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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to plan on having a BBQ

439 replies

Numptydumptyfelloffthewall · 02/04/2020 12:58

Hi,

I've seen such conflicting advice and information on this lockdown that I'm starting to doubt my own judgement. I've tried to follow the lockdown to the letter. DH and I are working full time from home and i've been out once since lockdown for food shopping. We have 2 DC (4, 6) who are home and havent been out, they run around in the garden for exercise.

I have some BBQ coal in the shed and was wondering if it would be unreasonable/ wrong for DH, me and the 2 DC to have a BBQ on Sunday when the weather is predicted to be a bit nicer. We wouldnt need to buy any supplies or meet anyone else and it would really brighten a very stressed and difficult week but I dont want to be disrespectful or undermine the lockdown, esp as I have family both on the shielding list and working in the NHS, so I really understand how important it is to delay the spread of Covid 19.

We're in a standard 1930s 3 bed semi so we have a nice sized garden but not huge. If we do go ahead, should we go in if our neighbours also come into their garden? Or set up at the bottom of the garden? I usually keep the kids inside during the actual cooking as DD4 is asthmatic but they find eating BBQ food outside to be a huge novelty/ treat.

OP posts:
Dyrne · 03/04/2020 08:24

In fairness PinkSparklyPussyCat I believe there have been some early studies that indicate that eating dry cereal and black tea may help fend off the cytokine storm associated with the Coronavirus. They need to clear up a bit of confusion about whether it also has to be in a darkened room, and they are currently ruling out whether a sackcloth and ashes are also required.

Fluffybutter · 03/04/2020 08:28

I was absolutely ripped to shreds on here about 2 weeks ago because I said I wanted to pick up a couple of birthday presents for my little girl while I was doing my weekly shop ( I’ve actually not been anywhere for over 2 weeks )
2 posters in particular were really vile and wished the virus onto my family .

An extended family member did pass away from it last Thursday night at 29, she was the youngest death that day in the UK .

Sure they’re very happy about that, being the nasty human beings they are .
They’ll also be glad to know I didn’t buy my dd any presents from Tesco either and now I have to feel guilty over Easter eggs too ?!

Zoeyclash · 03/04/2020 08:32

@Numptydumptyfelloffthewall

You've made me want to have a BBQ this weekend now! Enjoy yours and don't feel bad for having one. We all need pick-me-ups during this difficult time.

@fluffybutter
Sorry to hear about the death of your relative.

Roussette · 03/04/2020 08:50

I think the joy drainers have managed to make this into a community barbecue but in our individual gardens. I was dithering and thinking about having one at some point, I've definitely made my mind up now!

I've just told DH to check our gas one is working before I start marinading!

I haven't been to a supermarket for 10 days and there's others on here who are talking about not having been out for two weeks so all those who want to stop us having a glimmer of fun, I don't think 'we' on this thread are a problem. We are abiding by the rules and trying to make life bearable, all at the same time.
You ought to try it!

Cremebrule · 03/04/2020 09:06

Fluffybutter Sorry for your loss. That must be hard given the age. I can’t believe you were criticised for thinking about buying birthday presents. I’ve ordered some for my little girl with hers coming up. Her life has changed so much already. There is no way I’m not getting presents for a 4 year old.

unchienandalusia · 03/04/2020 09:16

Ffs have people really lost the ability to engage brain? Or were they always this dim.

Of course it's ok to have a bbq in your own garden. Preferably with wine. Maybe even a little music.

Of course it's ok to ass Easter eggs to your weekly shop. And have an Easter egg hunt. In your own fucking garden.

Rebootingagain · 03/04/2020 09:17

Well, I though the message was to shop for essential items and as infrequent Lucas possible. Stay at home seems to be on TV a lot.

Milk isn’t an “essential” as long as you have taps. Fine to pick up as part of a proper shop but a trip out just for that and chocolate goes against gov guidance and potentially undoes what a lot of us are doing bu literally staying at home.

And it’s not miserable. We are al spending more time together, learning new things, watching shows together and learning how to make do with what is already in the cupboards and get in the odd takeaway and delivery to try and support some of the local businesses who have adapted.

Maybe our rules are stricter than yours (isle of Mam) but all our non essential shops are shut anyway. Only food places chemists etc open. No inward travel (even for residents) and for the few weeks before that was imposed a full 14 day quarantine punishable by law if you broke it for anyone returning to the island.

I am day 12 and we literally haven’t been past the garden gate. It’s not hard

Roussette · 03/04/2020 09:25

I am day 12 and we literally haven’t been past the garden gate. It’s not hard

Well done you. But if you need food and milk and essentials, stop berating people for going out and getting those essentials. Personally I prefer milk in my tea and coffee.

