To feel nothings left for average families

[Aubrystrawberry]

I fully support the vunerable and elderly getting special times to shop and think it's great that some supermarkets have kept slots for them. But.... Is anyone else feeling like it's a catch 22 for families? Especially ones with kids.

I have managed to get one slot in April through Asda. It was pure luck! I have children aged 2 and 4. My partner's still working all week and he's worried about catching this virus like the rest of us. We are trying to stay home because I'm anemic and don't know how dangerous it would be as I've been quite poorly. It's not recognised as a huge problem but I've read that we don't have enough red blood cells. (I've made another post on this)

Anyway I've just been on Asda to try add a couple of things on and see how much is now out of stock. It says I'm not allowed to amend until 2 days before it's delivered now. Fair enough. But for god's sake.

I've been on Iceland this morning and they put up a bright red warning that if I'm not elderly or vunerable there are no slots.

Morrisons said they have no slots at all anywhere.

Sainsbury's the same.

Tesco's the same.

I went on Amazon to try do a pantry shop. Nothing on there.

Luckily I get milk delivered. But it's becoming a nightmare trying to work out how i will get food in a couple of weeks time.

What do they expect from people? We are slagged off if we dare take a child or two in shops. We are judged for even being in town with kids. Not everyone but quite a few are vocal about it on our local page on Facebook. People are taking pictures of people trying to get them in trouble for being irresponsible. I'm trying to be responsible and keep the kids indoors and us out of germy shops with mucky trolley handles. But I'm being told on all supermarket websites we should go to the store If we can.

I am not sure how many more weeks this is going on for, but like many others we don't want to risk getting this virus so we want to stay home.

I guess there's nothing we can do. But I think the elderly and vunerable have had a fantastic amount of help and support as they have special times to shop, slots online, volunteers shopping for them. It just feels like families are being treated like vultures for wanting to feed their kids.

Also I didn't panic shop and now I wish I did!

But your DH is out working anyway so you have just as much chance of him bringing the virus home from work as him popping to a supermarket once a week.

What's this 'old and vulnerable' vs. 'average families' bit? Not everyone is old or vulnerable or living in an 'average family' whatever that is. We are all affected in different ways. You are not in some clearly defined demographic who needs access as a demographic. Casting it this way, as a binary, leaves many other social groups invisible.

My mum and mil are relying on us to take them shopping, so the once a week dh or I go shopping we are doing a food shop for 3 different households.

You just need to make the best of a bad situation. You stay home with the kids and send your dh. Shopping it’s what thousands of families across the world are doing.

We all take our freedom for granted and st present to protect ourselves and other side we need to make changes and dod things we don’t normally do,

Intelinside57 if you go on Sainsburys website there is an 0800 number to ring for over 70's to register for priority, no mention of additional conditions just over 70.

I do sympathise that it's hard but millions of people are in the same position - you just need to get on with it unfortunately.

You're very fortunate you have a partner who can go for you.

We're shielding and so can't leave the house till June (1 adult and 3 children) we can't get a delivery slot.
I think in unprecedented times the supermarkets are trying their best.
Can you not shop on your dhs day off?

I feel your pain as my husband doesn’t drive due to disability and I am exclusively breastfeeding a 5 week old but it is what it is - I take him to the supermarket and wait in the car with baby whilst he queues and shops. He’s partially sighted so it takes bloody ages for him to find anything!!

I really don't understand this one either. Why doesn't the DH sit in the car with the baby? Even an EBF baby can go 30/40 mins without a feed.

Ignore the supermarkets, they are useless.
Our milk and bread comes from the milkman
Fruit and veg comes from the local greengrocer who delivers since last week
Pasta, muesli, pulses etc come from the local refill/organic shop. They started delivering 3 weeks ago.
Meat, eggs and some more veg come from a restaurant supplier who delivers to private households now.
All sorted, no supermarkets involved. All you need to do is get active on facebood, nextdoor etc and find new options.

I’m another one who is shielding and cannot get a delivery slot

The promised priority for the exceptionally vulnerable has not yet occurred.

So I think the opening post is based on a false premise

There's nothing for you because honestly you don't need it. Your partner can easily shop, there is no reason for you or the children to go.

It is so easy when life is difficult to feel the situation is impossible, but it isn't - you do have options.

I was very poorly in February - still have the cough/sinus trouble on and off. I'm also a single parent so I have no choice but to go shopping. Thems the breaks unfortunately!

I feel a bit of what you are saying, but not in the way I think you should get a slot- more nosey people need to back off. People are going as far to photograph people in queues they disapprove of, shouting at kids out and about and sticking up vile identifying rants on Facebook. I feel it’s harder to fight the social response than manage the response to the virus quite sensibly.

I have 4 kids, I’ve been shamed buying more than a few items at a checkout, I’ve had them shouted at when they are out with me.

I feel a bit like it’s taking a mental toll. The housing association have even sent a letter, and put it on Facebook groups, that we need to keep kids quiet throughout the day (being aware of stopping boisterous play, lowering volume on games/ TVs etc). The only complaints I’ve heard is about weed smoking under windows and BBQs. Yet they keep targeting mums and kids.

