To feel nothings left for average families

[Aubrystrawberry]

I fully support the vunerable and elderly getting special times to shop and think it's great that some supermarkets have kept slots for them. But.... Is anyone else feeling like it's a catch 22 for families? Especially ones with kids.

I have managed to get one slot in April through Asda. It was pure luck! I have children aged 2 and 4. My partner's still working all week and he's worried about catching this virus like the rest of us. We are trying to stay home because I'm anemic and don't know how dangerous it would be as I've been quite poorly. It's not recognised as a huge problem but I've read that we don't have enough red blood cells. (I've made another post on this)

Anyway I've just been on Asda to try add a couple of things on and see how much is now out of stock. It says I'm not allowed to amend until 2 days before it's delivered now. Fair enough. But for god's sake.

I've been on Iceland this morning and they put up a bright red warning that if I'm not elderly or vunerable there are no slots.

Morrisons said they have no slots at all anywhere.

Sainsbury's the same.

Tesco's the same.

I went on Amazon to try do a pantry shop. Nothing on there.

Luckily I get milk delivered. But it's becoming a nightmare trying to work out how i will get food in a couple of weeks time.

What do they expect from people? We are slagged off if we dare take a child or two in shops. We are judged for even being in town with kids. Not everyone but quite a few are vocal about it on our local page on Facebook. People are taking pictures of people trying to get them in trouble for being irresponsible. I'm trying to be responsible and keep the kids indoors and us out of germy shops with mucky trolley handles. But I'm being told on all supermarket websites we should go to the store If we can.

I am not sure how many more weeks this is going on for, but like many others we don't want to risk getting this virus so we want to stay home.

I guess there's nothing we can do. But I think the elderly and vunerable have had a fantastic amount of help and support as they have special times to shop, slots online, volunteers shopping for them. It just feels like families are being treated like vultures for wanting to feed their kids.

Also I didn't panic shop and now I wish I did!

You’re very angry formerbabe, maybe start your own thread about the help you feel people who chose to have children deserve and stop trying to derail OP’s which is about something completely different.

It is interesting the number of people who do shop together as a couple. Whilst queuing at my local supermarket I've seen lots of couples gently told that it's better if one of them waits outside because there are restrictions on numbers allowed in at the same time and some fella just traipsing round after his missus not actually doing any shopping is just halving the number of people who can actually shop.

The car park has always got maybe a dozen people all stood there waiting for their partners. I wonder if it's man who drives and woman who shops and they just can't get their heads round changing the routine. It's generally older couples I see doing this.

You have an OH to go shopping!

I'm a LP of two, no car, no friends. No slots for me.

Your partner could go do a shop after work or on one of his days off. Online shops are being reserved for people who simply don’t have that option and can’t leave the house because the virus would probably kill them.

Because whether it's said out loud or not, they underlying misogynistic view is that if you're a big enough slag to dare to have sex and consequently have children, that's your problem.

What? That's completely nonsensical. Parents who are not shielded are perfectly capable of getting off their arses and going to a shop and to feed the children they chose to have. Those in the shielded group are not capable of that, it's nothing to do with misogyny.
The only exception to this, which applies right now and will resolve when normal life resumes, is lone parents who have no option but to take children with them and are being refused entry to a small minority of stores. However this group is small as it only applies to those lone parents with children who can't be left for a short time.

Trying to force things like the OPs non-issue into misogyny is only going to damage the cause and strengthen the narrative that feminism and feminists shouldn't be taken seriously.

My husband is on the shielding list, we have a 3 year old and a baby and we can’t get a slot.

There are quite a few vulnerable people going shopping for themselves despite having plenty of offers of help.

My mother in law is one.

and to feed the children they chose to have

And there you have it

*Selfsettling
*
Exactly. It's bad enough without everyone seeming to believe that it's all sorted for us.

Like no one's listening.

I repeat.
The extremely vulnerable are not getting these slots.

The supermarkets have not got the information from the government and it's not happening.

I’m pregnant with hyperemesis and a toddler. I’m back at work on the frontline next week. DH is doing shops, pharmacy runs etc and working. It is what it is.

Too many people have bought into the idea that if you are elderly, vulnerable or shielding that you are being well looked after. We aren't. It's false.

My parents are elderly. My dad has heart disease and cancer, mum has breathing difficulties - they can't get any help, no delivery slots, can't get medication delivered.

I'm shielding and my husband has asthma and hypertension so would be in vulnerable group but is a key worker so still working.

My sister is well but her daughter has severe asthma. Sister and bil are key workers, bil frontline. They are shopping for my parents.

My dh is shopping for us plus a neighbour over the road who has lung cancer and was in the middle of chemo when Covid struck. She is shielding but can't get delivery slots.

Hospital that I'm under sent a text yesterday saying that it's acknowledged that many people who should be in shielded category haven't been identified and that if it applies to us we are to email hospital next week so that they can keep an eye on people while this is ongoing. Problem is, you need to be on "official" shielded list to be on supermarket data base or to ask for help f on.the various hubs that have been set up, so it seems that this is quite disorganised and many people are falling through the net.

