To feel nothings left for average families

[Aubrystrawberry]

I fully support the vunerable and elderly getting special times to shop and think it's great that some supermarkets have kept slots for them. But.... Is anyone else feeling like it's a catch 22 for families? Especially ones with kids.

I have managed to get one slot in April through Asda. It was pure luck! I have children aged 2 and 4. My partner's still working all week and he's worried about catching this virus like the rest of us. We are trying to stay home because I'm anemic and don't know how dangerous it would be as I've been quite poorly. It's not recognised as a huge problem but I've read that we don't have enough red blood cells. (I've made another post on this)

Anyway I've just been on Asda to try add a couple of things on and see how much is now out of stock. It says I'm not allowed to amend until 2 days before it's delivered now. Fair enough. But for god's sake.

I've been on Iceland this morning and they put up a bright red warning that if I'm not elderly or vunerable there are no slots.

Morrisons said they have no slots at all anywhere.

Sainsbury's the same.

Tesco's the same.

I went on Amazon to try do a pantry shop. Nothing on there.

Luckily I get milk delivered. But it's becoming a nightmare trying to work out how i will get food in a couple of weeks time.

What do they expect from people? We are slagged off if we dare take a child or two in shops. We are judged for even being in town with kids. Not everyone but quite a few are vocal about it on our local page on Facebook. People are taking pictures of people trying to get them in trouble for being irresponsible. I'm trying to be responsible and keep the kids indoors and us out of germy shops with mucky trolley handles. But I'm being told on all supermarket websites we should go to the store If we can.

I am not sure how many more weeks this is going on for, but like many others we don't want to risk getting this virus so we want to stay home.

I guess there's nothing we can do. But I think the elderly and vunerable have had a fantastic amount of help and support as they have special times to shop, slots online, volunteers shopping for them. It just feels like families are being treated like vultures for wanting to feed their kids.

Also I didn't panic shop and now I wish I did!

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras there isnt. The pernicious anaemia society say theres no evidence to support that people from even pernicious anaemia are more at risk of catching it or becoming extremely Ill from it.

Granted there isnt alot of research with it being so knew. However, there ar more concerned about the fact that people arenr getting their treatment.

Op doesnt have pernicious anaemia. She has mild anaemia (discussed on another thread) and does have what she has been prescribed.

It appears to be a case of her reading something in a support group (I would bet money Facebook or similar and the person saying this isnt a medical professional) and appears to have panicked a bit.

It's a stressful time and it can feel overwhelming! If your partner is out of the house anyway, can he get shopping as and when he can?

I haven't been to a supermarket since lockdown began because of the queues. I'm a single mum to an autistic 5 year old - there's no way he would be able to queue like that. I also can't get any delivery slots, but I have been in two shops. I bought milk and a few other groceries from a petrol station shop and bread from a bakery. I was the only customer both times.

When stocks run low, I'm going to aim for small shops. I did a quick drive around my local area the other day to see what was open and where looked busy/not busy. That might be an option for you too.

Not aware that anaemia puts you particularly at risk, but having been severely anaemic a few times in the past, I get that shopping for a family with young children in tow could be really tiring at the best of times. But why can't your partner do the shopping? On the way home from work, after work, days off.

Cohle not smug at all, I’m sorry many with the money chose not to prepare and now here we are, moaning about Ocado slots. 😘

Basically, no one gives a shit about families... especially when compared to elderly people. It's why no one gave a shit about child benefit changes but were up in arms over the TV licence.

You know why? Because whether it's said out loud or not, they underlying misogynistic view is that if you're a big enough slag to dare to have sex and consequently have children, that's your problem.

Oh and apologies for using the word slag...please understand it's not my view or opinion but what I think the view of society is.

I don't get why your partner can't just pick up shopping? I'm a key worker working full time and I am also going to the supermarket when we need stuff. My partner is currently at home with the kids. I feel far more for families with only one parent who potentially have to take their kids out with them.

My DH has been leaving for work at 7am and not getting home until 7.30pm most days for the past 2 weeks so I know its harder but it's far from impossible. I've either popped out once he's got back if necessary or used our local farm shop collection service. I email them my order, they call for payment and then I go collect it (pop boot open and they load it in to keep distance). Milkman delivers twice a week and can do bread and eggs. Our local butcher that we've been using for years now delivers. Ordered washing powder/ dishwasher stuff etc on amazon in bulk. The only reason I really need the supermarket is for all the crap the kids want (crisps, sweets etc).