I am going shopping, but I do think I have the right to go like other people. Not photographed or approached. Some shops have banned children altogether. For me this is a limited period while DH is ill, but single parents are really getting it rough. I’ve wanted a slot tbh just to avoid the social backlash particularly

The PAS say theres no reason to think people with anaemia will contract covid easier or suffer more based on their anemia. However, theres no research.

They seem more worried about people not being able to get their treatment.

Anemia doesnt put op into the vulnerable category at the moment. However, he definitely could go shopping.

It appears op read something this morning on a support group, that could be completely unverified and worrying. Just my opinion based on another thread o was already on.

I do think you are unreasonable OP. But I also think people could be a bit more understanding as everyone is stressed at the moment.

Like many others, i'm disabled, vulnerable, stuck in the house, a single parent and cannot drive for health reasons (so have no car). I can't get a delivery slot when I need to feed my family either. I don't have anyone who can help. If I had my health, OR a car, OR a partner, i'd be so incredibly relieved. If i die my DC will have no one. I wish it was just an inconvenience to not be able to get a home delivery anymore.

Not sure if this is any help but we have a milkman and he brings quite a lot of extra stuff for us now. Bread, eggs, juice,butter, yoghurts,bacon etc.

High risk / elderly people need to stay home if at all possible

Healthy younger people should go out to the shops when they need groceries
They, especially their kids, are at the very lowest risk level

With 2 adults, one stays home with the DC
SPs need to shop too - how many shops are really "banning" kids

If you are going out to buy things you need, just ignore any judgey fuckers

Nothing they can actually do, except drown in their own bile

My oh will go and get us food. He's worried for me and doing his best to protect us as a family. But yes we will have to go

You don’t have to go. He does. He’s going out to work anyway. The chances of him bringing the virus back to you are not that much higher if he stops off at the shop.

You stay home with the kids, he gets shopping after work.

Tbh, you need to focus on the things that you can be thankful for, otherwise you will stress yourself out and that’s not healthy.

Yes, it’s crap, for everyone. Every single person has different needs and different priorities. But my goodness, we are living in the U.K. with housing, and access to food and clean water, even if sometimes it feels like a struggle. We only know our own experiences and my ‘worst’ may be very different to someone else’s. I fully respect that. But you need some perspective or you will drive yourself crazy.

@Noconceptofnormal My parents in their 70s received an email notification that they had been identified as priority by Sainsbury's based on their DOB and got a delivery slot. Might be worth checking this out?

YABU

You would think that between two grown adults you'd be able to get your shopping without complaining about older and vulnerable people getting the delivery slots rather than you.

So what category would you like to have created for you? Two adults with children, but for various reasons don't fancy going shopping category?

Have your partner do a shop as they are already out of the house. The risk will be no greater, provided they maintain social distancing.

My household is my mother (50's, works for the postal service -in office- so is still at work as a key worker) who doesn't drive, has epilepsy, anaemia and generally can't do a whole lot without another person with her, myself (pregnant and furloughed), my partner (athsmatic and working from home) and my 7 year old son.

My gran lives nearby and she's getting deliveries from Iceland.

My partner and I shop once a week at Asda. Stock hasn't been an issue in store, we have everything we need. We are managing as a family by being sensible.

Make meal plans, shop for what you need once a week (or as little as possible). Leave the deliveries for people who absolutely cannot get to a store.

When we go to the supermarket, we take gloves, disinfectant wipes and handwash. Clean the trolley before use, wear gloves for everything except payment. Wash hands afterwards. Then we wash with soap and water after we unload. Stay 6 feet away from people (supermarkets are doing their best to accommodate this, by limiting the number of people allowed in store and placing arrows everywhere).

It's perfectly manageable for a family, as long as you're willing to adjust.

I have 3 children, youngest had surgery on his lung recently and is very vulnerable, so we are shielding. My partner is a key worker. He still has to work so he has moved in with his brother (also a key worker) and is dropping shopping off to us when needed. This means he can still work without the worry of bringing the virus home. Its tough being apart but it is best all round. I wouldnt feel comfortable taking a home delivery slot when I have a partner able to do it. There are lots of people who have no one to help and need it more than me. I'm not suggesting you are wrong to do it, it's just my view.

Just to say that elderly / vulnerable are not getting priority slots either. It's only if you are 'extremely vulnerable'.

Extremely vulnerable not getting any slots/different treatment that I can see. My DH and DF both have received letters but that hasn't enabled my parents to access their usual Sainsburys deliveries slot and haven't had any contact (both over 80 as well) and we have Ocado and Morrisons deliveries usually and it has made no difference to access.

Well, are you special or are you average?

For the average family in your circumstance, actually there are lots of options. Presumably your partner is not working 24/7. So either he stays home with the kids while you shop or vice versa. This is not difficult to work out.

Tesco releases some slots regularly most days. Keep checking it.