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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To feel nothings left for average families

365 replies

Aubrystrawberry · 02/04/2020 10:00

I fully support the vunerable and elderly getting special times to shop and think it's great that some supermarkets have kept slots for them. But.... Is anyone else feeling like it's a catch 22 for families? Especially ones with kids.

I have managed to get one slot in April through Asda. It was pure luck! I have children aged 2 and 4. My partner's still working all week and he's worried about catching this virus like the rest of us. We are trying to stay home because I'm anemic and don't know how dangerous it would be as I've been quite poorly. It's not recognised as a huge problem but I've read that we don't have enough red blood cells. (I've made another post on this)

Anyway I've just been on Asda to try add a couple of things on and see how much is now out of stock. It says I'm not allowed to amend until 2 days before it's delivered now. Fair enough. But for god's sake.

I've been on Iceland this morning and they put up a bright red warning that if I'm not elderly or vunerable there are no slots.

Morrisons said they have no slots at all anywhere.

Sainsbury's the same.

Tesco's the same.

I went on Amazon to try do a pantry shop. Nothing on there.

Luckily I get milk delivered. But it's becoming a nightmare trying to work out how i will get food in a couple of weeks time.

What do they expect from people? We are slagged off if we dare take a child or two in shops. We are judged for even being in town with kids. Not everyone but quite a few are vocal about it on our local page on Facebook. People are taking pictures of people trying to get them in trouble for being irresponsible. I'm trying to be responsible and keep the kids indoors and us out of germy shops with mucky trolley handles. But I'm being told on all supermarket websites we should go to the store If we can.

I am not sure how many more weeks this is going on for, but like many others we don't want to risk getting this virus so we want to stay home.

I guess there's nothing we can do. But I think the elderly and vunerable have had a fantastic amount of help and support as they have special times to shop, slots online, volunteers shopping for them. It just feels like families are being treated like vultures for wanting to feed their kids.

Also I didn't panic shop and now I wish I did!

OP posts:

EmeraldShamrock · 02/04/2020 10:24

Because we are trying to make sure I don't pick the virus up as I was quite poorly in Feb. I've only just started to pick back up but I am getting poorly again You and the rest of the world everyone has priorities plus it can take them a healthy person so everyone is at risk of it.

Shitsgettingcrazy · 02/04/2020 10:25

If you oh is going to work, he has chance of bringing it back. He needs to maintain good hygiene routine and just go shopping.

To be fair you other thread said you have only just found out the anaemia may possibly, might make you vulnerable if you get it.

I think it's just unfair to say theres nothing for average families. You do have options.

Maybe the situation is just getting on top of you in general.

corythatwas · 02/04/2020 10:26

OP, I do understand that your OH is worried about taking the virus back to you if he goes shopping. But I still don't get the "we will have to go". You don't and shouldn't. Your children definitely shouldn't. Children simply don't enter into this at all- all that matters is that your OH takes responsibility for getting food in and disinfects himself and the shopping meticulously.

inwood · 02/04/2020 10:27

But op there is no need for you to have your children in the shop. Your husband can go.

opticaldelusion · 02/04/2020 10:27

But your situation is not unlike many, many millions of people's. We know it's not great the older you are and we've also identified groups of people who are advised to shield. The rest of us has to make do. And that group will include millions of people whose health is not great. You're a two adult family. You're already in a better position than everyone who is alone with small children.

Pandoraslastchance · 02/04/2020 10:27

Even if you are in the shielding group it doesnt mean you get a delivery slot. I'm in the shielding group.

Ive been trying asda, morrisons, tescos, sainsburys and iceland at midnight every day for the last week but we cannot get a slot.

HerMajBishop · 02/04/2020 10:30

I feel for single parents who are struggling to get out to the shops without their children. You’ve got a husband, though. He can do the shopping.