Obviously there are many people who are vulnerable, including those with disabilities who ordinarily rely on supermarket deliveries because they aren't able to get to the shops - no system.set up for them.

So anyone who thinks that the elderly and vulnerable are all sorted is very wrong.

So many, including the op, just seem desperate to be in some category or another. Like people who park in blue badge spaces when they have no disability I'd ask op et Al - would you care to accept our illnesses and disabilities in return for a potential shopping delivery slot? Thought not.

How do people suggest we are 'flexible' when we have been told not to go out at all?

The only possible flexibility in that situation is for us to eat
A each other
B the dog
C the furniture

There are still big issues really.

1. in my local supermarket, the queues were full of elderly people standing too close to each other having a chat. They are either not making use of volunteer services or can’t. I’m convinced stricter lockdown will be coming soon as people can’t seem to grasp the 2m rule.

2. people that don’t fall into the vulnerable are going to struggle when they have to isolate for 14 days. If it is a child that has had a fever etc, it is a long time for grown-ups to be in if they can’t get food delivered and I suspect lots of households will be breaking the 14 day isolation period. We only just managed as we had a hello fresh delivery and a pre-booked online slot. We needed to ask friends to pick us up milk for the baby as we ran out but fortunately had some old formula she could have. I wish we had stockpiled more as we had some very interesting meals by the end. People won’t stay at home if they can’t feed their children or themselves.

So, I don’t think a family with two parents is up there as a priority when there are bigger issues feeding infectious and or vulnerable people.

Asda and Tesco both release their slots at midnight. I managed to get a slot for next Friday and then 12 days after that by going online for midnight x

OP I have the virus presently, feel like I have belt around my chest. Day 6 for me.

I also have Asthma, fibromyalgia, autoimmune thyroid disease and chronic fatigue.

Since this crisis started I have not been able to get a delivery slot from any supermarket and am not in the shielded group. Many vulnerable people are not getting slots!

Once my isolation period is up I shall be off to the shops. It will be a slow affair.

I think deliveries should only be for those who are at high risk, your family isn't.
Social distancing is fine in the supermarkets and you can be in and out in no time if you are prepared.
You have a partner who can go if you are unable.

Hear are you absolutely sure that in order to get help from a local community group you need to be on an official ‘vulnerable’ list?

I’ve made this point so many times on Mumsnet that I am getting a bit sick of my own words , but where I live, which is nowhere special or affluent, there are so many volunteers queuing up to do anything to help ... They will shop for the elderly, self isolated, single parents, in fact anyone who needs help, no one asks if you are ‘vulnerable’, these volunteers just want to help. I am involved with a separate volunteering project, which is allowed to continue as we are helping ‘the vulnerable’ (again, we will offer help to anyone who needs it at the moment) and I too have had far more offers of help than I can use.

Please try to find out what is in your local area.

Vulnerable here, cannot get a delivery slot for the life of me.
We are getting food from places like farm shops and Costco, also out of town Tesco was visited a few weeks ago. It's a metro but had really good stock.

It's hard going, but were alive and have food to feed ourselves.
Cant complain myself to be honest.

You can amend your Asda order. I just amended an order I have placed for Monday (more than 2 days away). The orange banner is just advice asking people to only amend once and within 2 days of the order. They've not restricted it down, they are just asking people to reduce their app useage.

my area has several independent shops selling fresh, homemade produce, including a butcher, baker, fishmonger, cheesemonger, vintner, Greek and Turkish delis and a Polish supermarket all within walking distance

All easily affordable when you've been laid off work or are on UC of course. I got a weekly veg box for £7.50 the other day, fresh milk and eggs are available daily and a meat box for £15 - organic meat from 2 miles down the road.

We have loads of fruit and veg suppliers and butchers round here who deliver most of what you would need. I had a couple of lovely boxes of fruit, veg, eggs, bread, milk and salad bits delivered today which I am sharing with my elderly dad.

Go on your local Facebook page- there were loads of recommendations on my local one.

I am sorry but gosh some people are both selfish and spoilt, you are lucky there are deliveries, here in Spain where I live all deliveries except for elderly have been cancelled and both my husband and I have health conditions making us vulnerable as we have compromised immune systems but like everyone else to go out shop and get what's available and make do.My neighbour is a single mum so we grab her some things too and we all manage. We are so used to an overabundance of food and choice that we are spoilt. You have a partner and a delivery slot ....

"We are judged for even being in town with kids. Not everyone but quite a few are vocal about it on our local page on Facebook."

Get off Facebook op and stop feeling hard done by. Get your household organised and let that slot go to someone who actually needs it.
Just now is not the time to be a snowflake.

Bloody hell OP - my heart is breaking for you....oh hang on- not it's not

Phone your local butcher and greengrocer. We've had lovely boxes delivered to us this week. Bread, milk, eggs, cheese, ham, fruit, veg, meat, potatoes in a huge sack, butter.

The quality is excellent and I will definitely continue using these suppliers after the lock down.