To feel nothings left for average families

[Aubrystrawberry]

I fully support the vunerable and elderly getting special times to shop and think it's great that some supermarkets have kept slots for them. But.... Is anyone else feeling like it's a catch 22 for families? Especially ones with kids.

I have managed to get one slot in April through Asda. It was pure luck! I have children aged 2 and 4. My partner's still working all week and he's worried about catching this virus like the rest of us. We are trying to stay home because I'm anemic and don't know how dangerous it would be as I've been quite poorly. It's not recognised as a huge problem but I've read that we don't have enough red blood cells. (I've made another post on this)

Anyway I've just been on Asda to try add a couple of things on and see how much is now out of stock. It says I'm not allowed to amend until 2 days before it's delivered now. Fair enough. But for god's sake.

I've been on Iceland this morning and they put up a bright red warning that if I'm not elderly or vunerable there are no slots.

Morrisons said they have no slots at all anywhere.

Sainsbury's the same.

Tesco's the same.

I went on Amazon to try do a pantry shop. Nothing on there.

Luckily I get milk delivered. But it's becoming a nightmare trying to work out how i will get food in a couple of weeks time.

What do they expect from people? We are slagged off if we dare take a child or two in shops. We are judged for even being in town with kids. Not everyone but quite a few are vocal about it on our local page on Facebook. People are taking pictures of people trying to get them in trouble for being irresponsible. I'm trying to be responsible and keep the kids indoors and us out of germy shops with mucky trolley handles. But I'm being told on all supermarket websites we should go to the store If we can.

I am not sure how many more weeks this is going on for, but like many others we don't want to risk getting this virus so we want to stay home.

I guess there's nothing we can do. But I think the elderly and vunerable have had a fantastic amount of help and support as they have special times to shop, slots online, volunteers shopping for them. It just feels like families are being treated like vultures for wanting to feed their kids.

Also I didn't panic shop and now I wish I did!

WorriedMom202, prepping is great. But plenty of people can't afford it. And plenty of people simply don't have the space.

You have options, OP. The elderly, the disabled, those with serious underlying illnesses don't.

And most people I know who have received "the letter" ensuring they are eligible for supermarket deliveries can't get slots. These are people who are likely to die if they contract COVID-19. I know at least 2 people in that position.

You can manage with a bit of common sense.I"m a couple of years past 60 and asthmatic, and living on my own in social isolation at the moment. I manage.

You're younger with no lung compromise. You have a husband, FFS!

When you go out to shop:

• wear gloves
• don't touch your face
• observe physical distancing wash your hands as soon as you get home*

What about local shops? Farm shops? My local Indian, Chinese and Turkish grocery shops are full of lovely stuff. Check around to see what smaller or independent shops are doing home deliveries. I read of a business which used to supply restaurants, which now does fresh vegetable home deliveries. Use your initiative.

And most of all use your imagination - in this situation you are actually quite privileged to have a partner, youth, and health.

Good luck!

But it's becoming a nightmare trying to work out how i will get food in a couple of weeks time

This, and the extreme effort you’re going to get food delivered would indicate op you’ve not got a partner who is willing to shop.

Because if you did, it wouldn’t be anywhere near a nightmare, nor would you be trying to work out how to get food, he could simply go whenever he is off.

Is there a back story here?

In world war two there were no supermarkets, and people had ration books. My grandmother used to tell me about trading coupons with the neighbours to make ends meet, and feed kids. Back then food was in short supply and people just used what they could get.

People have become dependent on supermarkets for their food supply, and the pandemic has shown why this doesn't work when demand outstrips supply. You could feel sorry for yourself and go hungry, or think outside the box and find food supplies elsewhere. I have an elderly former cancer patient with anaemia in lockdown, two disabled kids and disabilities myself. Their father cannot visit as he works in retail so I have put a ban on contact. Our food supplies come from online shops which deliver to the door within days, and I found a food wholesaler about 30 miles away who was prepared to let us visit for an order (some are still open). You see the queues at the supermarket and the empty shelves so you need to find other ways to put food in the cupboard. It may not be your usual diet, but I have been saying to my kids for week 'food is food'...

