I gave money to a lady begging door to door.

[Brooksey5]

Our door bell went, I opened it (keeping my social distance) and it was a pregnant lady. She said that all the churches etc that would normally help were closed and she’s been walking round all day trying to get help. She can’t walk anymore and she needed money to get a train to her moms.

I let her charge her phone on an extension cable and gave her the rest of the money for her train fair.

Was I unreasonable to give her the money? Am I an absolute mug who will now get inundated by people begging because I’ve helped one person? I helped her because I figured that even if her story wasn’t true she’s obviously someone in need and the services that normally help people must be harder to access right now.

Next time, just pretend you're out.

The woman in our area who does this is one of my neighbours, makes it easier to spot the scam... last time she tried it, it turned out I was much skinter than she; she offered to lend me a tenner if I needed it .

It's an old scam OP, but you know that now. I'm happy to give out cash if I have it, but never from my door. I'm actually more likely to give it (small amounts only), if I know it's a sob story. A desperate pregnant woman can go to the police and probably recieve help. A desperate drug or alcohol addict can do nothing but become dangerously ill if they can't get cash. I've seen many people in withdrawal, I'd wish it on no one. I'm perfectly happy to pay for a bottle of cider or chip in towards someone's smack if I can afford it and it stops someone having to go through that.

If you still have all your things, you're probably fine OP. I'd not answer the door if you're not expecting anyone at the moment though, it will all be people scamming.

Yeah, you're a mug, but at least you tried to do a nice thing.

There's a beggar in my neighbourhood with a terrible limp, who hobbles about looking pathetic and wincing with every step. He was asking me for money once when he saw a police car coming and suddenly legged it off round the corner like Usain Bolt

It was kind but wipe your phone charger and anything else that was handled to prevent yourself getting corona.

@Brooksey5

No way in hell would I have given her anything.

It's a well known scam.

Don't give anything else again - ever.

It's a scam as you now know but please don't worry that your house will now be targetted for burglary or anything. They want a quick few quid from peoples kindbess and that's all usually.

I think YABU. It was undoubtably a scam; of course she had been walking all day and couldn’t walk anymore 🙄

You should have just apologised and said you couldn’t help. You’ve been had.

You are kind.

She was a scammer.

You were not virtue-signalling but seeking information by posting this on Mumsnet. I hadn't heard of having someone get in the back door while you're distracted at the front, so I have learned something useful from this thread too.

Thanks for posting this.

@StatementKnickers

There's a beggar in my neighbourhood with a terrible limp, who hobbles about looking pathetic and wincing with every step. He was asking me for money once when he saw a police car coming and suddenly legged it off round the corner like Usain Bolt

Yes, and that's definitely categorical proof that anybody claiming vulnerability is a scammer. Or was that not the point you were making?

This cab/train fare thing is an old scam.

I once had a man stop me in the street with a ridiculous tale about being locked out of his house and needing the cab fare to get to the hospital where his wife is a doctor (no way was this bloke married to a doctor). The hospital is a two mile walk away and there are frequent buses he could have caught to get there from the bus stop 100m away.

I also saw a bloke trying to con a man with the fake Rolex trick ie. "you lend me the money for the cab fare and you can keep my "expensive" Rolex until I pay you back". The man was considering it until I walked past and said "I wouldn't if I were you".

At best she's a scammer, at worst she's casing out homes.

I am surprised how chilled people are about this👀
It's not just case of few quid. That's not really worth it. I would be checking my locks and checking on vulnerable neighbours. I would also assume that it is to find empty houses. Gangs like this are highly organised and smart. Now there are no people in city centres they must find new revenue. Not just rotating beggars on 3 corners as we witnessed numerous times.

I am not saying there are no vulnerable people asking for help. There are, but be careful.

I wonder how far are you actually from train station. The trainstation she could have asked for help btw instead of going door to door.