Our local co-op has gone on deliveroo. There is a decent range available including fresh food (and alcohol!)

formerbabe that’s quite a dim view of society you have there. Not sure what tv licenses has to do with this right now. Sorry if you feel the general consensus is that if you have kids you should be able to provide for them too 😟

formerbabe why on earth is it misogynistic to suggest that the OPs partner should take the responsibility of doing the shopping?

Single parents, yes I get what you're saying. But why would couples including at least one healthy adult need special consideration unless we subscribe to sexist ideas about how men shouldn't be bothered by everyday chores?

@peterlon1 - thanks for the covent garden link, looks brilliant

But it's not just bloody families! It's many different demographics. I mean, really.

Do you have any butchers and greengrocers who are delivering? The fresh food suppliers who usually do restaurants and cafes are all doing fresh boxes for delivery around here.

I’m grateful that I’m not entitled to a spot because that means I’m not ill, old or have to protect ill or elderly family. I would much rather have the trek to the shop than be so worried that I or a member of my family may die. Many people are anaemic, it does not mean you are immunocompromised. Either you or your OH can go shopping after he’s finished work or on the weekend, there is no need to drag your children with you. Give up your slot, you are one of the luckier ones in society.

Being in the extremely vulnerable group hasn't got me any delivery priority.

Despite the gov saying it's all sorted, it bloody isn't.

I have filled in the form online and even got a letter today for gov telling me there would be support forthcoming.

I suspect by the time it happens-if it happens-we will be very short of food,

I would rather they didn't promise support if none is forthcoming.

It's just a wind up.

formerbabe why on earth is it misogynistic to suggest that the OPs partner should take the responsibility of doing the shopping?

I'm not talking of that specific aspect or even the ops situation.

However in this country, there is very little sympathy and support for people with children...and yes, that goes back to misogyny. Women especially are viewed this way. Because they dared to have sex, they should put up with any hardships that bringing up children brings with it.

I live in a very small, fairly run down town. The queues outside the ‘big’ supermarket are ridiculous but people are just not prepared to change their shopping habits, we have two smaller supermarkets, two convenience stores, a couple of ‘corner’ shops and a number of home delivery options PLUS a volunteer service with more volunteers than people who need help .

I managed to get everything I wanted in one of the smaller supermarkets (a Sainsburys Local - perfectly good),
including a few ‘luxuries’, items for my neighbour and for the Food Bank without having to queue at all or come into close contact with anyone. Meanwhile people queue for a couple of hours outside one of the ‘big’ supermarkets .

People need to just a bit of imagination and appreciate that these are unprecedented times.

I know the frustration. I'm a lone parent and really dont want to take DC into shop. But I think they are prioritising the right people.

Try local mini marts rather than big supermarkets. My local fruit shop delivers. Milkman does extra bits like bread and veg box. It's a faff but I'm sure you can manage x

We are shielding as a family of 6 as it's not practical to avoid your own dcs fro 12 weeks, so a food parcel for one will not really help.

I'm not talking of that specific aspect or even the ops situation

This thread is about the op, though. So why bring in something that's not relevant?

You may have a point, especially when it comes to single parents, who are more likely to be female. But single parents are relevant to the OP or her situation

I feel you op. It’s great they are helping the vulnerable and the elderly buy what about the rest of us. I posted something similar the other day and I was slammed for having a delivery booked when I’m not vulnerable.

I love in a rural area. No large shops for at least 10 miles. The village shop has closed temporarily. I have a son with autism and my partner works long hours. I was slammed for wanting to get my shopping delivered. I get it delivered week at the same time and pay for a delivery saver to do so.

Difficult position for everyone really .The SM are struggling too ATM .Went to SB at 11.00 am queue of about 30 people! Went to fuel station as no time (on break from WFH!) No eggs /flour .Did Big shop on W/E but still needed some emergency items .SM have queues 6 feet apart and some wipes /wash for you and your trolley .There are many people who may not be classed as vulnerable but still need to shop! I try to go early or later as not so busy then .Deliveries are under huge pressure ATM and can only serve the most frail . Local shops might be easier for you ?

elderly and vulnerable

means only those who are vulnerable to Coronavirus, about 1.5 million. However, there are another 7.5 million over 70, who do not qualify, so those with Parkinson’s, blind etc., can't get slots either. We’re writing to our MP as to level of deceit.

I’m afraid that everyone has to adapt and be less rigid at the moment. Everyone has to make sacrifices of some sort and that means going shopping by yourself while your partner looks after your children (or the other way around) it isn’t really the ending the world!

I’m 33 weeks pregnant with a two year old. My husband has to go and do the shopping alone as that’s the safest for us right now. We all have to adapt.