To feel nothings left for average families

[Aubrystrawberry]

I fully support the vunerable and elderly getting special times to shop and think it's great that some supermarkets have kept slots for them. But.... Is anyone else feeling like it's a catch 22 for families? Especially ones with kids.

I have managed to get one slot in April through Asda. It was pure luck! I have children aged 2 and 4. My partner's still working all week and he's worried about catching this virus like the rest of us. We are trying to stay home because I'm anemic and don't know how dangerous it would be as I've been quite poorly. It's not recognised as a huge problem but I've read that we don't have enough red blood cells. (I've made another post on this)

Anyway I've just been on Asda to try add a couple of things on and see how much is now out of stock. It says I'm not allowed to amend until 2 days before it's delivered now. Fair enough. But for god's sake.

I've been on Iceland this morning and they put up a bright red warning that if I'm not elderly or vunerable there are no slots.

Morrisons said they have no slots at all anywhere.

Sainsbury's the same.

Tesco's the same.

I went on Amazon to try do a pantry shop. Nothing on there.

Luckily I get milk delivered. But it's becoming a nightmare trying to work out how i will get food in a couple of weeks time.

What do they expect from people? We are slagged off if we dare take a child or two in shops. We are judged for even being in town with kids. Not everyone but quite a few are vocal about it on our local page on Facebook. People are taking pictures of people trying to get them in trouble for being irresponsible. I'm trying to be responsible and keep the kids indoors and us out of germy shops with mucky trolley handles. But I'm being told on all supermarket websites we should go to the store If we can.

I am not sure how many more weeks this is going on for, but like many others we don't want to risk getting this virus so we want to stay home.

I guess there's nothing we can do. But I think the elderly and vunerable have had a fantastic amount of help and support as they have special times to shop, slots online, volunteers shopping for them. It just feels like families are being treated like vultures for wanting to feed their kids.

Also I didn't panic shop and now I wish I did!

Why not just shop locally? Many farm shops/butchers/bakers/greengrocers even catering suppliers are open and/or offering delivery.
Where I live there is a food market and several stalls are offering home delivery too.
So important to support small suppliers and much easier to get hold of food this way too.

Check online - our local butcher, bakery, cheese stall and farm shop are all delivering- and need the business more than supermarkets do. And there’s the milkman too- he brings us eggs and potatoes as well as milk.

It’s perfectly reasonable to feel frustrated with the situation, but it’s healthier to explore solutions than to let it get you down.

Good luck.

Great minds @trickyex!

I don’t understand why your husband can’t just go and shop? My husband is still going to work, I’m working from home also with a 4 and 2 year old, he just goes to the shop in the evening or on a day off (he normally does the food shop anyway), he’s the only one going out and to the shops. We don’t need the delivery slot as we are able to drive to the shop a few miles away, our children don’t need to go as there are 2 adults. Supermarkets are pretty much 24/7 apart from Sunday, I honestly don’t get your issue? Why can’t your husband go after work?

Yabu, you have options. Your dh is going out to work so can go to a shop, you have a delivery slot, you have local shops.
It doesn't take 2 adults and 2 kids to do a shop, your dh is surely capable of going alone.

People who genuinely have no options, housebound, disabled, single parents even are struggling but a 2 parent family with one parent at work isn't that big of a deal. Yes there might be a wait to get in the supermarket but it's not the end of the world.

I've struggled, dh is actually vulnerable and working from home and I have 2 children, one a tiny bf baby that I can't leave for long, but I've had to leave dh with the children and go out myself to shop (for us an elderly neighbours) then strip off at the back door and put clothes straight in the wash then shower myself- your dh can do that.

Feeling quite envious of all these people who have access to farm shops and butchers. Used to love the days when there were still butchers around. Farm shops of course were never an option as we live in an urban area. Haven't seen a milkman in the last 20 years.

But you DONT need to go and take your kids? I would understand if you were a single parent. But you can go alone while your partner has the kids. Or he can go while you have them. Or you can fill up the slot you've been lucky enough to get with enough food for at least three weeks even if its not the stuff you'd usually choose. Or you can try nonsupermarket alternatives- loads of butchers and fruit and veg places by me are offering delivery within a day or two..even just eat etc are still working!

You have loads more options than some people....what more do you want?

If you're worried about supermarket trolleys wear gloves and wash your hands (like literally everyone else has to do!) Or take your own bags/trolley!

Hi all I hope this will help all of you especially those with families.
novablooms.com/delivery delivers fresh fruit and veg and other bit to anywhere in the UK.
www.newcoventgardenmarket.com/ delivers only to London postcodes fresh fruit and veg and also milk, eggs and bread.
I do hope this helps, they are a little more pricey than most but stuff is good and they deliver Nova Bloom has pre priced family boxes depending on the size of your family.

You really won’t be at more risk being anaemic. Millions of mostly women are clinically anaemic. Keep your diet good and take your supplements and you’ll be reet.

There's a difference between official guidance and gossipy neighbours/facebook hysteria. You can ignore the second but not the first.

