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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask exactly what is essential shopping?

112 replies

UnaCorda · 02/04/2020 11:50

I'm not intending to be goady (although getting a bit tired of the shopping basket police) and clearly we shouldn't be popping to the shops every five minutes for a packet of crisps, but who gets to decide what counts as essential? Even with something like tea and coffee you could argue that it's perfectly possible to drink water instead (personally I don't drink either).

Fresh fruit and veg are important, but no individual fruit or vegetable is in itself essential - and you wouldn't die if you didn't eat any at all for a couple of weeks. You can manage without milk - you don't have to have cereal for breakfast, or drink tea of coffee (see above). You clearly don't need meat or fish - vegetarians manage without them all the time. By the same token, you don't need cheese or yoghurt or eggs - vegans don't eat them. You don't need loo roll - use a bidet or flannel. Etc., etc.

So all we can really conclude is that we need some sort of comestibles as fuel, but no one item in and of itself can be seen as essential.

Or AIBU?

OP posts:
NewYearNewJob123 · 02/04/2020 15:02

YOU CAN BUY WHATEVER YOU WANT.

OmgThereAreNoPlanesAboveMeNow · 02/04/2020 15:04

😂 i gave up and now i am just genuinely laughing at stupidity of some people😂

scarbados · 02/04/2020 15:05

Shop workers are posting huge rants all over Facebook groups about people buying a bunch of flowers with their weekly food shop

If we're not supposed to be buying them, why are the supermarkets stocking them and having new deliveries of them? I shop once a week. If Tesco have something I want and I can carry it, I buy it.

combatbarbie · 02/04/2020 15:08

Meringues, double cream, strawberries..... Oh and clotted cream for the scones we're making.

itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted · 02/04/2020 15:10

Well tonight I need to get bread, milk and ingredients for another week of meals oh and I'll also be getting some bedding plants and compost bags as if they didn't think it was essential they wouldn't be selling it

UnaCorda · 02/04/2020 15:10

Salad needs to be bought at least every other day

Really??

OP posts:
DysonFury · 02/04/2020 15:11

Essential shopping for us; wine, chocolate, milk, dog food.

SpillTheTea · 02/04/2020 15:11

Basically, don't go the shops just cause you fancy a box of chocolates.

veeboo · 02/04/2020 15:13

No-one has said you can only buy essentials! They have said go to the shops infrequently. We could all worry less about what's in other people's shopping baskets!

P1nkHeartLovesCake · 02/04/2020 15:17

God the whole that’s not essential to buy bullishit on here is starting to piss me off now. I’ve seen it on so many threads people saying for example to the Op but your cider wasn’t essential 🙄🙄

The vast majority Of us have common sense so we aren’t popping out for just wine or chocolate, but if we wish to buy flowers/wine/ luxury food items when out buying our weekly shop then we fucking can! We are still only going to one shop...

We could all live on plain rice and water but I don’t want too. Life is dire enough right now so I’m going to eat nice food and drink wine

MigginsMrs · 02/04/2020 15:20

*It doesn't matter one jot what people think are essential foods or not.

The legislation says " basic necessities, including food" not basic food or essential food only.*

Exactly. I’m now seeing on here people telling others how often they should be going shopping too. We went last Friday and again today. I’ve got enough milk etc but if it went off (as can happen as my H keeps buying ALDI milk) or I dropped and spilled it tomorrow I’d go and buy more. I’m not having my coffee black for a week and having dry cereal on the say so of the shopping police. PM said “as infrequently as possible” and N Sturgeon said “no more than once a day”.

bluewafflewithmayo · 02/04/2020 15:22

We should all be eating porridge (made with water) and drinking water (tap) ONLY.

Anything else and you are a MURDERER.

Jaxhog · 02/04/2020 15:22

Go infrequently and don't spend too long dithering if it's busy. It's common sense really. Remember the aim - to have as few physical interactions as possible.

steppemum · 02/04/2020 15:27

I keep coming on these threads to say

The point is to leave the house as infrequently as possible

so if you go out, and do a shop, I really don't care what is in your basket, If gin and fags are essential to you, fine. But the point is you should be trying really hard to go out as infrequently as possible, we should all have changed our habits, so we plan ahead or go without as far as we can in order to not pop to the shops until we need to.

For some families that will be more often, for some people they may be able to go 2 full weeks until they shop. But the principle is, stay at home. Go out as few times as you need to. Think before you shop.

YouTheCat · 02/04/2020 15:35

I was last in a shop on 23rd March. Dd went to the Coop on Tuesday.

Running out of bread, bananas and yoghurts (probably a few other things too - fruit and veg) so will have to do a medium sized shop tomorrow or Saturday. Might chuck some chocolate in there as well.

lazylinguist · 02/04/2020 15:36

Confused Food and drink are essential. It doesn't matter what foods and drinks you want to buy. Toiletries, hygiene and cleaning products are essential.

Shop workers are posting huge rants all over Facebook groups about people buying a bunch of flowers with their weekly food shop.

Well they are idiots then. If you are in the shop for your essential weekly shopping, why in the name of all that's holy wouldn't you be allowed to buy whatever the shop is actually selling?! If it's not ok to buy it, why on earth would they be selling it? Chumps.

steppemum · 02/04/2020 15:46

OK, this is a slight aside to the essentials debate, but I have been thinking about weekly shopping and salad etc, after seeing so many posts about it.

