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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask exactly what is essential shopping?

112 replies

UnaCorda · 02/04/2020 11:50

I'm not intending to be goady (although getting a bit tired of the shopping basket police) and clearly we shouldn't be popping to the shops every five minutes for a packet of crisps, but who gets to decide what counts as essential? Even with something like tea and coffee you could argue that it's perfectly possible to drink water instead (personally I don't drink either).

Fresh fruit and veg are important, but no individual fruit or vegetable is in itself essential - and you wouldn't die if you didn't eat any at all for a couple of weeks. You can manage without milk - you don't have to have cereal for breakfast, or drink tea of coffee (see above). You clearly don't need meat or fish - vegetarians manage without them all the time. By the same token, you don't need cheese or yoghurt or eggs - vegans don't eat them. You don't need loo roll - use a bidet or flannel. Etc., etc.

So all we can really conclude is that we need some sort of comestibles as fuel, but no one item in and of itself can be seen as essential.

Or AIBU?

OP posts:
InDubiousBattle · 02/04/2020 11:58

As you say, just don't nip to the shops all of the time. Bread and milk are always touted as essential but really they're no better or worse than rice, pasta etc. When I'm doing our shopping I buy bits and bobs that are 'frivolous', sticker books for the kids, Easter eggs etc. I think it's fine.

Novembernickname · 02/04/2020 12:01

A varied diet is essential for your immune system, general health and mental health.

I would say a general shop done once a week is essential.
Not essential - nipping out to get one or two items that you can probably do without until your weekly shop.

CaptainBrickbeard · 02/04/2020 12:02

I’d interpret it as essential trips rather than essential items. So, I need to feed my family for a week and can’t get a delivery slot - I’ll go to the supermarket and buy enough food that means I won’t have to go back before the week is up. Whilst I’m there I might buy Easter eggs and conditioner or whatever items can be deemed inessential but the trip was an essential one as we need to not starve. I’ll do the shopping as quickly and efficiently as I can and maintain as much did distance as possible from everyone else. That seems a sensible way of looking at it to me?

FrenchBoule · 02/04/2020 12:03

What @Novembernickname said.

Stefoscope · 02/04/2020 12:03

I agree with you OP.

bellinisurge · 02/04/2020 12:04

It's what you need to keep your household going including morale boosters if needed.
I'm a general prepper, we are very much into making sure you have prepped for morale boosters. If you aren't a general prepper , I see no good reason why you should be denied appropriate morale boosters such as chocolate, sweets, birthday or Easter (or similar) stuff.

MonaLisaDoesntSmile · 02/04/2020 12:05

Plain rice, pasta, matches and a bucket to collect rain water to drink. Then go in some cave and stay there. You have no right to buy anything here as it's not essential.

clareOclareO · 02/04/2020 12:06

YANBU. We need to minimise the number of trips to the shops and times we leave home generally. The idea isn't that we only buy an undefined list of essentials - if it was, the government would define the list of things that supermarkets can sell.

It's better to go the the supermarket once per week and buy "non-essentials" along with the essentials than it is to go twice a week but only buy essentials.

It's about limiting contact with others as much as possible. That's all.

MarshaBradyo · 02/04/2020 12:06

We’re running low as have a delivery soon. I’m just making do with stuff as I have no great desire to go to Sainsbury’s. Less to do with essential v non I just don’t welcome extra trips.

inwood · 02/04/2020 12:06

I'm working on the basis of shopping once a week. I will buy 'essentials' but I'll also buy whatever the non essentials the shop stocks that I want.

CaptainBrickbeard · 02/04/2020 12:07

Oh and i would add to my post - if the supermarket is out of something, I do without it/buy a substitute rather than going on to another shop to find it. And when I get halfway home and realise I forgot something, which happens every time I go to a supermarket, I live without it for another week (this week I have had to live with my children’s recriminations because the item I forgot was ketchup. It’s been tough going!)