If you need supplies and are not vulnerable, you can go to the shops and buy them. You can take children with you if you have no choice due to opening hours/your DPs working hours and explain to the shop you have nobody to look after them. The shops asking people not to bring in children are trying to discourage family outings and rampaging teenagers, not genuine shoppers. Or you can get your DP to shop, or to look after the children.

If you are really stuck then contact one of the neighbourhood volunteer groups with a shopping list. Our council has a phone number that anybody with difficulty can ring and get some help organised, not just vulnerable groups.

I appreciate not everyone has access to lovely little butchers and greengrocers but judging from our Facebook local (very ordinary city suburb), there are no end of delivery schemes popping up from local businesses.

One of you goes to the shop. The other stays home with the kids. Everyone else is doing this.

I agree with slots for the vulnerable and elderly. These are essential right now.
You aren't in a bad position. I don't know anyone slaughtering mums for taking kids shopping. Just do it.

You are very fortunate.

Neither of the adults in your family are medically defined as vulnerable. I understand that you don’t want to get ill. Who does??

But you can stay at home with the children while your husband gets food. Plus, you already have a precious delivery slot so I’m not sure why you’re moaning really.

I’m a single parent and a key worker. Your situation could be much harder OP. Be thankful for what you have.

Those with delivery slots aren't just shopping for themselves. I am keeping my recurrent slot with Asda as I get a weekly delivery. I shop for my PIL who are sheilded, my elderly neighbours (2 houses) as well as our own family.

So don't assume we are all selfish.

I'm immunosuppressed but can't get a delivery slot. Dh is going to the supermarket when we need food and is taking the usual precautions when he gets home.

We're just having to deal with the risk, like everyone else. It's shit for everyone right now and tbh this situation has highlighted how infantile so many adults appear to be.
Get a grip ffs.

my parents had a lette rto say they had been recognised as being vulnerable and were entitled to delivery slots.
My mum went straight on to book one.
June, nothingg before.

She lives 30 minutes drive away and I am doing her shopping and taking it over, if they run out of milk before next Tuesday, they drink black tea. It really isn't any easier for them either.

OP, you have my sympathy, as does anyone struggling in this. But your dh needs ot do the shopping. Not just 'get us some food' but take hte list and do a weekly shop.

I know he will be tired as he is working, but that is how life is at the moment.

How many more threads of woe is me, lack of common sense are we going to see??
You’re anaemic as am I, it’s manageable and not a reason to be flailing about unable to do things.
You have an able bodied DH who I doubt works 24/7, supermarkets are open early to late.
Stop being a. drama queen 🙄

and i do have a delivery slot.
I am shopping for 4 households, mine plus 3 vulnerable ones

I am disabled. I would probably qualify for a delivery. I walk past the supermarket on my dog walk each day. There is a butcher and baker roughly the same distance away. I can just about carry a weeks worth of shopping for one person. It wouldn’t enter my head to try to get a slot.

Before you go to sleep tonight count your blessings: Think about how lucky you are.

You have a hell of a lot to be thankful for.

It will make you feel so much better to recognise that.

Please people be nice to each other, the nastiness this virus has bought out in people is worse than the virus it's self. There is a piece in the Washington Post from an eminent scientist, try to read it if you can it is all about the transmission of the virus from touching objects, he says there has to be a fully chain of events to occur before you can catch it this way and the possibility of that chain being 100% is so minuscule. to start with the person who touched that item before you has to have a full blown case of the virus and to sneeze or cough over it, this is where the first most important part of the chain fails. If someone was that sick with the virus they'd either be home in bed or at a hospital. then the virus starts to loose it's stability straight away and goes down by 50% over and hour, then 50% over the next hour etc, that's if it takes an hour. yes they have detected the virus on items at different times spans but it is only a trace not enough for you to get infected. the most important thing to remember is after you touch something wash your hands before you touch your face, there is such a tiny chance of getting it from most daily things, do not get hung up on it or you will make yourselves ill.

Why can't one of you go and do a shop at the weekend? You're not confined to your home, you're not seriously immune deficient.

Stop being such a wet flannel and step the fuck up.

Make a meal plan, then a list, go at the weekend with gloves and a mask. Wash your hands or shower when you get in.

Your husband working and having children does not make you a vulnerable person.

My sisters a doctor on the front line. She's working 16 hr shifts off the back of 3 hrs of sleep. 5 patients have died on her this week. She has over 40 CV patients in her ward as we speak.

Get some gumption and stop waiting for a hand out.

The situation also means it's far harder to shop on a budget.

For example, I normally buy bread that's 55p a loaf...none in my nearest supermarket so I had to spend £1.60 on a half loaf of poster stuff...which was no nicer. The only coffee left on the shelf was the really expensive stuff. I still can't buy rice so I am buying those sachets which is much more expensive.

A lot of cafes and caterers near me are doing grocery boxes - something to look into.

But I agree with the majority - a two parent family really doesn’t have an issue here