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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask exactly what is essential shopping?

112 replies

UnaCorda · 02/04/2020 11:50

I'm not intending to be goady (although getting a bit tired of the shopping basket police) and clearly we shouldn't be popping to the shops every five minutes for a packet of crisps, but who gets to decide what counts as essential? Even with something like tea and coffee you could argue that it's perfectly possible to drink water instead (personally I don't drink either).

Fresh fruit and veg are important, but no individual fruit or vegetable is in itself essential - and you wouldn't die if you didn't eat any at all for a couple of weeks. You can manage without milk - you don't have to have cereal for breakfast, or drink tea of coffee (see above). You clearly don't need meat or fish - vegetarians manage without them all the time. By the same token, you don't need cheese or yoghurt or eggs - vegans don't eat them. You don't need loo roll - use a bidet or flannel. Etc., etc.

So all we can really conclude is that we need some sort of comestibles as fuel, but no one item in and of itself can be seen as essential.

Or AIBU?

OP posts:
Worriedmum54321 · 02/04/2020 12:25

If you have no car, shopping every couple of days is likely to be essential.

MarshaBradyo · 02/04/2020 12:27

Yep you can buy what you want same way I can put anything I like into my online order (within number restrictions)

Jellycatfox · 02/04/2020 12:30

If you have no car, shopping every couple of days is likely to be essential.
It isn’t
For a healthy person, backpack? Shopping trolley? A suitcase?
It is not essential

caringcarer · 02/04/2020 12:31

I agreecwith Mariequeenofscots, shopping once each week and getting everything you might need at the one shop is sensible. If we run out of something then we go without until next shop. We run out of fruit just after midweek but now will have to manage on tinned peaches until next shop. If children had not eaten it all so quickly it would have lasted. I have pointed this out to them and hopefully they will learn for next time.

OmgThereAreNoPlanesAboveMeNow · 02/04/2020 12:36

@Jellycatfox I second that.

Rockbird · 02/04/2020 12:42

Tea, milk and bread essential in this house. Oh and the Easter eggs I bought while I was there yesterday because the kids deserve a nice Easter while in lockdown.

YouTheCat · 02/04/2020 12:43

If that person is shopping for a family of 4 then a back pack and a trolley is not going to work, especially if you are trying to push a supermarket trolley and a sholley at the same time. I can totally see why some people might need to shop a couple of times a week.

pingbloodyping · 02/04/2020 12:45

It’s stuff that you need.
Do you need to pop into the shop for a can of coke when you’re out walking?- no
Is it okay to stick a can of coke in your trolley when you’re in the supermarket getting groceries, toiletries and other things? Yes .

formerbabe · 02/04/2020 12:49

I'm trying to do all my shopping in one go...have plenty of snacks and stuff for meals but just need milk and bread so will pop to corner shop on my daily walk.

Once I am in the supermarket doing my weekly shop, I'll also be getting hair dye, face wipes, alcohol, chocolates, wax strips, I might buy a book for my DC. None of these things are essential but I'll be in the shop anyway buying my weeks food so as I'm walking down those aisles, I'll pick stuff up.

Ethelfleda · 02/04/2020 12:50

I’ve just read an article on the BBC website on this.
I can’t believe people aren’t getting it.
Surely - the actual risk is going to the supermarket itself, not what you buy when you’re there?
So - only going to the supermarket because you need, for example, dishwasher tablets (but have washing up liquid at home) is a bad idea. It is an inessential trip. So... you wait a while until you need a load of essential items and then go to the supermarket and buy dishwasher tablets because you’re already there.
This seems like a sensible approach to me.

Bunnyfuller · 02/04/2020 12:51

Wine. Or gin. Or both

Judystilldreamsofhorses · 02/04/2020 12:52

I think once you're in the shop, you're in, and it doesn't matter what you buy. I went on Monday, and in amongst the things people would probably tick off as essential, I got nice coffee, wine, and some biscuits, plus a bunch of flowers. I wouldn't have made trips specifically just to buy those things, but I don't think an extra five minutes in the supermarket made any difference.

OhTheRoses · 02/04/2020 12:58

4 adults at home. 3 meals a day.

Going on Tuesdays and Fridays. No, I can't do it in one go because it doesn't fit into one shallow trolley.