The reality is there are not enough home delivery slots, most of us can probably come up with a reason that we shouldn't leave the house, I for one have COPD so really dont need to catch covid 19 but I dont usually do my shopping on line and I'm responsible for my 83 yr old mother so I need to go to the supermarket, you need to sort it with your husband, he goes or you do.

I agree with you OP. I wonder how many of the posters saying YABU have pre-booked slots with Ocado for the next couple of months?

Nope. Havent even tried. Because dp can stay home with ds and I can go. Dp, doesnt drive. So I go.

I, like the OP, have options. And OP actually does have a slot.

I've been furloughed from work. Just as well really as I have 4 family households to get shopping for. And I am limited to amounts I can purchase at any one time. I seem to spend all my time shopping. Stupid eh?

there are TWO adults in your household - ffs one of you can go to the shops!

Single parent key worker classed a vulnerable (officially not because I think I am) - I go to the supermarket once a week - alone - shop and come home - seriously OP get a grip - and some iron tablets!

I am just so grateful I had the foresight to prepare back in January February. The idea of waiting for a slot at a supermarket or waiting in line for ages must be hellish. My advice is to go separately and really consider what you are buying. Good luck everyone 🍀

I think I'm entitled to the slot I have booked

No, actually, morally you're not. Your situation seems hard to you, but really it's not. Partner, health, youth.

Lots of people were 'poorly' in February - I still have a lingering cold/cough/bronchitis thing from late January - I'm asthmatic, that's the way my body works, asthma controlled but a tendency to get badly affected lungs (pluerisy, pneumonia etc). It makes me on the edge of the risk group for C-19. So I woman up, use my common sense and take precautions when I go shopping.

Feeling quite envious of all these people who have access to farm shops and butchers

Not directed at you PP but this is where all the folk who say how wonderful life in London is are finding out that there are significant disadvantages. We might not have all your theatres and museums but we can get fresh food easily and walk to lovely countryside for our daily exercise. The boot is on the other foot now for a change!

There’s two adults in your household, why can’t you watch the kids and your partner go on his day off/when not at work? Like others are doing? It’s not like your a single parent..?

I have anaemia, quite severe I have to have regular iron infusions. I work for the NHS, still working now. I have not heard or been told anything about my condition.
You seem to be making excuses and problems. You do not need a slot. One of you can go shopping. DP is also a keyworker, probation officer. We're both working. Homeschooling 3 children, 2 with SEND and have a baby.
We're still managing to shop and get out for a daily walk. There are so many people in a worse situation than me I would never book a slot at this moment in time as I am able bodied.
My nana and my parents are isolating due to having vulnerable people in their households. I am doing their shopping on a weekend. They can't get slots. Some people in their situations haven't got any help and are relying on volunteers.
At the weekend get your partner to watch the kids and go yourself or the other way round.

If we listed out the order in which people got delivery slots, an ‘average family’ would be right at the bottom.

Us average families are the lucky ones and need to crack on and just go to the shops as infrequently as possible and be thankful we are the not poor sods who are having to go to work with sick people with inadequate PPE (pretty high risk activity) and be super grateful that others are doing so.

I agree with you OP. I wonder how many of the posters saying YABU have pre-booked slots with Ocado for the next couple of months?

Nope. I would love a slot so I don’t have to go shopping. I don’t need one.

Neither does the OP.

I can think of other categories that are left further beyond you...people with no computer, no internet, no mobile (the very elderly), who are too frail to shop on their own at the best of times, and do not have anyone to shop for them

My husband and I are both key workers, no car, both taking 4 buses a day to work. I am taking a rucksack and walking to the shop on the way home to grab essentials. Whoever is not working has our daughter, I am making sure she doesn't set foot on a bus or in a shop unless it's an emergency. Could one of you do the same?

I don't think it is particularly helpful to highlight the elderly in this way, in the past elderly people have felt sidelined (& still are, a GP has asked elderly patients to sign a DNR form!), it makes a change for them to have special slots in supermarkets.

However similar arrangements must be available for essential workers and the rest of the people are allowed to go to a shop and a chemist.