BogRollBOGOF · 02/04/2020 12:09

Tea and coffee, absolutely not essential as there's no chance that I'll be having any visitors round to consume the revolting stuff. Cows milk not essential, I don't want to accelerate my way through my bog roll Grin I am of course being flippant. The individual contents of a basket/ trolley aren't that important and are quite personal. A balanced diet is important. If morale boosting treats are avaliable, there is minimal additional risk in purchasing them.

It's the trips out that make a significant difference rather than what's in the basket, so just make as few trips out as you can feasibly manage in your circumstances.

teenagetantrums · 02/04/2020 12:10

Wine in this house. After 12hours at work I'm having a glass of wine. I don't care what the armchair shopping basket police say.

Thymelord · 02/04/2020 12:11

Plain rice, pasta, matches and a bucket to collect rain water to drink

RIce and pasta? Frivolous.

ChanklyBore · 02/04/2020 12:15

Nobody said you should only get essential shopping.

The government says you are allowed to go “shopping for basic necessities, for example food and medicine, which must be as infrequent as possible”.

Food is a basic necessity. It doesn’t matter what type of food it is, it is the amount of times you go out for it that matters.

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 02/04/2020 12:15

The basics however if your needing basics and a shop is seeking anything outside of this i’d buy them if I wanted/needed them...

The economy still has to keep moving outside of bread/milk/eggs etc...

isseywith4vampirecats · 02/04/2020 12:16

to me tea bags and milk are essentials I don't drink fizzy drinks or alchohol so if I couldn't get my cups of tea especially now im at home I would be bereft I shop monthly normally except for top ups of bread potatoes butter milk I went main shopping two weeks ago and have enough to make meals for the next week or so as I coulnt get into Iceland last trip out getting very creative with meals, but when I go shopping next yes I will be buying biscuits, cakes chocolate etc as they are my treats and boosters,

MarieQueenofScots · 02/04/2020 12:16

I would say a general shop done once a week is essential
Not essential - nipping out to get one or two items that you can probably do without until your weekly shop

I think this is spot on.

wowfudge · 02/04/2020 12:17

I was going to post pretty much what Chankly has. No one, apart from the unofficial Shopping Police, has said you can only go shopping for "essential food" - it is that food is a basic necessity and therefore you can go shopping for it.

Jellycatfox · 02/04/2020 12:20

I am shopping every two weeks. I freeze milk and make bread or cakes, someone had a go at a mum asking where to buy eggs to bake a birthday cake. Ffs. I am trying my best to only go out once every two weeks, and so far doing well.
So if I want to bake a bloody cake or muffins I am going to.
For me, I don’t care what you eat, as long as you minimise the trips and leave some flour on the shelves.
So if for someone baked beans are essential and they go out shopping once a week/ two weeks, I rather have that than someone buying bread three times a week

CokeEnStock · 02/04/2020 12:21

I've been doing my normal weekly shop, with extras for lunches, and extra wine. I have not been popping out for bits in between times though.

Dahlietta · 02/04/2020 12:21

Nobody said you should only get essential shopping.

Exactly. It's the trip that should be essential, not every single item of shopping. If you need to go to the supermarket because you need food etc., nobody has actually said you can't chuck in your basket a couple of bars of chocolate and a posh cheesecake while you're there.

Jellycatfox · 02/04/2020 12:22

And what @ChanklyBore said is spot on.
Go out for essential tasks, food and medicine.

bananallamas · 02/04/2020 12:22

Yes it's the trips that count and doesn't matter what you buy when out. However some people are trying to take the mick and are saying things like "yes I went to Asda on Monday but now it's Thursday and I've run out of bread so I need to go to the shops again". And because bread is seen as an "essential" they then justify an extra trip to the shops. Or even worse eg "we've got no biscuits left and my DCs need biscuits".

People basically want to have everything and as soon as they run out of something (anything), run out to the shops to buy it. Instead of just waiting until the next time they go and doing without in between.

OmgThereAreNoPlanesAboveMeNow · 02/04/2020 12:23

I would say a general shop done once a week is essential.
Not essential - nipping out to get one or two items that you can probably do without until your weekly shop.

This with bells on.

It would be lovely if people stopped pretending they don't understand this simple thing just so they could start threads hoping for some arguments to happen...