PatchworkElmer · 02/04/2020 10:30

It’s worth looking at what local businesses are offering- we had a lovely veg box from the greengrocers yesterday, with bread and eggs too.

opticaldelusion · 02/04/2020 10:30

There is absolutely no need for your children to be in the supermarket. You've got a husband who can go on his own. Millions haven't got anyone else. I think you need to shake yourself out of your self-pity to be honest.

corythatwas · 02/04/2020 10:31

I like you, OP, am in the vulnerable but not shielding category. Haven't been near a shop for weeks because like you I am lucky to have a partner. If one of us falls ill, we may have to contact local neighbourhood support net as the whole family will have to be isolated. But at the moment, I just don't see a problem.

Shitsgettingcrazy · 02/04/2020 10:33

But yes we will have to go

No one of you should go. No need for you all to go.

Maybe take a break op. Have a cuppa.

This might it feel such a big deal. All of us are guilty about letting it all get on top us. Or at least we all will have been by the time it's over.

dreamingbohemian · 02/04/2020 10:33

But you don't need to take your children.

If your husband is out anyway, it's best if he just goes.

I understand that all the restrictions can give a feeling of panic around food, but try to take the emotion out of it and just look at it as a practical problem to solve. Your husband can do the shopping, sorted.

DisneyPlus · 02/04/2020 10:34

YABU. You have a delivery slot and you have 2 adults in the house. There’s no reason why one of you can’t go, if you need to.

Rosehip10 · 02/04/2020 10:35

TooMuchBloodyChoice · 02/04/2020 10:36

Everyone wants to stay at home at the moment. Difference is that the high risk people have been advised to stay at home, and cannot leave at all. Unfortunately/fortunately you don't fall into that category and so the supermarkets wouldn't and shouldn't prioritise you. There are enough medically vulnerable (defined by the gov) people/elderly fighting over slots already.

At least your husband can shop for you and as long as he takes sensible precautions you will be ok.

mumwon · 02/04/2020 10:36

it doesn't matter that you are pensioners & have multiple health issues & no way would I go to a supermarket & expose myself to queue because if I get it I will pass it on to dh who has multiple vulnerabilities we still cant get deliveries so we are down to click & collect - you need to do an order & get your healthy dh to pick up - & stop making assumptions about others getting more help than you -they don't

middleager · 02/04/2020 10:36

The problem is that he goes out to work. If you were SI then I'd understand, but unless he works in a bubble somewhere he could easily bring it back, supermarket or no supermarket.

sandragreen · 02/04/2020 10:36

You do not have to go to the shops at all OP. Neither do your DC.

Your DP needs to step up here. Are you saying he is incapable of going to the shops on his own?

SonjaMorgan · 02/04/2020 10:38

OP are you taking iron tablets? I have been anemic for most of my adult life, it is a manageable issue and it has never affected my immune system.

You have options. Situations like this show what type of person you are. Either sit and moan at how unfair life is or sort it out.

agonyauntie2020 · 02/04/2020 10:38

OP read the responses.

gamerchick · 02/04/2020 10:39

Tesco round here are sanitising every trolley between customers OP and everyone has to queue so there's only a few in at one time. Stay at home with the kids and send your husband. It isn't that hard.

It's getting hard to have sympathy with these threads. There are some people who don't have a partner to go shopping and have no choice to take the kids. People need to get a bit of perspective and stop whinging about their entitlement.

mindproject · 02/04/2020 10:40

Put a mask and gloves on and go to the supermarket. Problem solved.

doodleygirl · 02/04/2020 10:41

OP I dont really understand your post. You have a partner who can quite easily go to the supermarket which means you will have the food you need.

YABU

Lolly34h · 02/04/2020 10:41

I'm a single parent and have a 2 year old dd plus 2 teenagers to feed. I'm isolating as my little one has symptoms of cv. I managed to get one delivery slot but feel incredibly guilty. However I have elderly parents who are in isolation for 3 months so can't rely on anyone to help us.

corythatwas · 02/04/2020 10:41

mindproject, why should the OP, who is vulnerable, go to the supermarket when there is a healthy adult who could do it on her behalf?

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