I haven't been out in 10 days but planning a stock up shortly.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 03/04/2020 09:26

Unless the government specifically say we cannot have milk we are not drinking black tea and putting water on cereal! The corner shop is an essential shop, it sells food which, funnily enough, we’re allowed to buy!

Oh and how come you’re having a takeaway? Surely that’s not essential?

(I will be having a takeaway tonight as I have no problem with it, I just don’t understand how someone can say we have to do without milk and chocolate and yet orders a takeaway!)

PineappleDanish · 03/04/2020 09:29

I am day 12 and we literally haven’t been past the garden gate. It’s not hard

They're not handing out medals or gold stars for the people who manage to stay at home the longest, you know. Hmm

And for some people not leaving the house IS hard. My mental health takes a battering if I can't get out for a walk (on my own, obviously) at least 5 days a week. Totally agree with the comment up thread that there are some people on MN who won't be happy until everyone's sitting on their sofa, in the dark, being thoroughly miserable for the duration of the restrictions.

Rebootingagain · 03/04/2020 09:34

They're not handing out medals or gold stars for the people who manage to stay at home the longest, you know. hmm

I am aware of that. I would be breaking the law if I did, and locals are actively being encouraged to grass people up who beak their quarantine period. I don’t think you read the full post

Roussette · 03/04/2020 09:34

Totally agree Pineapple. I walk every day. But I'm lucky, I live in the middle of nowhere, don't see anyone when I walk.
Tell a lie... I saw someone in the distance 3 days ago.

I think some on here are beyond miserable, and wanting everyone to be the same as them. They don't like people taking small things, like a bbq, or an easter egg and getting joy from them. They're not doing it, and they're cross that others are.
Personally I'm looking forward to my barbecued kebabs on Sunday! That will be my joy.

JKScot4 · 03/04/2020 09:41

And when this is over, these suckers of joy will dine out on stories of how frugal they were and how they suffered for years to come.
Our on our walk yesterday we went into a wee local shop and bought juice and chocolate to eat on way home, better grass me in 🙄

Vaginandtonic · 03/04/2020 09:49

I am aware of that. I would be breaking the law if I did, and locals are actively being encouraged to grass people up who beak their quarantine period.

And you sound like you are rather enjoying all the drama tbh....

Ninkanink · 03/04/2020 09:50

Some people would love nothing more than to live in an actual police state.

Vaginandtonic · 03/04/2020 09:53

And when this is over, these suckers of joy will dine out on stories of how frugal they were and how they suffered for years to come.

Oh yes how they will....

'And I really wanted to have a barbecue in my own back garden with my own family, and absolutely no one said that we couldn't but..... it just didn't feel right to light up. Hard times they were, hard times indeed'.

TheWordmeister · 03/04/2020 09:55

Why are you even asking OP?

Ridiculous question.

Vaginandtonic · 03/04/2020 09:58

Think about it OP - one of your neighbours might witness you actually experiencing a pleasurable moment as you bring the burger in a bap to your lips. It's just not worth the risk....

ClaudiaWankleman · 03/04/2020 10:01

Milk isn’t an “essential” as long as you have taps

Snort. It's porridge with water and salt only! BJ said it, didn't any of you actually listen to his Facetime announcement on BBC Breakfast?

CoralFish · 03/04/2020 10:05

I suggested a BBQ and DH said we should keep the coal in case the gas and electricity get cut off and it is all we have to cook with. He is a panicker and I will win him round to a BBQ when he is in a better mood. YANBU. Go ahead.

Cremebrule · 03/04/2020 10:06

Rebootingagain If milk isn’t essential what do you suggest giving small children to drink? If I run out of milk, I’m not giving my 12m old water and no milk in a day.

Fluffybutter · 03/04/2020 10:16

@Cremebrule thank you, was a shock .
Yes was absolutely hammered for it .
Apparently I should’ve bought them all a year ago because I can obviously see into the future so would’ve known this would happen .
My dd will be 9 and like you say, their lives have changed so much already and she misses her friends ,family and teachers .
I want her birthday to bring a little joy to her life ,I don’t think that’s terrible but others said i was selfish Sad
Hope your lo has a lovely birthday , it’ll be a different one for sure !

Wonderbag · 03/04/2020 10:25

We’re having a bbq Sunday.
With food we’ve already got in and a bottle of wine I’ve been saving

I would not go to ASDA for beers and burger buns this Saturday or Sunday though.

sonjadog · 03/04/2020 10:36

I can't believe that someone actually discounts milk as an essential because you can just use water instead. That surely can't be for real.

Summersun77 · 03/04/2020 10:37

@Rebootingagain you’re telling someone milk isn’t essential whilst ordering takeaways? You massive, massive hypocrite. Absolute cheek of you!