It doesn't many any of the above will find what they want in the supermarket, we all have to make do.

I ordered some stuff from Amazon Pantry and it's on its way. Amazon Freshis more difficult, lots out of stock at the moment.

Even the elderly and vulnerable don't get slots for weeks if they order online.

There are no winners here. We have to be inventive with tins and what we have in the freezer.

My sympathy is with everyone who is vulnerable and that includes people with children, it must be so hard for them. However moaning about others achieves nothing.

I am 'elderly' btw and self isolating; I haven't taken advantage of any 'elderly' concessions, have managed quite well so far but have two cousins, older than me, who are not online and really appreciated an hour at the local Sainsbury's. I too help out others a bit - would like to do more really.

My 40 year old drives to the supermarket very late at night and picks up what he can, he also does errands for an elderly friend who has severe leg problems, including picking up meds and dressings from the pharmacy. He'd willingly help me if I needed it but at the moment I don't - I've put together a parcel for him a couple of times, he is housing a colleague who can't go home for the foreseeable - how worrying must that be! Neither of them are earning at the moment either but that's another story.

Please let us all emerge from this terrible situation in one piece and resolve to rebuild our lives.

All the best to you, good luck.

OP yes it's not easy but you have options
My DH is a dr on a CV19 ward, his hours have been increased - the nhs shopping hours have been useless as he's either on his way to work or at work when they are available
I'm supposed to be isolating & taking extra precautions as I'm on some pretty serious immunosuppressants
There are no online supermarket shopping slots available here at all
We are managing though - it just requires a change in how we do things and some creative thinking
Last week DH managed to leave a meeting early to do an evening shop by himself & some ended up being a bit random but more than enough available- kids just need to suck up the fussiness
Tonight I'm going - as soon as he gets in, whilst he's decontaminating in the shower
It's quieter in the evening & the kids will be plonked in front of the tv
We've put stuff in the freezer to last a bit longer so we don't have to shop.
There are also small local business offering drive through pick ups (you stay in the car they put in boot) , deliveries - you just need to search more FB, local CV19 support groups most areas even rural ones seem to have one where these things are being advertised. Round here that includes quite a few restaurant suppliers, pubs, butchers, greengrocers, restaurants & corner shops.

I really don't understand your issue here OP.

Have a sheet of paper and a pen and add stuff as it runs low / you realise you need it.

One day per week either you or DP go with the list and do a big shop. The other stays home with the dc. Aim to have that one shop last a minimum of a week.

I'd be interested to read the research that shows the op is more vulnerable because she's anaemic.

That seems very strange seeing as women, overall, are overwhelmingly at lower risk of dying from Covid than men and yet women are far more likely to be anaemic than men.

Surely, if anaemia was a risk factor then women would be more likely to die than men?

Not a Londoner, bitchonthepitch

Not doing too badly here as there is a COOP within walking distance and (for those with cars) supermarkets further afield. But do feel sorry for people on the poorer estates who would normally have to travel on the bus to do their shopping.

If people are judging others for taking children to the shops with them the problem is with them not you. If they're behaving themselves and distancing from others I don't see the issue. It must be really difficult for single parents at the moment. If you're in need of a big shop, there's still a few online suppliers that aren't supermarkets. I've never used them myself, but heard good things about these: www.musclefood.com/

I am just so grateful I had the foresight to prepare back in January February.

What a smug post. You should be grateful that you had the money and space to allow you to stockpile. Many don't.

Not directed at you PP but this is where all the folk who say how wonderful life in London is are finding out that there are significant disadvantages. We might not have all your theatres and museums but we can get fresh food easily and walk to lovely countryside for our daily exercise. The boot is on the other foot now for a change!

@bitchonthepitch This is hilarious. You clearly have no idea whatsoever about London - my area has several independent shops selling fresh, homemade produce, including a butcher, baker, fishmonger, cheesemonger, vintner, Greek and Turkish delis and a Polish supermarket all within walking distance, and that's in addition to the standard cornershops and supermarkets. Not to mention all the restaurants doing takeaways.

Sorry to disappoint you! And shame on you for using CV as an excuse for a bit of London bashing as well.