round all day trying to get help. She can’t walk anymore and she needed money to get a train to her moms.

I let her charge her phone on an extension cable and gave her the rest of the money for her train fair.

Was I unreasonable to give her the money? Am I an absolute mug who will now get inundated by people begging because I’ve helped one person? I helped her because I figured that even if her story wasn’t true she’s obviously someone in need and the services that normally help people must be harder to access right now.

I mean, she was definitely a scam artist and she wasn't pregnant either, but it's your money and you can throw it away however you like. Yes you may well be marked as a soft touch now, and I'm not nearly as paranoid as many MNers but this is not a time I'd be letting strangers into even the vestibule of my house.

The beggar who hangs out near my local supermarket has been "heavily pregnant" for about two years solidly now. It's an easy way for a woman to scam people because many people, from a good place, are very nervous about doing wrong by the pregnant.

@NotEverythingIsBlackandwhite Did you remember to disinfect the money and the extension cable before you gave it to her? Did you disinfect where she plugged her phone in afterwards? The door bell?

You sound a bit of a bugger to have an argument with!

You don't need to not open the door. Just learn "I am sorry, but no/I don't have any/there is a police station nearby they can help.

And check if your door are locked properly. I would say this is to suss out which houses are unoccupied.

@Carrie7469, it's not nasty to give a firm dose of realism. Unfortunately too many people fall for obvious scams, if they fall for it in reality, then they're likely to fall for less obvious ones elsewhere (like the huge amount of begging threads on MN for example). It's good to be caring, especially as people in general seem to be getting more right wing and cold in their views. However, that doesn't mean common sense should disappear. It could get you hurt financially, or worse physically.

OP have you got a door chain? Is there a letterbox?

Just from a general safety perspective, I think it’s important to see who is at your door.

You can open the door OP, don't be daft! jJust ust say 'no thanks' and close it swiftly if it's not your pre arranged visitor. Easy peasy. Why do people find that so difficult?!

The beggar who hangs out near my local supermarket has been "heavily pregnant" for about two years solidly now. It's an easy way for a woman to scam people because many people, from a good place, are very nervous about doing wrong by the pregnant. or the disabled. There’s another one where a deaf man comes round selling art but because he can’t hear you can’t communicate with him so are more inclined to give him money.

Ironically I heard about that on MN about two days before one came knocking on my door. I don’t give to anyone anyway but I remembered this was a scam, and after he walked off my DS walked out of the front door and opened our garden gate as he walked down the road.He turned around and looked at DS, so not deaf after all then....

I love how mn either have people who simply NEVER open the door unless you book an appointment and then there are people who give strangers who knocked an extension to charge their phone.
So diverse😂

@OmgThereAreNoPlanesAboveMeNow it takes all sorts 😂😂

In non Covid times there’s a scam near the train station with a pregnant woman who needs money to get a train to a relative. She’s been there on and off for over a year approaching different people. Sometimes she makes a mistake and approaches someone she’s approached before.

She may have been genuine, but you should take care with your home security now. She may be part of a gang and now perceive you as a soft target for further funds. I answered the door to a polite young man last year who claimed he had lost his wallet, hurt his leg and needed money to get the bus home. He said his mother was too drunk to collect him and it was too far to walk injured. I kept an open mind and offered him a lift home saying I was just going that way....that startled him, and he couldn't get away fast enough...funny that injured leg made a miraculous recovery as he ran up my driveway. Your gesture was very kind and well intended, but just take care.

I'd have done the same. If it's a scam, you've lost a couple quid, if it's not you've helped someone in need. I'd have spent that on machine coffee at the petrol station if I were still working.

I'd have done the same. Scam wouldn't have crossed my mind but I do live in a town with a lot of social economic issues

Oh I usually open the door. I’m happy to close it again pretty quickly though if I like.

More often than not whoever is knocking starts by trying to find the words to say whatever they want to say, by which time i have usually interjected with “what do you want!” They tend not to stay.

Well its done now but if she returns say no

I gave some cash to someone trying to get home to his dad on the train a few weeks later I'm off to work he is back same story desperate to get home I told him I had no more money and he should change his story or remember who he told it too next time so he didnt repeat himself I then stupidly went under the underpass to get to work 🤦‍♀️ apparently he went to follow me but he was stopped by other people he was FURIOUS I outed him as a scammer I just say not today and scuttle away now

YANBU. You were kind.
But please watch out for scammers. There are many out there.

Honestly, you need to with your intuition and do what you think is the right thing.

I think you did the right thing.

I think you were probably scammed.

But hey, if you can afford it , it makes you feel good , and you are not a vunerable or confused person then that's your lookout.

I worry about the people who are vunerable and confused, because they are the ones who will really get scammed as the scammers will come back, again and again.

Think to yourself, if you were really in such dire straits would you knock on random doors or would you go somewhere like a church, a vicarage, a community centre , a police station or a local authority building and ask for help. I know a lot of places are. Closed, but some are open, and a better bet than knocking at a strangers door.

I think you did a really kind thing.

I also think even as a 'scam' people are doing it as desperate. I doubt they are driving away in their gold plated car to a good life.

I'd have done the same, probably a mug too. And just be wary for future.

If you didn't feel silly after all these scathing responses you will.

I'd rather give a scammer a few quid than leave a pregnant woman destitute. You did something kind whoever she was you were kind.

I've met this woman (or at least someone with the exact same story and a pillow up her jumper)- couple of years back now. Likely a con, and now she knows where you live and that you're a soft touch. You're not being unreasonable, and hopefully you don't see an increase in this sort of thing as a result, but personally, I'd be more careful in future.

I'd have done the same. If it's a scam, you've lost a couple quid, if it's not you've helped someone in need.

It's not so much the money you lose, as if it's a scammer and this woman 100% was, her story is dripping in scam details you've fed their habit (many are addicts), meant they will continue hitting people up including elderly and vulnerable people, and it's very possible they're the forerunner for a gang who intend to burgle you. Your money is better given to a charity, food bank or church.

We have a local addict and petty burglar whose story is always that he needs bus fare to get to the hospital where his wife is in labour. he's frightened and scammed many elderly and vulnerable people locally. Pregnancy/ a baby and needing fare for transport is a big honking flag that this is probably a sob story.

Does anyone else think that even if something is a 'scam' the person must be pretty desperate to do such a thing anyway? Like people talk about not giving people begging on the street money because they actually have a flat somewhere etc? But surely you'd have to be down on your luck to sit on the concrete in the freezing cold asking strangers for money? Likewise even if the woman wasn't pregnant she'd have to be having a tough time to be going round knocking on doors

It seems very sad to me that so many people are rebuking you like this for practicing basic human kindness. (Disclaimer: we have a couple of people who regularly turn up on our doorstep for help and yes, sometimes they are annoying, and we don't always give, but looking at them and the little they have and looking at all the benefits I have that they don't, we do feel that it's our obligation to be kind and give them small help.)

Completely agree with you, triedandtestedteacher.