I am buying nice things to eat band drink and threw in a bunch of flowers and a cpl of scented candles yesterday. We can't go anywhere, home is our focus and for our wellbeing I am trying to make hkme as nice as possible.

milveycrohn · 02/04/2020 12:58

As the virus started the spread, we bought some porridge, bread flour, a packet of pasta, and some sanitiser.
Assuming the water supply is OK, one actually needs basic food and water. This way, I knew we would not starve for many weeks.
Our shopping tries to include some fruit and veg, but not too much, as we cannot eat it all, and I hate waste. (which fruit and veg is not specific).
Prior to the Lockdown my DH rushed out and bought beer, wine and chocolate (obviously his essentials, though I have found the wine very nice)

sunfloweryy · 02/04/2020 12:59

My local Tesco is now operating a one way system where you go round in like a people train and you can’t overtake anyone else. So you may as well buy whatever you please as you’re going to have to go past every section anyway!

Sceptre86 · 02/04/2020 13:03

We are going once a week, normally dh would go again on a Friday to pick up fish and would end up spending another £20 only to have to do the weekly shop the next day. Now he goes once a week and we make do if the bread runs out, only thing I would send him out again for is milk as we have toddlers otherwise we make do. I send him with a list and yes non essentials like chocolate and hair dye have been on it. The aim for us is to limit the number of trips to the supermarket and get dh used to the making do mentality. My parents never used to do a mid week shop, if the crisps ran out, tough you didn't get any more till my dad went shopping again the following week whereas dh has always been used to the opposite. The basic essentials in our home are eggs, milk, bread and cheese, everything else varies week to week.We are actually saving money this way.

vanillandhoney · 02/04/2020 13:08

For a healthy person, backpack? Shopping trolley? A suitcase? It is not essential

That depends entirely on where you live and how many people you're shopping for.

Fi57 · 02/04/2020 13:11

It’s not what your buying that counts, everyone’s essentials are different. It’s about the amount of time you are going to the shops, that’s why they’re saying try only to go once a week.

Mia1415 · 02/04/2020 13:13

My local Tesco is now operating a one way system where you go round in like a people train and you can’t overtake anyone else. So you may as well buy whatever you please as you’re going to have to go past every section anyway!

I hope my local Tesco doesn't implement this. I'd end up either buying way too much or stuck going round and round when I'd realised I'd forgotten something right at the start (as I do during nearly every shop). In all seriousness though this is quite a good idea.

malificent7 · 02/04/2020 13:15

Gruel , bread and water. And plenty of sack cloth...preferably itchy...to fashion vests out of.

user1493413286 · 02/04/2020 13:16

What’s essential also changes depending on how long this lasts; we can last without most things for a short period of time. I’ve taken it as not popping to the shop every day or trying to only go once a week.

lboogy · 02/04/2020 13:19

We try to shop once a week but we're not hoarders so we buy what we think we need for the week. Now I don't have the luxury of going to the shops whenever I feel like it I'm 'learning' how much we need to get through the week.

However I'm not going to be policed into not shopping when I want something. A moral boost even if it's from shopping is an important part of wellbeing. And yes you can achieve a moral boost from other activities but that's what I choose to do

middleager · 02/04/2020 13:22

My aunt, 76, pops out every day to a couple of shops for:

Newspaper
Pint
Loaf
Dishwasher tablets (she has w up liquid).

She has a car, yet finds an excuse to nip out for 1 or 2 items per shop.

It pisses me off. I haven't been shopping for 2 weeks. I adapt and improvise and will do a 2 week shop in 2 weeks now as we are SI for the second two weeks in a row Sad

Acidburn · 02/04/2020 13:25

So is it perfectly fine to go to Sainsbury's just to buy 2 boxes of beer? I saw a lady at the till with just that.

Mummyoflittledragon · 02/04/2020 13:30

When I was younger, I shopped for a week for dh and me (including drinks) and loaded it all in a 60l rucksack plus a second bag and lugged it home and up a hill, it was only a shallow incline. The walk took about about half an hour. It was heavy. I was in my 20’s and fit. I only did it the once and think it’s unrealistic to expect people to do this every week especially if they have children in tow or are older. I can well see why many people wouldn’t manage this.