I would have done the same as you OP.
Maybe it was a scammer, but maybe it was a young, pregnant woman in need of help.
I would rather be scammed for £10 than risk not helping someone who needed help.

You acted out of kindness, so thumbs up.

Sadly, this probably was a scam. Sometimes scammers work as part of a gang (in the same way as Nottingham knockers) and you may now be targeted as a soft touch for bigger hustles (such as people telling you your roof tiles need replacing etc).

Even if not, by giving oxygen to these people you encourage them to carry on with this line of work, and their next victims maybe more vulnerable and less able to spare the cash than you.

But what would you rather be - too nice, or to cynical?

I make up food parcels for a Christian charity & my church is still giving out food parcels.
They are doing so country wide & I'm sure all the other churches are too.
We do this all the time, even when there is no pandemic because there are always people who 'fall through the cracks' & have nowhere else to turn.

These are given out to people without them having to go through the process of getting a voucher etc... that you do with most food banks.
Anybody in need gets help, even if it's just a meal for that night straight away while more food is sorted out.

It is extremely unlikely that you live in the one area where the churches don't help.

I think you are a decent person who got scammed.

Pregnant women will have received a letter telling them to isolate for 12 weeks.

The local authorities have spent the last two days ringing up everyone on the list (shielding programme - I know as have made hundreds of phone calls myself) asking them what their support needs are and making sure they have received their government food parcel (and noting any dietary needs).

There should be no need for a pregnant lady to risk being out and about begging door to door.

Assuming you can spare the money and electric I think it was a kind thing.

What would be worse; being scammed by someone for something you can easily afford or turning someone away you could easily have helped just in case? Or something in between; maybe she hadn’t been walking all day or wanted the money for that reason but I would imagine you’d have to be quite desperate to be knocking on a random door for help.

I don’t think you did the wrong thing at all.

You don't need to help by giving money.
You can offer to call non emergency number for them. Offer an information. You can offer to buy the ticket through trainline.

If people start being smart about it and help other ways than giving money, the number of scammers will lower

I’ve just never know people actually come to the door before

Well there's not much point in hanging around bus/train stations for "the fare home" as there are so few there, so knowing most are at home they'll door knock instead

Next time, OP, maybe you'd to consider giving to a suitable local charity instead?

haven't seen her for a while but there was one lass in our town doing the just need a few bob to get somewhere she asked me on the Monday said no as I don't carry much money with me asked me again later in the week same tale as Monday and when I said maybe you should remember who you have asked and told a young couple who she moved onto don't give her any money its a scam she got all leaning on them turning on the water works and I got told I was mean by the young couple, funnily enough she never asked me again and there is one woman in our town older lady who looks like she is sleeping rough asking for change, I was at the bus stop one day and the lady I was talking too let it out she lives near me in a £150000 house ( 3 beds in that street average price) now I don't mind buying a bacon butty or a coffee but I don't give money

You did a nice thing well done. People were nicer and less suspicious in the old days. My car once broke down in middle of nowhere with a toddler before mobiles existed. I knocked on a door and a kind lady let me ring the rac front her landline, or phone as they were known then.
Kindness of strangers is a good thing.
She'll pass this on.
I also once helped a young man on motorbike who'd run out of petrol and phone charge while every one else was avoiding his eye.
Pass it on and stop being southern suspicious buggers.

Also well done OP

It sort of doesn't matter if it was a scam. She was pregnant and doing something desperate for some reason. You helped. She wouldn't be doing it if she didn't need it.

You did what felt right at the time. No-one should fault you for that. Now that you know it might have been a scam, you can act accordingly if it ever happens again.

There's a woman in our town that does this - with a fake pregnancy belly - for heroin. She's so far gone she forgets and comes back every few weeks. She's been pregnant about 4 years.

Can I suggest that you (and others) have a phone number on hand to give them instead. There are charities and organisations that will help people and be much wiser in working out who is genuine.

Our local church has a hotline for those needing help. But they need to know where the person lives etc so would be less likely to attract scammers.