I meal plan, I also work, and cannot be bothered to go to the shops more than once a week. My mum was the same when I was growing up. For years we lived in a village, so if you ran out of milk it was a 30 minute round trip.
So, when you are going once a week and you meal plan you do this:
stir fry - including beansprouts, which have a shelf life of 1-2 days, you put that on your meal plan for the day you go shopping or the day after
fresh fish - again short shelf life, eat that on day 2 or 3.
Salad, have that in the first half of the week, as it goes off.
Bread, we have one loaf out and put 2 in the freezer.
Milk, nowadays supermarket milk lasts 7 days, so we buy a weeks worth.

I find it amazing that now people just keep going in to the shops, that this type of meal planning is lost/unheard of.

Smilethoyourheartisbreaking · 02/04/2020 15:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bumblingbovine49 · 02/04/2020 15:51

I love how everyone must only shop once a week but must also have nothing in spare, just in case they are seen as 'horders' or 'panic buyers' or 'selfish'

so to be clear:

A - Shop once a week at the absolute most, ideally once every fortnight or even monthly if possible

B - Only buy one basketful each time though (regardless of family size) as any more is 'non essential' and means you are hoarding

C - Do not under any circumstances drive to pick up a click and collect because a) you probably don't deserve the slot unless you are at death's door and b) you might need petrol or have an accident and selfishly need to use the NHS

D) In order to stick to the above restrictions, your allowed food is water,
bread (not every day),
milk (not every day),
Pasta/Rice (if you are lucky enough to find it and only buy a small packet of each) or Potatoes
Vegetables and Salad
Fruit
Meat/Fish (if you are not vegetarian)
Beans/legumes (if you are vegetarian/vegan)
Cheese & other dairy

That is it obviously. Nothing else is essential Hmm

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 02/04/2020 16:14

We go once a week at most (I try to go less). I have young children and i am not sure if long life (heat treated) milk has the same nutritional value in terms of vitamins, and they need fresh fruit & veg. I make our bread so this helps but am struggling to get flour now which will limit us a bit. Atm I am buying some bread then baking some, so I manage longer between shopping trips.

Ahundredpercentthatbitch · 02/04/2020 16:21

So many people on MN are so utterly dim on this question.

'Essential shopping' refers to the physical trip to the shops, not the items you buy once you're in the shop.

So, don't pop out to the newsagent for a bar of chocolate three times a day.

But absolutely buy chocolate (and wine, and scented candles and anything else that's for sale) when you're doing your essential shop at the supermarket once a week (or whenever you reasonably HAVE to go).

It cracks me up that there are some on here who think that once you're in the supermarket you should close your eyes as you walk down all the aisles full of chocolate, wine, sweets and other treats and only fill your trolley with flour, eggs, milk, and gruel.

LesFleursDuMal · 02/04/2020 16:22

God some people are dumb (the shopping police, that is). Or am I? The way I see it, buy and eat whatever you want (be it ultra-healthy or only junk food), just try to go shopping as rarely as REASONABLY possible? As in, it's no better to 'pop to the shops' and buy a single bag of carrots than a bar of chocolate? Or am I misunderstanding something.

It's very subjective otherwise. For me essentials are: meat, veggies (+potatoes), fruits&berries, eggs, pulses, beans, various grains (buckwheat, barley, etc). Also chocolate, biscuits - sugary stuff. Coffee. Whisky. In a nutshell.

Absolute non-essentials (never buy it or very rarely): milk (HATE it), all other dairy (don't like it), bread (don't like it), pasta (rarely), flour (can't bake to save my life), tea, gin, wine, beer (any alcohol except for whiskey).

I appreciate my essentials might be different from other people's and it's fine. Shops sell both and both can be bought. So what's the problem?

caperplips · 02/04/2020 16:59

Dh went to Aldi today and we're stocked up for the next 2 weeks again now and we have LOTS of non essential goodies in our house now, including wine, chocolate, beer, crisps as well as all the usual suspects - fruit inc strawberries for dd, fillet steak, duck, chicken etc.

We're buying more because all of us are here all of the time and we love to eat nice food. It is now our only indulgence so why not!

We may have to top up locally at the garage shop for milk / bread in about 5 days time but we'll get a lot longer than that out of the main shop which cost £180.

The only things he could not get today were yeast, fizzy water and hand wash but we have some of each of them so we're ok for the moment.

formerbabe · 02/04/2020 17:32

It cracks me up that there are some on here who think that once you're in the supermarket you should close your eyes as you walk down all the aisles full of chocolate, wine, sweets and other treats and only fill your trolley with flour, eggs, milk, and gruel

Completely agree. I'm doing a once a week shop. The supermarket sells make up...I might buy some...so what?!

zukiecat · 02/04/2020 19:50

We can only shop once a fortnight, just me and adult DD here. For us, essential means the things we prefer to eat (as much as is possible). I don't like or eat dairy so milk is not a thing I will ever need for myself.

DD, however has it in her tea, and her cereal in the morning. Neither of us are bothered about bread, so that's not essential to us.

I can go through a box of grapes a day though. So that's essential for me, DD likes other things that are essential for her,